Welcome Bags

Here are pictures from the boys' welcome bags that we sent them!

Included:

• A Mickey Mouse photo book with 15 labeled pictures. I sent some of us, grandparents, aunts, great grandparents, the school they will attend, our house, and the kids doing fun activities. Since there are two boys were able to send 30 different pictures! It was hard to decide which ones would go in who's album...I just hope they are good sharers! :0)

• A blanket made by Marcinda. I got the fabric FOREVER ago when we thought we would be receiving a baby, but I think the boys will appreciate them still!

• 2 Hot wheels cars and a power ranger (picked out by Hunter from his personal toys).

• Several sheets of sports and smiley face stickers for them to share with their friends.

• 5 pieces of sidewalk chalk (again, I'm hoping they will share with their friends!)

• A disposable camera. I can not wait to see what they decide to take pictures of!

• A small silver cross that they can put in their pillow or in their pocket.

• Their bracelets that we made (and are wearing matching ones) are in there for them to put on each other.

• A card with Lincoln and I's voices recorded on them. We told them that we love them, miss them, and will be seeing them soon!

• A shirt I had made...you can see the front and back of them in each of the individual pictures...the front has an STJ picture and the back has "The Redburns" with a Dad, Mom, 3 sons (all the same size), and a smaller daughter. I'm so excited to get a picture with all of us wearing them!
• A letter from Lincoln and I, one from Hunter, and one from Grammie and Charlie. We can send them letters every 2 weeks and include stickers or pictures!
  

I hope the boys enjoy their bags. I hope they are able to study our faces, just like we have theirs and are able to pass some time playing with their new toys.



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Lessons from Claire #6:

People grieve in very different ways. Lincoln and I handled the situation very, very differently and for awhile I was worried about our relationship. I needed someone with me at all times (although I didn't always want to talk or have them talking). Lincoln wanted to be left alone. He didn't say more than 5 words a day for 2 weeks, I swear. It was challenging, but taught me a lot about the grieving process and having empathy for others.

I love my husband because:

he makes the most awesome home made chicken and noodles EVER!

A good start to the day

...includes me and my kids, snuggled up on the couch with a blanket, watching some cartoons, drinking our chi tea lattes, and looking out the window at the snow.

Ahhh, I wish these days would last forever.

what is your perfect start to a day?

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Lessons from Claire #5:

It's okay to miss someone so much it hurts, but still go on with your life. I used to think that if I ever lost a husband or child I would be debilitated for the rest of my life. For quite a while I felt very guilty anytime I smiled or laughed after she was gone. Losing her has taught me that I can enjoy my life after death...and it's okay!

I love my husband because:

He calls me during his first break from work every day. In front of all the guys...and tells me he loves me.

B Verse

Before we move on to our B Verse, here is Hunter quoting his A verse...not quite word for word, but he always remembers the jest of the verse, which I think is the most important thing at this age (well, and my age!).

Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved.
Acts 16:31

Hunter had a hard time deciding what to draw for this verse. Eventually he came up with the idea for this drawing:


It's a man thinking (the one with the dot on top of his head), a man in a hole, and then the man is out of the hole. Jesus saved him.


What a precious little boy. I praised him for his drawing and then explained another meaning of being saved. ;0)

Here is Hunter holding up his verse and his drawing. Gray needed to be in there, so she grabbed their Bible and joined in!
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Lessons from Claire #4:

Memories are sometimes better left as just that...pictures and videos are not required to hold perfect, beautiful memories.

I love my husband because:

of the way he holds my hand. I don't like interlocking finger hand holding...and he never does!

An email from my Mother-in-law

Here is an email from my mother-in-law that I wanted to share with you all.

