**Warning - this post is weighted heavily on the side of stay at home / part time working parents, offense may be taken by full time working parents...
I worked a little over 40 hours this past week. Although it was at The Dance Studio, a job that I am passionate about, and is very family friendly, it was still 40 hours of me working, away from our family and home. I was crabby, tired, and short with my family every time I was home and around them. I was not helpful around the house. I did no laundry, no dishes, no picking up of the living room. I wasn't home to put the kids to bed one night.
Lincoln told me at the end of the week how much he appreciated me taking care of the children. He was able to see how much work it is to be responsible for them every hour of every day. He was able to find out how much of a trick it can be to arrange for child care when you must be gone from them.
We came to the realization that although we may be poor, we're doing the right thing for our family. We feel as though we haven't talked in about a week - oh wait, that's because we haven't! If we both worked full time jobs we would have little to no time as a couple. Call me crazy, but could this be part of the blame for the rise of divorce in American families? Both parents work, so when they get home they are crabby, tired, and short. When they are home they feel the need to spend time with their children since they don't get any parent time during the week. If parents are working all week, and spending all evenings with their children, when is their time for each other? We are so blessed for me to stay home so that we don't feel guilty for taking a date night here and there in order to keep our marriage strong... Without our marriage, our family would forever be broken, and our children deserve better than that!
Needless to say, this week reaffirmed the fact that me staying at home is the right thing for our family. We could not function with two full time working parents.
We may be poor, but we're happy!!
5 comments:
When we had marriage counseling appointments, our pastor worried about both of us working full time and me being a full time grad student. He kept asking us what we would do for hobbies and to relax. We had no real hobbies in common to share... like I would prefer being with girlfriends, going to dinners out, planning vacations, or exercising. He would prefer going to visit family, hunting, fishing, napping, NOT shopping, etc. We didn't have a common hobby. I think we were so busy that first year that we didn't have a chance to enjoy together time, and I totally understood why our pastor told us that having a baby in the first year of marriage would be hard, but it would help us unite and have a co-hobby. I think it makes sense what he said tied into what you said. If both in a couple are so busy they cannot connect, because of jobs or kids, marriages aren't fun. And then families aren't fun.
I am really hoping I see your perspective this year with SAHM. Or perhaps work part time mom. or WAHM. :o) Thanks for the encouragement and different point of view than I naturally have!!!
You are not poor. You are rich beyond measure.
So very, very true Chrissy! :0)
You are so very, very blessed to be a "mostly" stay at home mom. I would give up every luxury that I could if it meant I could stay home with my babies and be a wife and mother all the time. But, it's not in the cards for us financially at this time. I'm praying someday it will be though. You are very lucky to have a husband that appreciates the value it brings to your family when you stay home. Go Lincoln!! And kudos to you for wanting to stay home. I'll never understand the mothers that are able to stay home and choose not to. They have no idea what they are missing. How is the Pampered Chef going?
We all know I have a hard time actually staying at home and enjoying my kids, but I just want to echo EVERYTHING you said about how hard it can be to work full time. When I did the long-term sub job last year, it turned our world upside down. Granted, I was at least just working 1 job instead of my 2 or 3 part time, but the house/kids/marriage all suffered.
And as for the poor/financial issues... when I was pregnant with Keaton, we just decided that if we didn't do it right then, we may never be able to give up my salary. We were just going through the budget, again, on Sunday, and we have cut out enough debt that we can pay EVERY bill out of Justin's salary! The only thing left for the $$ I make is buying our food. So, it can be done - it just takes some careful $$ management. Oh, and 2 years of living in poverty, lol. :)
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