Purity

**This post uses correct terminology, so  you may not want to leave it open if you have young readers in your home.  

When I use the word "date" in this post I am referring to a boy and girl who like each other spending time together outside of school.  This time could be spent with a group or by themselves.  Situations like parents dropping their kids off to meet the boy / group at the movie theater counts.

Workshop number 2 was called "Setting a Paradigm for Purity" and was given by Julie Hiramine.  When I saw this workshop on my schedule I was a little bummed.  Yes, I wanted to attend, but it was not near the top of my "top 10".  I thought it was going to be great information, but not relevant at this point in my life.  Let's face it, my oldest is 4.  There's not much relevance to staying pure in his life currently, right?  Wrong!  I probably walked away with more information from this workshop than any other (hence the SUPER long post!)

• Parents are the experts on their kids.  We know our kids better than anyone else.  We know their strengths and weaknesses.  God has appointed us to raise our children, no one else!

Four Key Areas to Setting a Paradigm for Purity

1.  Family Connectiveness - Do activities together, these could be devotions, meals, prayers, sending notes of encouragement, etc.  Just make sure that you stay close and involved with the family as a whole.  

2.  Have clear expectations - Your kids need to know what is expected of them at all times and in all situations.  But...Families that have 

all rules and no relationship = rebellious kids

all relationship and no rules = confused kids

3.  Positive Input - Make sure you are positive with your children.  Don't always just tell them "no".  Make sure there are opportunities for "yes" answers.

4.  Father's Involvement -  Father's must stay involved in their kids lives all the way through.  A study has shown that girls whose father is not involved in their daily lives are 250% more likely to be sexually active before marriage than those who have involved fathers.  Yikes!

• We must have a course charted on how we are going to help our kids stay pure until marriage.  This course must start YOUNG!
• The first message that your kids hear is the most important one...so make sure YOU are the one who gives it to them.  This means you might need to talk to them younger than you'd like to.  

The workshop was broken down into age groups.  Most of the information was divided up into girl / boy sections as well, but it was clear that any of the information could be used for both boys and girls.  

Pre-School - 2nd Grade (ages 4-8)

• Body image.  This is something that is controversial in our world today, but this speaker thought that it was very important that we, as parents, affirm our children's body image.  This can be done by saying things like "You look so handsome / pretty today", "I love your brown hair", "It's awesome that you're so tall!", etc.  
• Affirm their gender.  It's very important that they know that God made them a boy or a girl for a reason and that they need to embrace it and be proud of it.  You can do this by saying things such as, "Isn't it cool that God made you a boy and you love to play in the dirt?"  "I love that you are a girl and you love to play dolls."  
• How are boys and girls different?  We need to discuss with our children how boys and girls are made differently.  Usually this happens when you're changing the diaper of another gender in front of the other.  It could happen when you're getting dressed in the morning or getting in or out of the shower.  This is a topic that has always been very open in our home since we are not very modest about being undressed in front of one another.  It was also an easy one since Hunter was old enough to notice when Graysen was born.  
• Use correct terminology.  This is one I'm a firm believer in.  Some of you that don't use it may be offended by this, but I've just never understood why a "pee pee" sounds any better than a penis. If we used correct words they wouldn't sound "weird, or dirty"' anymore!!  They only sound that way because we MAKE them sound that way!  
• You and your husband must be on the same page about your kids future dating and relationships.  It is suggested that you and your husband sit down and come up with the rules and expectations for the future even at this age.  

-  At what age are your children going to be allowed to date in groups?

-  At what age are your children going to be allowed to date by themselves?

-  Are they going to be allowed to go out or will they spend time with their boy / 

girlfriend at your home?