Hello everyone!!
We've shared with some of you already, but we are so excited to tell you that our son and his wife, Lincoln and Ashley are adopting twin boys from Ethiopia!! Son Hunter and daughter Graysen are thrilled to be getting two new brothers!!
As you can imagine, there is much to be done in not too many weeks. Ash is working furiously on more paperwork, they are getting needed shots to make the trip to get the boys, looking for another set of bunk beds AND a mini van... LOTS to do!!
To help offset cost of the trip, Ashley is putting together a cookbook to sell and raise funds. THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN!!!
We are asking that you send 1, 2 or 3 of your favorite recipes to include in the book. You may email them to me, or stick them in the mail: PO Box 522, St. James, MO 65559.
PLEASE do it soon, we don't have much time to get them typed and book-ready, get the books ordered, printed and then sold.
We certainly appreciate any and all help, and please be in prayer for the boys' adjustment as they meet and join their new family!!

God is so good!!!
With much love,
Marcinda Bixler Redburn

We are having the recipe books printed and are taking donations for them. We would love advance orders so that we have an idea of how many to print, but advance orders are not necessary. I will make sure to announce when they are printed in case you decide at a later time you'd like to order. I think they will make great gifts, as the recipes are coming from all around the world!

Thank you in advance for the support in bringing S & B home,
Lincoln and Ashley

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Lessons from Claire #3:

Our marriage can handle a lot. If we can survive (and thrive) through the loss of a child, we can survive anything that comes our way!

I love my husband because:

He strives to be a man of integrity everywhere he goes...even when it's not the popular decision.

Have I mentioned

That I love our babysitter?

Seriously. I love her. And no, I'm just saying that because she's a fellow blogger...

She's great because:

Our house is always in the same condition or BETTER than when we left the house.

Our kids are well taken care of. She interacts with them one on one.

When asked, she has them ready for bed and most of the time IN BED! Amazing.

She reads Hunter his Bible stories, just like we do before bed.

I trust that she is a woman of God and would not let my kids do, say, see, or hear anything that we wouldn't.

So, we love you, and although we're difficult to work for (I know, you don't have to pretend we're not!), you are the best....

Thank you!

Love cures

"Love cures people both the ones who give and the ones who receive."

Are you willing to share a time when someone's love cured you...?

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Lessons from Claire #2:

Love defies time, miles, and death. I am amazed to this day that I felt people's love from thousands of miles away. It was proven to me, for the first time in my life, that you can physically feel God's love for you. I definitely felt His loving arms wrapped around me, while I laid in bed for weeks before and after, while I held my daughter, and while I sat at the cemetery while she was buried.

I love my husband because:

He is willing to help with household chores. Sure, sometimes I have to ask, but none the less, he does not refuse to fold a load of laundry or empty the dishwasher! I am blessed.

My top 10 and 28

February holds two special dates for our family. One is Claire's birthday on February 10th. The other is Lincoln and I's wedding anniversary on the 28th. In honor of each of these days I am planning on posting the top 10 things I learned from Claire's birth and death and the top 28 things that I love about my husband and our marriage.

Lessons from Claire #1:

There are good, caring, nice people left in this world. It's easy to look around and see all the negativity, violence, and generally heartless people in today's world. Sometimes I have a very hard time seeing the good people...but they really are there. In a crisis, the good people come out of the woodwork and surround you with love, prayers, hugs, flowers, food, gifts, and support. I was amazed at all of the awesome people I came in contact with those first few months following Claire's birth. I even met one of my very best friends at that point...a kind email from a girl I went to HS with, but had never talked to.


I love my husband because:

He is very good about making sure that I have some time to myself. He can tell when I've had a hard day and is good about telling me to go take a nap, or a bath or sending me on errands by myself.

World On Fire

A friend of Lincoln's sent him this video. I only wish it went a little slower!! :0)

Enjoy!

Now that we're family...

I'll be moving all my posts about the boys to my main family blog. Thank you all for following along here on this blog and supporting us along the way!

Ashley

Craft Inspiration

I am always looking for fun crafts to do with my kids. I subscribe to Family Fun, and tend to find lots of good ideas in there, but sometimes our inspiration comes from real life. Like this photo that we saw today of a room where our boys will be staying... (cropped to keep other people's kids and waiting children out of the picture)


I commented on the paper chains and Hunter immediately wanted to learn how to make them...so, we sat down and made some for his bedroom! He can't wait to send a picture to S and B to show them that he has paper chains in his room too!


