Only 4 more days...

until we announce the winner of the Photo Session with Nikki Eads!

(This is her husband and beautiful baby girl!)

We will draw a winner on February 19th and announce the winner on February 20th!!!

(Here are the details of the raffle, just in case you've forgotten!)

Only a few more days to purchase those raffle tickets!

Letter to the boys

The first letter I sent to the boys...

S & B,

We feel so blessed that you are joining our family! Our family members are Daddy, Mommy, Hunter, Graysen, and now, both of you!

Mommy will stay at home with both of you and your brother and sister everyday. I love playing and doing crafts! Mommy sometimes works at a Dance Studio, and you will get to spend that time with Daddy. Daddy works, but not everyday. Sometimes we get to have a family day and just spend time together. Daddy works at a very big place called Wal-Mart. He is also a basketball coach. He can’t wait for you to come see some of his games!

Hunter is 5 years old and your brother. He is super excited about getting big brothers! He has prayed for you for a year now and can not wait until you come home. He loves to play with toys and all kinds of sports. He especially loves soccer and football. He also loves to dance.

Graysen is 2 years old and your sister. She loves playing with baby dolls and her big brother. She goes to dance class one time a week.

The town we live in is called Saint James, we live in the state of Missouri, in the country of The United States of America. Both sets of your new grandparents live in Saint James as well. You will also have several aunts, uncles, and cousins that live here too. Mommy’s sister, your new Aunt Sissy is a hairdresser. We go visit her at the Beauty Shop a few times a week.

You will go to school next year with your brother Hunter. He is very excited about you all starting school together. You can play on soccer teams if you want to, Hunter played last year and had a lot of fun.

Your new Great Grandma lives right next door to us and is very excited about meeting you! She is 83 years old and we spend a lot of time with her.

Our house has 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a living room, and a kitchen. You will share a bedroom with Hunter and Graysen. Mommy and Daddy have a bedroom, and the other bedroom is filled with toys. We call it the playroom. We have a very big backyard with a swing set and a tree to climb in. You can see the top of the tree over our house in the picture we sent you.

We hope you enjoy the things in your bag. You can see a picture of us all wearing our bracelets like the ones that we made and sent to you. Maybe we can all wear them until we are together! The play men that we sent you are some of Hunter’s favorites. They are called Power Rangers. The shirts are from the basketball team that Daddy coaches.

We love you,

Mom and Dad

What are you hoping to win?

What kind of photo session are you hoping to win with Nikki Eads? Have you bought your raffle tickets yet?! The more you buy the better your chances are...

(Here are the details of the raffle just in case you've forgotten!)

Thank you, thank you, thank you for helping us finish raising the funds to bring our new sons home!

Get your tickets fast!

(photo of Graysen at 1 month by Nikki Eads)

The raffle for a photo session with Nikki Eads is coming to a close quickly!

Make sure you get your tickets now!!!

(Here are the details of the raffle in case you've forgotten, or just tuned in!)

To parents with children younger than mine:

Dear parents of young children,

I'm only giving this unsolicited advice because I think it truly is in your best interest.

Do not leave a 5 and 2 year old unattended. For any length of time. Under any circumstances. Period.

I've been working really hard at being a better housekeeper. I've been more diligent about letting my kids play by themselves while I do laundry, dusting, vacuuming, dishes, etc. I involve them whenever possible, but when not, I try to give them "jobs" to do to keep them busy (and out of my hair). I started the day with Clorox wipes and a scavenger hunt to find and clean all the light switches and door knobs in the house...that was a success.

Do not try to sucker your kids into helping you clean because you're behind, unless you are standing over them (and the cleaning supplies). Even if you make a game out of it.

Today I gave Hunter and Graysen the task of cleaning the glass door to our entertainment center.

Yes, I entrusted my 5 year old with the glass cleaner, and my 2 year old with a roll of paper towels. What was I thinking? I don't know. I was on the phone with my cousin, baking banana bread, cooking Spinach Artichoke Dip, and doing the dishes...all at the same time. Stupid. Go ahead and say it.