• Courtship is an idea.  Yes, it's old fashioned, but there is something to be said for waiting on God to write your love story rather than trying to write it yourself.  
• What are you going to teach your children about what is physically acceptable and what is not?  Why not aim high and ask them to save their first kiss?  If they blow giving away their first kiss before their wedding there are a lot fewer repercussions than if you say "don't have sex before you're married".  If they blow that, there are major repercussions.  
• Point out all sexual acts on TV and in books.  If there is a couple kissing on TV ask your child - are they married?  Should they be kissing if they aren't?  Would God be happy about that?  Does it line up with God's word about keeping our bodies pure?  Never ignore it and hope that they do the same...because they won't!  If you don't discuss it they will think that it's totally acceptable.  (Side note:  I started this as soon as I got home with Hunter and when there was a couple kissing on The Suite Life, his response to me was that if two people really love each other they can do that.  I explained to him that it was only for Mommies and Daddies and their kids.  Yikes...I already have some work to do!)
• You should be explaining where babies come from at this age.  I'm not sure if I agree with this one completely.  I do believe you should be honest with your children about how babies are BORN (I explained this to Hunter and let him watch A Baby Story with me when I was pregnant with Graysen).  I'm not sure I'm going to discuss with him how babies are MADE though.  
• You need to start teaching your children that no one except Mommy and Daddy should touch them anywhere that their swim suit covers.  We did this one a few years ago and Hunter is very good about understanding privacy now.  

3rd - 4th Grade (ages 9-10)

Girls:

• Continue affirming body image as you started at age 4
• Modesty.  Now is the time to really instill this in your children.  You need to be consistant in your expectations and standards.  If you are not going to let them out of the house in a 2 piece swim suit at age 15 (after they have "blossomed"), then you should not let them out of the house at this age wearing it.  This is something that I totally agree with and was very glad to hear someone else reaffirm for me.  I did not let Graysen wear a bikini last summer - she will never be allowed to.  She did have a swim shirt and bottoms, but nothing that is exposing her stomach.  
• This is the age that you need to discuss a woman's development and her period with her.  Did you know that girls today are likely to start their periods 2 years earlier than their moms did?!   (Some studies are blaming this on the excess of hormones that we take in in our food...I'm going to be doing some more research on this topic!)  
• Fathers need to make sure they are continuing to hug, love, and kiss on their daughters as much now as they always have.  Many times girls who are missing those physical touches from their fathers will go elsewhere to find them (subconsciously of course...)

Boys:

• Affirm body image
• Teach modesty
• Manners.  This is a huge one for boys.  Boys need to learn to respect women.  I believe it starts earlier than this age, but this is probably the stage where you can really drill it into them.  Mothers, take your sons on dates and teach them how to treat a woman.  Teach him to open your car door, pull your chair out, make conversation.
• Ungodly behavior.  Boys need to learn (more than girls) to tap into their conscious.  Make him accountable for his behavior and ask him if it is Godly, or UnGodly behavior.  

Both:

• Know their friends.  This is age where kids like to start going over to each other's homes to play without their parents.  It is imperative that you know their friends and their parents.  Be assured that your rules will be followed at their homes.  Know what kind of television your child will be exposed to and what websites their friends are allowed on.  
  
• Media Discernment - we control how much media we let into our homes.  No, we can't control what magazine is at the check out stand, but we can cover our children's eyes.  Be conscious about inappropriate commercials during sporting events (the highest percentage of alcohol commercials).
• Talk about advertising with your children.  Ask your daughter, if you wear that perfume will you be as pretty as that girl?  Ask your son, does that beautiful woman come with that sports car?!

5th - 6th grade (ages 11-12)

• Build Convictions - at this point parents should be spending lots of time with their children helping them set their values.  They need to decide what they believe and what their values are going to be.  They need to understand why they are making these choices (and not because Mom and Dad told them to!).  
• Parents need to getting to know the people that their children are spending most of their time with.  (At this age kids are getting involved with so many more activities that they tend to spend a lot more time away from home.)  Get to know their friends, their friends' parents, their Youth Ministers, and Coaches.  

"The Talk"

• This is the general age when you need to sit down and have "The Talk" with them.  
• There is no magic age, therefore this talk may come sooner or later than this age group.  (Just remember to make sure you're the first one they hear it from!)
• When your kids ask questions make sure you know what they are asking.  Remember there are lots of definitions of several English words, so never assume they know more than they do!
• The speaker suggested that Mom's take daughters on a weekend getaway and Father's do the same with sons.  The fact that you are taking time away to spend with ONLY that child (leaving siblings, other parent at home) tells them that this is a very important topic!  During the weekend you can listen to the CD set that is listed below in the resource list and have lots of discussions.  Make sure to understand that some kids will sit quietly and listen, some will not want to listen at all, and others will have tons of questions.  The speaker also suggested that at the end of the weekend the other parent meets you for a special dinner where you can present your child with a purity ring or just have a discussion about everything all together.  

