Alright - usually I am the farthest thing from the typical "feminist". I believe that it is the woman's job to make her house a home for her husband and children. I believe it's the husband's job to make a living for his family (but the wives to learn to run her household within his salary.) I didn't even want to go to college because I always just wanted to be a stay-at-home wife and mother. (My Dad demanded that I go.) I would rather stay home and take care of the kids, cooking, and laundry then get a job any day (okay - MOST days). I am a baby-wearing, breast-feeding, apron-wearing, cookie-making kind of girl.
The following conversation with my sister made me stop and think though. (NOTE: the exact conversation is not exactly remembered...but this is the gist of it)
Kara: "Why do you only buy supreme frozen pizzas?"
Me: "Because that's what Lincoln likes"
Kara: "Why does it always have to be what Lincoln likes?"
Me: "Because I want to make him happy"
Kara: "What about making yourself happy sometimes?
"
Me: "Well, because he's my husband I do whatever I can to make him happy"
Kara: "You're ridiculous"
Me: "You have to pick your battles when you're married and the marriage seminar that we went to suggested that if it's not immoral, un-ethical, or no one is getting hurt to give into the wants of the other person."
Kara: "So what if you want cheese and he wants supreme - who wins then?"
Me: "obviously Lincoln"
Kara: "I'm SO not going to be like that"
True. I never thought I would be like that either. I never imagined myself being the kind of wife who bought the food her husband liked and sacrificed some of the foods that I like. I never thought I would make the sacrifices that I make everyday and don't even think about anymore.
I'll be honest, sometimes I wish I could become selfish again. Even for just a few days. I wish I eat whatever I want, sleep whenever I want, go wherever I want, when I want. I envy my sister and her girlfriends for being able to run up to Applebees at 9:00 for 1/2 price appetizers without giving anyone else a second thought. I envy the fact that she gets to sleep in and not worry about going to the late movie because she knows that her child might wake up for her first night time feeding before she gets home.
But...someday I'll be "there" again. Someday Lincoln and I won't have any kids in the house anymore and we'll be able to do all of those things.
Hopefully we won't be too tired to do them by then.
2 comments:
And hopefully by then he knows your preference for cheese pizza - or you buy 1 of each type of pizza and enjoy the leftovers!
Isn't that funny, and so true! I definately buy food according to Andy's tastes... no tomatoes, no seafood, apples instead of oranges... But on some things we split it down the middle, like when we buy sherbet. (half pint each of orange and rainbow, so we both get what we like!) And I always make an effort to buy his kind of wine at the wine store too, though my tastes are sometimes off, and I usually end up having to drink the kind I just KNEW he'd like! (not that that's such a hard life... :))
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