When I realized it was taking them a bit longer than it should have I came in the living room to see about 1/4 inch of Windex standing in the window seal, the lamp shade ripped off the lamp (literally torn) and soaking wet, and my son having a melt down because the TV wouldn't turn on. Wow. I guess they got a little overzealous and wanted to also clean the window, lamp shade, and TV.

So...I now have a lamp in the living room with no lamp shade and a TV that wont' turn on...because it's drenched with Windex. Hopefully it will dry out and work just fine...but no such luck as of yet!

Another sneak peak

Here are the most recent pictures Nikki took for me! They are Graysen's 2nd Birthday pictures...

(She might kill me because none of these are edited...but I think they're beautiful before, so just imagine what they would be like after!!!)

Just think...you could WIN a FREE photo session with her! (Here are the details of the raffle)


Alright, here's another one of her shots...as if you needed more proof of what a wonderful photographer she is!

(Graysen at one month)

Remember to let me know how many raffle tickets you would like to purchase...

Thanks again for your support in helping to bring S & B home!!!

2 shirts left...

I have 2 Adult Medium Adoption Shirts left. I would like to sell them for 10.00 each. If anyone is interested, please let me know! First come, first serve!

Ashley

4

Happy 4th Birthday to my sweet Angel Claire.

Sweet baby girl,

Yes, I still think of you as a baby. I know, you're 4 years old now and probably wouldn't appreciate being called a baby if you were still living here with us. I imagine that you would be beautiful, smart, and very active, much like your brother Hunter.

A lot has changed since your last birthday. Last year I felt very sad, and lonely without you here. This year, although I am crying as I type this letter, I do feel much more at peace. Probably the best I've felt since Jesus took you to live with Him. People talk about you often, and that helps. I think as more time passes, the people around us will feel more comfortable talking about you and all of the beautiful things that your short life taught us. Talking about you helps. Seeing the pictures of you in my belly that hangs on the wall between your brother and sister's frames help. Keeping you a daily part of our lives helps.

Mommy is learning to live a full and happy life without you here. It was hard the first few years, but I'm learning...sometimes Mommies are the slowest learners! :0) As you know, we are adding two more brothers to our family soon! I know you will be excited about this. God has been holding them close, and I'm sure, has appointed you to be especially watchful of them until we can get them home. Thank you for that.

I bought new flowers for your headstone, which I know you care nothing about, but it makes Mommy and Daddy feel better when there are pretty flowers by your name! This year they are blue, purple and pink.

We will take 4 pink balloons and tie them on your headstone this morning and then we'll head to STL as a family to go to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate! We will celebrate you, our family, our love for each other, our commitment to each other even through hard times, and God, who is faithful, always. We'll have birthday cake tonight at Bible Study and celebrate you with some of our friends.

I love you sweet baby girl. I think of you every single day. I miss you every single day. What I wouldn't do to hold you just one more time...

It is only our time left here on Earth that separates us from you...until that day,
Love Always,
Mommy

My mantra is going to be...

"In chaos there lies opportunity"

I think I'll need to say this to myself several times a day after I double our children this spring /summer! Of course I can thank Dove Chocolate for the quote...come to think of it, I may need a few more of those as well...

____________________________________________________________________

Lessons from Claire #9:

You can do anything you set your mind to. It's true. You may feel totally incapable, physically and mentally to accomplish a task...but it's truly mind over matter. I was able to do dishes, care for my son, go back to work, cook dinner here and there. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't enjoyable (in fact it took a LONG time for enjoyment actually return to my life)...but it was possible.

I love my husband because:

He is committed to our marriage. He tells me almost daily that we are in this for the long haul. Divorce is not an option for us.

A Photo Raffle for a Great Cause!

(A sample from Graysen's 1 month pictures taken by Nikki)

Would you like a chance to win a photo session with a professional photographer from the Kansas City area?!

A great friend, and advocate for the orphan, has donated a photo session to be raffled off to help S & B come home!