Look! I can post a picture of this adorable little boy with his paper chains...because he has a family! How excited we'll be to start posting pictures of our new precious additions...because they will have a family too!

Yes, son I'll try...

Me: Hunter, you won't be going with us to Ethiopia to get your brothers, you're going to stay here with Grammie and Graysen.

Hunter: No way. I'm going.

Me: Honey, it will be too hard of a trip for you to make.

Hunter: Then you have to close your eyes.

Me: What honey?

Hunter: You have to keep your eyes closed Mom!

Me: You want me to keep my eyes closed when I go to Ethiopia to pick them up?

Hunter: Yes.

Me: That would be really hard, why would I do that Hunter?

Hunter: Because I have to see my brothers first Mom!!!

S and B,

Your brother Hunter loves you so very much. He has been praying for you for almost a year now. He can't wait to get you here with us. He wants to share his toys and teach you all that he knows about life here. He is very excited about reading his bible over again with you. He hopes that one of you will want to sleep in bed with him rather than just in the same room with him. He wants you to teach him Amharic. He is excited that he will have brothers to go to school with, he was rather unsure about Kindergarten before, but is super confident now that he will have his brothers by his side.

We love you so very much. We look at your pictures every morning and are in wonderment that you are actually our boys. God designed us to be a family...and we can't wait to start!

Love,
Mom

One Little Thing

that will link us and our boys together...

until we can get them home. We made them bracelets that are being sent in their Welcome Bags and we are all wearing ours until they get here!

We miss you S and B!!

Me - Trendy?!

Yesterday I was sitting in my sister's salon chair. Like I do every Tuesday morning. Graysen and I have standing appointments. Tuesdays and Thursdays - 9:15 - 11:15. We drop Hunter off at pre-school and then head to Kara's to get our hair done. It's a nice time to catch up with my sister...plus I don't have to do my hair two days a week!

As I was sitting in the chair I over heard an older woman in another chair.

"Well, look at that, that girl must do all the trendy styles in here."

Was she referring to my hair as trendy?! I've never once thought of myself as trendy. Never. Not in High School, not in college, and definitely not since becoming a mom 5.5 years ago!

But, as I sat there looking at myself in the mirror, with my hair nicely washed and styled by my sister, holding my precious baby girl on my lap with her hair neatly braided in double french braids and her finger and toe nails freshly painted I could see it. Just for a moment, I was a trendy girl. I was a trendy mom.

Love is an action word

Read this!

No, seriously. Go read it. I've started a thousand posts (okay - maybe more like 10) trying to say what this woman just said.

and please...if you have any questions, please, please, please ask.

Although we are bringing home our two sons we would love to help bring more home. If you want us to pray for you heart...for your spouses heart...if you want us to answer questions, if you want us to sit down and explain the process...we're more than willing.

Our lives are forever changed

There are really no words. I've been waiting for 6 days to write this post, but still, the perfect words elude me.

We started the adoption process on March 26, 2009. We made the commitment together that night to ourselves, our family, and most importantly to The Lord to follow what we felt like was His calling in our lives. We immediately started researching different home study and placement agencies and decided on the ones that fit our family the best. We finished all of the paperwork and our Dossier went to Ethiopia on July 21, 2009.

On January 19, 2010 we received the call that forever changed our lives.

"Hi Ashley, this is Susan from ***. I have a file for twin 6 year old boys if you're interested in reviewing it."

Wow. In those simple sentences my heart became the mother of two more children.

So, there you have it! We are now emotionally the parents of twin 6 year old boys. We'll call them S and B for now. I can not share their picture over the internet in any way (email, blog, etc.) I can not write their full names on here.

