Too Much For My Heart

I am preparing to let you in on a small view of what my newest sons are dealing with. Although their past is theirs, and only theirs, sometimes I think we, as Americans need to be reminded of the reality of life of those who live in 3rd world countries.

I was excited about blogging this morning. I was going to sit down and write about how happy I was! I was going to talk about how last night for the first time I felt whole, happy, and complete. As I sat outside watching my husband play baseball with my three sons and my daughter play with two of her cousins I was finally at peace. I felt like the dark heaviness that has been on my heart for so long was lifted.

We came inside, showered and headed back outside to catch fireflies. It was something on my summer "to do" list, and we were excited!

But...as I explained to Silas and Blake what they were supposed to do a story came out of the depths of their heart...

The bugs that we were supposed to be softly catching reminded them of the bug that flew in their friend's ear and killed him. Yes, one of my sons friends, died from a bug crawling in his ear. They very elaborately demonstrated and told me how they had a friend in Ethiopia. He wasn't much taller then they are. A bug crawled in both his ears and he died. Their Mom made injera for the whole community. Everyone from all the houses came and cried. They dug a hole in the ground and carried the dead boy on their shoulders to the grave. They laid him in the ground and covered him up with the dirt. They laid things on top of the grave and cried more.

This has been reality for them. For 6 years they saw things that we would never let our children see.

I just hugged them and told them how sorry I was that their friend died. What else does a mother do? I was grateful that they felt safe enough to open their hearts to me. It knocked me back into reality where I remembered that not all the world is carefree and watching their sons play baseball with their dad in the backyard. Some mothers are burying their sons because there is no medical care available...