All proceeds will be going toward our travel expenses (think 4 plane tickets, 2 visas for the boys, guest house lodging for 5 nights...).

Check out her website for more samples of her work:
Nikki Eads Photography

Prize includes:

• A 2 hour Family, Maternity, Baby Shoot, Senior Portraits - Whatever you want really!
  
• Free Sitting Session (a 150.00 value)
• Choice of your location (in the state of Missouri), day, and time
• Online Slide show (50.00 value)

We are selling raffle tickets for 10.00 each or 3 for 20.00.

Available for purchase:

• on this blog (please comment with # of tickets and mail check to 1100 Hwy 72, Rolla, Mo 65401)
• Through email (ashleyredburn@hotmail.com)
  
• STJ Middle School
• The Dance Studio
  

Drawing will be held on February 20th!

I can't wait to see YOUR pictures!

My God is powerful.

Today was awesome. Today I felt God's powerful presence.

As three women, three sisters in Christ, three best friends knelt before God, He was there. He was right there with us, covering each of our hands as we held them. He was listening, He was preparing to do great things. He caught the tears that were shed, He spoke our words to each other and to Him.

It's not often that I am able to be with two of my very best friends. With the hundreds of miles that separate us, and the 6 (soon to be 8) children that we have, it's hard for the three of us to get together...but let me tell you, when we are - something big is bound to happen!

Our time together was spent encouraging each other in God's Word and love. We were reminded that "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (1st Corinthians 13:4-8)

How different is that than what the world today tells us? When our friend or spouse wrongs us, are we kind? Are we not rude to them, not angered? Do we not keep any record of wrongs? Doubtful. The world tells us that we deserve better. We deserve to keep the record of wrongs and they deserve for it to be shoved in their face as often as possible.

The world tells us that we don't have to forgive...that it is weak to forgive. I have to argue with that. I think it's the strong, harder thing to do to forgive and forget. I would argue that it's much harder to show someone the love of Christ after they have wronged you than it is to follow the rules that society has set for us.

Oh how I adored my time with the girls. How I long for more. Every time I see them I crave more time with them. They are such an encouragement to me. They work hard every single day to become closer to Jesus Christ and to live a Godly life. They are trying to raise their children to know and love God. I know I can trust their counsel. They speak The Truth into my life, whether we are together or apart. I know I can call and have them pray for me right then and there, no matter what they are doing - because they know and believe that God is the Truth and the Light. How nice it is to be surrounded by women, mothers, and wives who seek God's way before their own way and aren't afraid to say it!

FFH is a band that we have all loved since HS. We used to sing their songs of praise together weekly...One day we'll do it again girls, until then...

It brings such joy to my heart to see other parents who praise the name of Jesus even through the loss of a child. God reveals Himself in ways that are special to individuals...because He is a personal God. He cares about each one of us individually, knows each one of us individually, and speaks to each one of us individually. If you'll let Him, He gives each of us what we need in this life. They are right, we are only separated by our time left here on Earth...I hope Claire and Elliot have met.

I will always love you

To my kids,

I will always love you. There is nothing you could ever do or say that will change that. You could move to the other side of the world, you could run away from home. You could tell me how much you hate me or choose a lifestyle that I don't agree with. It won't change the way my heart feels about you. It won't change the way I work everyday to show you that I love you.

Because love is an action word.

I love you means I will never leave you. I love you means I will never abandon you. I love you means I will continue to pray for you all the days of my life. I love you means I will work to earn your trust. I love you means I will make decisions based on what is in your best interest, not what is in mine. I love you means I will sacrifice for you. Sometimes my happiness for yours, sometimes my new jeans for yours. I love you means I will always have an open heart and mind when you share with me. I love you means I will share my heart and mind with you. I love you means I will do whatever possible to make you comfortable in my home - forever. I love you means I will support you in your dreams, even when they are not my dreams for you. I love you means that sometimes I will hurt in order to keep you from hurting.

I will make mistakes, but I will never stop loving you.

