Life is not a fairy tale. Sure, boy and girl meet, they fall in love, they get married, and they have babies. I'm one of these people. From the outside, my life may look like a fairy tale. I started dating my husband my senior year of HS, he was my senior prom date. We got married, moved back to our home town, had a baby, bought a house, he works, I stay home. Sounds picture perfect right? At times, it is. At others, it's a nightmare. We had lots of major issues before we got to the marriage point. We had to work for our relationship. We had to fight for it. We had to overcome disapproving friends and family. We had to compromise on a lot of things. We had our break ups, we always decided it was better together than apart. We had our son first - it was great, we were in Heaven...until we were both sleep deprived and Hunter wouldn't lay down without crying. Until we couldn't go out with our friends doing something spectacularly fun for the first time because we had a responsibility to be home with our child. That's when reality sets in. When the bills come in and there isn't enough money to pay them all. When you have a child die. When you have to work such long hours that you don't even lay eyes on your child for 3 days because every time you're home they are sleeping...and the spouse at home has to deal with the child who bursts into tears because they see a picture of you and miss you. These are the real parts of life.
What brings me to this rampage you ask? I just watched the Notebook. Movies like that make me mad. I will do everything in my power to make sure Gray does not watch such silliness. It sets girls up with totally unrealistic expectations of love and life.
If you are the mother of a daughter - please make sure she knows that is NOT how real life is. I think it will save a lot of heartache.
6 comments:
I completely agree.
you guys are kind of downers today....
I guess I just knew those were pretend types of stories.. that they don't show the real life parts - the bills the fighting, the true hardships of life, the notebook was about love that endured all the way to the end........
I am always telling Travis that I want us to be honest about our relationship with our kids. I want them to know that marriage is work and not everything is smiles and sunshine. In the end, I want them to have something that is worth the struggle and worth the sacrifice - just like we think our marriage is (despite the lowest of lows).
That's right Joanna! My parents never argued in front of us girls, they were never separated or made the relationship look hard at all. I really had no idea how hard marriage can be! Although I don't think we'll "air our dirty laundry" in front of our kids, I hope to make sure they realize all of the hard work that it takes. That's it's not always fun, and that love isn't always a feeling - sometimes it's simply the fact that you made a commitment - and you need to honor it! I hope that, just like you said - they see our marriage as something worth the sacrifices and struggles that it took to maintain it! :0) By the way - I MISS YOU!
Sorry, Tina! :o) I guess my perspective comes from reading an article once about such things. Basically, when we as women watch soap operas, chick flicks, etc. - even though we know it's not real - we somehow have it in our heads that our men should be that way. Maybe it's subconsciously. But we think why can't my husband be that way, look that way, etc.
Josh's parents are both non-confrontational, so he NEVER saw conflict resolution. Yeah, let me tell you what it's like to live with someone like that when I'm the type who likes to talk about things! My parents never fought until Sonja and I were much older, so that was a bit traumatic when we never saw our parents fight and then wake up one day and they decide we're old enough? Hope I learned something from all of them...parents and in-laws.
Reminds me of Psalm 119:37: Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.
I think we do need to be careful what we watch, read, listen to, etc. This issue and closely related ones are discussed in this book I am reading, "Every Woman's Battle." I'm about half way through and I would already recommend it! It is mostly targeted toward married women.
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