What's next? Now there is more paperwork to be done. We will have a court date (with our POA representing us) in Ethiopia in about 12 weeks. After we pass court we will legally be the boys' parents. We will travel sometime in April or May (hopefully) to pick our sons up and bring them home with us to join our family forever.

There are names to be picked. Bunk beds and a mini van to be bought. We get to put together "Welcome Bags" to send. There is a trip to Ethiopia to plan. There is a lot to be done, unfortunately I'm not getting much done.

We just keep staring at their pictures and praying for their hearts. I can tell you that they have beautiful big, brown eyes. I can tell you that Hunter and Graysen are smitten already and talk about them every 5 minutes or so. Yes, they look alike, but are not identical. We pray together for the transition that they are about to make. We research Ethiopia, for their country and culture are about to collide with ours and we want to help them hang on to as much of it as possible.

Thank you all for your support over the first part of our journey. You have been amazing. You have lifted me up when I needed it. Please pray for our children and our family...all 6 of us!

Our lives are forever changed

There are really no words. I've been waiting for 6 days to write this post, but still, the perfect words elude me.

We started the adoption process on March 26, 2009. We made the commitment together that night to ourselves, our family, and most importantly to The Lord to follow what we felt like was His calling in our lives. We immediately started researching different home study and placement agencies and decided on the ones that fit our family the best. We finished all of the paperwork and our Dossier went to Ethiopia on July 21, 2009.

On January 19, 2010 we received the call that forever changed our lives.

"Hi Ashley, this is Susan from ***. I have a file for twin 6 year old boys if you're interested in reviewing it."

Wow. In those simple sentences my heart became the mother of two more children.

So, there you have it! We are now emotionally the parents of twin 6 year old boys. We'll call them S and B for now. I can not share their picture over the internet in any way (email, blog, etc.) I can not write their full names on here.

What's next? Now there is more paperwork to be done. We will have a court date (with our POA representing us) in Ethiopia in about 12 weeks. After we pass court we will legally be the boys' parents. We will travel sometime in April or May (hopefully) to pick our sons up and bring them home with us to join our family forever.

There are names to be picked. Bunk beds and a mini van to be bought. We get to put together "Welcome Bags" to send. There is a trip to Ethiopia to plan. There is a lot to be done, unfortunately I'm not getting much done.

We just keep staring at their pictures and praying for their hearts. I can tell you that they have beautiful big, brown eyes. I can tell you that Hunter and Graysen are smitten already and talk about them every 5 minutes or so. Yes, they look alike, but are not identical. We pray together for the transition that they are about to make. We research Ethiopia, for their country and culture are about to collide with ours and we want to help them hang on to as much of it as possible.

Thank you all for your support over the first part of our journey. You have been amazing. You have lifted me up when I needed it. Please pray for our children and our family...all 6 of us!

The phone call that ended in this...

Hunter has been trying to prove to his dad that he is responsible enough to have a cat ever since Aunt Sissy got one for Christmas.

I got these messages from Hunter on my phone Friday night:

"Mommy, I would really like to have a kitten that I found on the internet that needs a home and me and Grammie were looking at a cat book that my Grammie has and she has her claws out and she uses the litter boxes and she loves to have kids around and um, she's fantastic with kids, and guess what? What? I love this kitten and I really want her so talk to my dad about it, bye."

"Okay now, mom, I have a question to tell you, guess what? I did my chore chart today and guess what? A chore cart of the kitty. And I cleaned it's litter box, and I even got its food, it's water, cleaned the bowl out, and I did everything for the kitty, played with her."


Guess what those messages did to a Mommy's heart?!

Saturday brought this...

During my blogging break

As suggested by Kelley, here are some of my favorite happenings during my blogging break (which occurred from October 11th - December 28th 2009). I'm not going to include Graysen starting dance class or her birthday - both of which will get their own posts!