I will always love you,
Mom

____________________________________________________________________

Lessons from Claire #7:

Death doesn't have to be sad, it can be celebrated. We often like to think about how wonderful it is that Claire is with her Heavenly Father! We love that she got to skip all of the harshness of this world and go straight to the reward that we all wait for!

I love my husband because:

We are really good communicators. We work really hard at letting each other know how we are thinking and feeling. We are honestly interested in what the other has to say.

Welcome Bags

Here are pictures from the boys' welcome bags that we sent them!

Included:

• A Mickey Mouse photo book with 15 labeled pictures. I sent some of us, grandparents, aunts, great grandparents, the school they will attend, our house, and the kids doing fun activities. Since there are two boys were able to send 30 different pictures! It was hard to decide which ones would go in who's album...I just hope they are good sharers! :0)

• A blanket made by Marcinda. I got the fabric FOREVER ago when we thought we would be receiving a baby, but I think the boys will appreciate them still!

• 2 Hot wheels cars and a power ranger (picked out by Hunter from his personal toys).

• Several sheets of sports and smiley face stickers for them to share with their friends.

• 5 pieces of sidewalk chalk (again, I'm hoping they will share with their friends!)

• A disposable camera. I can not wait to see what they decide to take pictures of!

• A small silver cross that they can put in their pillow or in their pocket.

• Their bracelets that we made (and are wearing matching ones) are in there for them to put on each other.

• A card with Lincoln and I's voices recorded on them. We told them that we love them, miss them, and will be seeing them soon!

• A shirt I had made...you can see the front and back of them in each of the individual pictures...the front has an STJ picture and the back has "The Redburns" with a Dad, Mom, 3 sons (all the same size), and a smaller daughter. I'm so excited to get a picture with all of us wearing them!
• A letter from Lincoln and I, one from Hunter, and one from Grammie and Charlie. We can send them letters every 2 weeks and include stickers or pictures!
  

I hope the boys enjoy their bags. I hope they are able to study our faces, just like we have theirs and are able to pass some time playing with their new toys.



____________________________________________________________________

Lessons from Claire #6:

People grieve in very different ways. Lincoln and I handled the situation very, very differently and for awhile I was worried about our relationship. I needed someone with me at all times (although I didn't always want to talk or have them talking). Lincoln wanted to be left alone. He didn't say more than 5 words a day for 2 weeks, I swear. It was challenging, but taught me a lot about the grieving process and having empathy for others.

I love my husband because:

he makes the most awesome home made chicken and noodles EVER!

A good start to the day

...includes me and my kids, snuggled up on the couch with a blanket, watching some cartoons, drinking our chi tea lattes, and looking out the window at the snow.

Ahhh, I wish these days would last forever.

what is your perfect start to a day?

____________________________________________________________________

Lessons from Claire #5:

It's okay to miss someone so much it hurts, but still go on with your life. I used to think that if I ever lost a husband or child I would be debilitated for the rest of my life. For quite a while I felt very guilty anytime I smiled or laughed after she was gone. Losing her has taught me that I can enjoy my life after death...and it's okay!

I love my husband because:

He calls me during his first break from work every day. In front of all the guys...and tells me he loves me.

B Verse

Before we move on to our B Verse, here is Hunter quoting his A verse...not quite word for word, but he always remembers the jest of the verse, which I think is the most important thing at this age (well, and my age!).

Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved.
Acts 16:31

Hunter had a hard time deciding what to draw for this verse. Eventually he came up with the idea for this drawing:


It's a man thinking (the one with the dot on top of his head), a man in a hole, and then the man is out of the hole. Jesus saved him.


What a precious little boy. I praised him for his drawing and then explained another meaning of being saved. ;0)

Here is Hunter holding up his verse and his drawing. Gray needed to be in there, so she grabbed their Bible and joined in!
____________________________________________________________________

Lessons from Claire #4:

Memories are sometimes better left as just that...pictures and videos are not required to hold perfect, beautiful memories.

