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| Two sleeping babies. The best! |
I've entered a really hard stage of parenting...once again. Blake and Silas are working through some issues again. For our family, this means a LOT of boundary pushing, some outright defiance, and many hurtful words. We're in the middle of another power struggle with them, and I need Jesus more now in my parenting journey than I ever have. I want to "be Jesus" to these boys, to love them unconditionally as a mother should, to help them learn to trust, be productive citizens of the world, and most of all to point them to Jesus. I'll be perfectly honest and say that it's VERY difficult to do those things a lot of days recently. I'm basically exhausted every day, and feeling like our home is no fun to be in anymore. Anyone with older adopted children have any encouragement / suggestions for me?
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| Graysen playing Dr. with Daddy |
I'm preparing for a trip to Asheville, NC this upcoming weekend to do some Sole Hope work. I am so excited about this trip! I'm sure there will lots of late nights...although I don't know with one of us with a baby who doesn't sleep, and the other pregnant! Tons of awesome things about it:
- Time away to refresh
- Time with my sister (11.5 hours each way and the entire weekend)
- Possibly time with another fabulous friend if she's able to sneak away and join us
- Visiting the Sole Hope Headquarters for the first time
- First time to visit Asheville (which everyone says is fantastic)
- Participating in a 5k to benefit Sole Hope
- Time with Asher, a girl who I've come to love!
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| love. |
This post has been in my drafts for days, so I'm just going to go ahead and hit publish...
5 comments:
Glad you published - I have the following comments!
1) Love your hair like this.
2) I thought G was putting jumbo lipstick on Lincoln
3) Maybe remember you cannot BE Jesus, so that's less pressure on yourself if you aren't doing as well as you want. Maybe just tell them, "Your behavior is making me feel really upset right now. I love you, I really do. I want to show you a lot of love right now, but I think its hard for me because you are doing X. Can you talk to me about this?" Maybe using less God-speak and more Me-You relational speak will help. Just an idea... came from a gospel centered parenting book I am reading... actually, the author did NOT say it like this, I rephrased it from God-speak to what I would say in a classroom setting in case I needed to be compassionate, but not overtly Christian.
4) I hope you have a lot of fun on your trip to NC. Mostly, I hope you feel recharged as a person from a lot of restful sleep, from good company, and from the good you'll see Sole Hope doing!
Praying for you Ashley! I know the heart struggle when you are scared, but I am learning that if you walk out with shaky knees and say "Ok God" it is a much easier journey than if you sull up. Beth Moore is leading Nehamiah right now and I am loving following along with her...I am also going through 1000 gifts and she talked a lot about trust yesterday. I hope you are surrounded by such biblical encouragement and enjoy your time away and fresh perspective and just positive time to let God strengthen and encourage your heart. Know that you are the first face they ever saw of Jesus and through praying for them God will continue to put people in their path the bring their heart to Him, it isn't all on you, although I know at times wanting to know your children to know and love and see the Lord is so challenging and you feel almost defeated, just know you are setting an example to them by being patient with them, pulling them close and saying "I love you and I will never let go or give up on you",,,isnt that being the hands and feet? :). I went through something with Weston recently and I am rejoicing at how the Lord has used it to remind me to "trust" Him his perfect plan and how he uses EVERYTHING,, EVERYTHING to work together for HIS good and HIS plan for their life as well as yours!
Hugs to you friend, Hold fast you are being used and it is hard and painful, but oh so wonderful!
Lyss
PS loved ALL the pics
I hope you enjoy your time away to refresh!
I can not imagine the trials and inside crazy feelings of raising adopted children (I wonder if it is a bit the way that some moms tell me the difference in their biological children and their step children feelings)- but I know that my own children go through disrespectful times and have been saying things and acting ways that make me wonder how on earth they thought to act that way? Where it came from? We just have to be patient and try our best and do the best we know and trust that God will help us and guide us along...
Just catching up. I'll be praying for you in this time. Also, I don't know if I ever told you but I hosted a Sole Hope party with my bible study this spring because of your inspiration. We made 18 pairs and had a blast. You are doing good work even when you don't know it. I'm excited to hear about your journey!
Just read this and then I was reading in my Bible and found this encouragement for you:
1 Thess 3:11-13MSG
May God our Father himself and our Master Jesus clear the road to you! And may the Master pour on the love so it fills your lives and splashes over on everyone around you, just as it does from us to you. May you be infused with strength and purity, filled with confidence in the presence of God our Father when our Master Jesus arrives with all his followers.
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