1. Going to the Pumpkin Patch and Halloween.

I absolutely adore our trip to the pumpkin patch every year. There's something about getting out in the crisp fall weather all bundled up in our sweaters. I love watching my kids do fun fall activities that always include corn, hay bales, and fields of pumpkins! This year we went to the little patch in Dixon. It was the first time we'd been there (we almost always go to Eckert's), and we loved it! I definitely think we'll go back again next year. There was a fun corn stalk maze (that took way too long to get through), animals for the kids to feed, a huge hay bale thing to jump off of, a spooky house, corn to sit and play in, and a hay ride out to the pumpkin field.

My sweet boy tromping through the maze

Seriously, how much fun is all this corn?!

For Halloween this year Hunter was Indiana Jones. No, I have not let my 5 year old watch any of the Indiana Jones movies. He saw it in one of the costume catalogs that we got and would not be satisfied with any other costume. Graysen was a ballet dancer for the Halloween party that we went to, but on the night of Halloween, she wouldn't dress up (so she wore her candy corn dress her Aunt Becca made for her). She is typically scared of costumes, so I didn't even attempt to get her any kind of other costume. We had a good Trick or Treating night, the Smith's came over with Easton and we went to the Shaner's home. Then we went to First Baptist Church Trunk or Treat.

Graysen in her dress made my Aunt Becca

Indiana Jones

Hunter pretending to be scared of the "Mummies" we made for lunch one day.

2. Visiting Lindenwood

On October 23rd Megan and I took a small group of our dancers to Lindenwood University to tour of the campus, take a ballet class with my former college ballet teacher, and attend the student directed dance concert. It was such a great day spending time with some of my dancers, seeing them outside of the classroom setting. I enjoyed being back on campus, seeing how much things have changed. It was great to see Miss Jan, and awesome to see all the new dance facilities! After a lunch out and some shopping we headed back to campus for the dance concert. It was a great show, the first I've seen in several years. My friend Amy, from my college dance days met us for the concert! I was transported back in time for the day, enjoying my old college campus, professors, friends, and town. Although it made me miss those times, it also made me appreciate what I have now!

3. Jennifer's Baby Shower

On November 8th my cousin and I hosted a baby shower for one of our friends. I have known Jennifer for a few years now, after she and her husband joined our bible study group. I love hosting get togethers, so this baby shower was right up my ally! Babies are especially close to my heart, so I found this to be a perfect opportunity to show my love to her during her first pregnancy!

4. A visit with a great friend.

My wonderful friend Nikki came to Cuba for a whole week in November! I was able to spend an entire afternoon with her, and it was amazing! She was also able to attend Graysen's 2nd birthday party and take pictures for us (she's a professional photographer in the KC area), which was very special. We were very good friends in HS, and she lived with us for a time following HS. She was the guest book attendant for my wedding, and I was a bridesmaid in hers. She has a beautiful little girl named Ella. I just adore my time with her, unfortunately it's too far between our visits.

5. Thanksgiving

I always love Thanksgiving! It may be my favorite holiday simply because you get to gather with your entire family and eat awesome food, but no gifts are expected! So much less stress! This year we had Thanksgiving breakfast with the Redburn's, then went to Aunt Kim's for lunch. This year we also had Chad's birthday on Thanksgiving, so after lunch we went back to Mom's for birthday cake and gifts! :0) The day after Thanksgiving we went to Chuck E. Cheese for Chad's "surprise" birthday party. Hunter was so cute, he really believed he was keeping a secret from Chad for several weeks as we planned his party. So adorable.

6. The start of Basketball Season

So...maybe this isn't really a favorite per say, but it was a huge occurrence in our home. The season has been a bit different this year, I'm not on bedrest, and I don't have a child under a year old in the house! Hunter is old enough to go with Lincoln to pre-season conditioning, and we are blessed that both children are old enough to be dropped off with Dad at practice for a few minutes if our work overlap time is less than 1/2 hour. I have attended considerably fewer games this year due to me working on Tuesday nights this year. Aside from having a babysitter more often then we like, basketball has caused much less stress on our family this year than any other year! I think it's only going to get better!