I love my husband because:

of the way he holds my hand. I don't like interlocking finger hand holding...and he never does!

An email from my Mother-in-law

Here is an email from my mother-in-law that I wanted to share with you all.

Hello everyone!!
We've shared with some of you already, but we are so excited to tell you that our son and his wife, Lincoln and Ashley are adopting twin boys from Ethiopia!! Son Hunter and daughter Graysen are thrilled to be getting two new brothers!!
As you can imagine, there is much to be done in not too many weeks. Ash is working furiously on more paperwork, they are getting needed shots to make the trip to get the boys, looking for another set of bunk beds AND a mini van... LOTS to do!!
To help offset cost of the trip, Ashley is putting together a cookbook to sell and raise funds. THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN!!!
We are asking that you send 1, 2 or 3 of your favorite recipes to include in the book. You may email them to me, or stick them in the mail: PO Box 522, St. James, MO 65559.
PLEASE do it soon, we don't have much time to get them typed and book-ready, get the books ordered, printed and then sold.
We certainly appreciate any and all help, and please be in prayer for the boys' adjustment as they meet and join their new family!!

God is so good!!!
With much love,
Marcinda Bixler Redburn

We are having the recipe books printed and are taking donations for them. We would love advance orders so that we have an idea of how many to print, but advance orders are not necessary. I will make sure to announce when they are printed in case you decide at a later time you'd like to order. I think they will make great gifts, as the recipes are coming from all around the world!

Thank you in advance for the support in bringing S & B home,
Lincoln and Ashley

_____________________________________________________________

Lessons from Claire #3:

Our marriage can handle a lot. If we can survive (and thrive) through the loss of a child, we can survive anything that comes our way!

I love my husband because:

He strives to be a man of integrity everywhere he goes...even when it's not the popular decision.

Have I mentioned

That I love our babysitter?

Seriously. I love her. And no, I'm just saying that because she's a fellow blogger...

She's great because:

Our house is always in the same condition or BETTER than when we left the house.

Our kids are well taken care of. She interacts with them one on one.

When asked, she has them ready for bed and most of the time IN BED! Amazing.

She reads Hunter his Bible stories, just like we do before bed.

I trust that she is a woman of God and would not let my kids do, say, see, or hear anything that we wouldn't.

So, we love you, and although we're difficult to work for (I know, you don't have to pretend we're not!), you are the best....

Thank you!

Love cures

"Love cures people both the ones who give and the ones who receive."

Are you willing to share a time when someone's love cured you...?

______________________________________________________________________

Lessons from Claire #2:

Love defies time, miles, and death. I am amazed to this day that I felt people's love from thousands of miles away. It was proven to me, for the first time in my life, that you can physically feel God's love for you. I definitely felt His loving arms wrapped around me, while I laid in bed for weeks before and after, while I held my daughter, and while I sat at the cemetery while she was buried.

I love my husband because:

He is willing to help with household chores. Sure, sometimes I have to ask, but none the less, he does not refuse to fold a load of laundry or empty the dishwasher! I am blessed.

My top 10 and 28

February holds two special dates for our family. One is Claire's birthday on February 10th. The other is Lincoln and I's wedding anniversary on the 28th. In honor of each of these days I am planning on posting the top 10 things I learned from Claire's birth and death and the top 28 things that I love about my husband and our marriage.

Lessons from Claire #1:

There are good, caring, nice people left in this world. It's easy to look around and see all the negativity, violence, and generally heartless people in today's world. Sometimes I have a very hard time seeing the good people...but they really are there. In a crisis, the good people come out of the woodwork and surround you with love, prayers, hugs, flowers, food, gifts, and support. I was amazed at all of the awesome people I came in contact with those first few months following Claire's birth. I even met one of my very best friends at that point...a kind email from a girl I went to HS with, but had never talked to.


I love my husband because:

He is very good about making sure that I have some time to myself. He can tell when I've had a hard day and is good about telling me to go take a nap, or a bath or sending me on errands by myself.