I try to talk about Claire and my miscarriage as much as possible because I'm tired of the "weirdness" that surrounds discussing someone's loss. It's time to mature as a human race. You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you get when someone tells you that they've lost a child? The one that makes you go "oh, geez, I shouldn't have mentioned that, or I shouldn't have said that, or what in the world do I say now?" Yeah, that one. I want it to disappear! I want families to be able to talk about their losses without feeling guilty because they've obviously made someone uncomfortable. I want to be able to talk about my other two children the same as I talk about my two here on earth without people feeling sorry for me. Don't feel sorry for me - or anyone else. I guarantee that they aren't feeling sorry for themselves.
I urge all of you (with or without children) to do whatever you can to help the children of the world. Children are NOT a right, they are a privilege, and one that should NEVER be taken for granted. Your children can be taken from you at any moment so try to enjoy every moment that you can with them. (Yes, I'm a mom, I know that there are always the not so enjoyable times).
When you're throwing up everyday during your pregnancy - remember those who can't get pregnant. When your child won't sleep through the night - remember the parents whose child died in their sleep last night. When your child is throwing a temper-tantrum in the middle of the store think about the parent who would do anything to have their child back to buy them that candy bar. I'm not saying let your kids run the household, I'm just saying that I think we need to stop and Thank God for what we have more often than we do.
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4 comments:
I agree, the "weirdness" should be gone! I am so happy we are able to openly talk about this together. I feel that our discussions and remembrance of Claire brought us close together to begin with. And the fact that you and Lincoln were physically here to support us when we went through our loss - and not awkwardly - was a true blessing for Travis and I.
We still talk about how privileged we feel that we were able to be there with you guys during that time...I think you're right, those two circumstances have brought our friendship to a level that many can't understand.
Ashley, I thought about this post for a long time. I have read the recommendations you suggested last summer.
I wanted to say that I completley agree with you when you say that there are other mothers or would be mothers who'd love to comfort the sick or dirty baby and feel sad when parents take that luxury for granted. I am def. one of those people who'd never argue with a spouse about child custody, put up with ill equipped baby sitters, or break doctor appointments for kids. I have a hard time understanding those who put their own needs above a child's needs.
I was interested to see what you thought about this post. Sometimes people who have had these losses view it very differently.
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