7. Christmas Carol

I was lucky enough to take my oldest son on a date to see A Christmas Carol at LU this year. It was his first play. I only expected to make it to intermission, but when presented with the opportunity to leave during intermission he said "I definitely think we should stay to see the rest of it Mom!" I was thrilled to see that my son has an interest in the performing arts. He laughed at all the appropriate places, and we both jumped in our seats during one part! I was extremely proud of the well behaved 5 year old I took with me as my date. I hope we can make it a tradition!

Hunter and I before leaving for our date

8. Cookie Baking

We usually do some kind of holiday cookie baking in my family, but this year the bug really bit us and Mom chose some 8 different kinds of cookies to make! We had all the ingredients purchased and gathered at her house...only to find that the oven would not work on December 23rd! Two days before she was to host Christmas for our entire family! So...everything was moved to my house and we had a baking extravaganza here instead! My Aunt Kim was able to join us this year, and my cousin Jayna via phone for a little while. I really enjoyed seeing my kids interact with my Aunt, who I have so many wonderful memories with growing up.

Aunt Kim helping Graysen make Sugar Cookies

Hunter: "Seriously Mom, quit taking pictures and just let me make cookies!"

This flour is so much fun! Let's do this every year!

This is real life

Last night I slept from 4:30 p.m. - 7:50 a.m. 15 hours. straight.

Sure, I could've gotten up, but it was easier not to. It was easier not to deal with real life.

My children weren't misbehaving. My husband has been extremely helpful lately.

So, why the ridiculous amount of sleep? I'm stressed. Welcome to my life as a high school / college student. This is what I do. I hibernate. The world could be falling down around me, yet, I sleep.

It's partially this time of year. My world fell apart around this time 4 years ago. I faced what I never dreamed I would have to; the loss of a child...for the second time in a row. As much as I try to stay busy and avoid any memories, thoughts, or recollections, they come flooding back, replaying in my mind as vivid as they were the days they were happening.

I'm also mentally exhausted. It hit me the other day that if we had just gotten pregnant in March '09 when we started this adoption process we would already have a baby. Do I regret the decision to adopt rather than have another biological child...never, no way, absolutely not. But, the honest part of international adoption is this: it's heart wrenching. You attach yourself to a child or children thousands of miles away on anther continent. You've never seen them, you don't know their life story. All you know is that you've committed to loving and raising these kids for the rest of your life. And you can't hold them. You can't tuck them into bed. You miss setting plates for them at meal times. You wonder when their birthday is and if they've ever heard of Santa Clause. You can't wait to teach them to pray and see them ask Jesus into their hearts. You miss your kids. Everyday.

So, I woke up this morning, rested and ready to tackle another day. Another great day with my two children here with me. Ready to do a couple of loads of dishes, a few loads of laundry, and to clean my bedroom. It's another typical day in our home, yet I'm always on pins and needles, waiting for the phone call that will change our family forever...the one that tells me I've got another child coming home.

Project 365 - First 2 weeks

I'm super excited. I just read about this little challenge called Project 365. Although I didn't learn about it until now, Day 9, I'm going to hop on board and see what I have from the first 9 days as well. I'll try to do a bi-monthly recap, and I'd love for you all to join me!!

January 3rd. Seeing my children hard at work hiding the word of God in their hearts is irreplaceable!

January 7th. Hunter immitating Chad while wearing his MS&T hat. Ha ha, are you proud Chad?

January 9th. Hunter had so much fun exploring the snow with his Aunt Sissy and Chad. Thank you for taking him out when I was too wimpy!

January 10th: Graysen is Kara's mini me.

January 11th: These are the days I will miss. I love it when my kids create a game and play nicely together!


January 12th: Graysen is learning to get herself dressed. If you'll notice the jeans are on backward, but she would NOT let me change them! She was very proud!


January 13th: My precious little girl. These are her favorite PJ's of all time.


January 14th: Graysen and Adelyn. She loves babies these days, especially real ones! She just wants them to sit on her lap though...