Some Stats:

• 91% of girls who date @ age 12 have sex before they are out of High School
• @ age 13 = 56%
• @ age 14 = 53%
• @ age 15 = 40%
• @ age 16 = 20%

Resource List:

I have not read any of these books, they were all recommended by the speaker!

• Princess and the Kiss by Jennie Bishop - a good book to read to girls starting at the beginning
• Squire and the Scroll  - a good book to read to boys starting at the beginning
• The Wonderful Ways Babies Are Made - starting at age 4
• The Swimsuit Lesson - starting at age 4
• Beautifully Made - for girls, a set of 3 books, good for ages 8 and up
• Lentball Leo's Not So Stupid Questions - for boys, ages 10-13
• Passport to Purity - great for your weekend away and "The Talk" (I understand it's a CD set or something like that)

The Love You've Longed For

As I write these "over views" of my past weekend I am going to always name the speaker...but, some of the info here are the literal words of the speaker, some are paraphrased, some are concepts that I realized as I was listening to them speak on the general topic.  Some verses will have been provided by the speaker, some are verses that I love that I feel directly relate to the topic.  So...basically I'm just asking that none of you quote the speaker on the information that you don't agree with, because it may be my thoughts or words, not theirs. 

The first hour-long workshop that I attended at the Hearts at Home Conference was entitled "Come Closer to the Love You've Longed For".  The speaker was Jane Rubietta.  Here are my notes and after thoughts:

• We, as a people, always seem to want everything to be more, better, or different.  True, we were created perfect, and since Adam and Eve were banned from Eden we haven't lost that longing to return to the perfect life.
• Proverbs 19:22
• Unfailing love can only come from God.  Everyone on earth falls short of perfect and we can not count of them loving us perfectly.  
• John 10:10
• When God makes a promise He will keep it.  So - if He has promised that we can have life abundantly there must be a way to live that life.  I don't know about you, but I often feel like I am just going through the everyday motions, I wouldn't usually use the word "abundant" to describe my life!
• Most know the second half of John 10:10 (I like the version that says "I have come so that they may have life and have it abundantly").  Some may not know the first half that tells of the thief that will come to steal, lie, and destroy.
• So, how are we going to live our lives abundantly?
• Step 1:  Take inventory of your life.  We need to make a list of what The Thief has already stolen from us.  We need to know what we're missing that's keeping us from living life abundantly.  Maybe it's your childhood, maybe it's your smile, maybe it's your ability to have children, it's going to be different for everyone.  (The speaker recommended that we literally write this list out.)
• Step 2:  Take a stand against The Thief.  At your home we do this by locking doors, not leaving windows open, etc.  In order to do this we need to ask ourselves a very hard question:  How are you in cahoots with The Thief?  Most people do not want to admit that they are allowing The Thief into their hearts and home, but the fact is that we can always take a stand against him and we often don't even realize that we're allowing him to steal things from us.  You wouldn't leave your front door open at your house with a sign above the door that says, "Come on in, lots of great things to steal" would you?  Then don't do it with your heart!  Some simple ways that we may be in cahoots with The Thief are not getting enough sleep (therefore being cranky with those around you), not eating a good diet (and not taking care of the body God gave you), refusing to deal with things from your past, wearing "rose colored" glasses, and wasting your time.
• Step 3:  Cling to what you know to be true. I came up with three truths that I know.  1.  I know that God is Holy.  2.  I know that God's grace is always going to be sufficient for me.  3.  I know that God will never leave my side.  
• Step 4:  Create space for God to act.  We need to make sure we're aware at all times of what we're doing and how we're either inviting or limiting God's interaction in our lives.  When asked how to do this when we feel far from God or completely overwhelmed with our lives, the speaker made suggested things like simply stopping and taking deep breaths.  She said to think of it as breathing out all of the sickness, sin, etc. from your life and breathing in God's love.  She also suggested that you find what inspires you, if it's a sunset make an effort to go watch a sunset by yourself and spend some time in prayer.  When invited, God will always come.
• Step 5:  Call out to your friends.  We all need to find friends or family that will love us and be willing to tell us that hard things in life.  God knew that healing happens best in community.  We need people who are trust worthy to let us know when we're out of line, when we're in cahoots with The Thief, and when we need to change our thought process or behavior.  This is a hard thing to find, but I believe that if you pray and ask God to send those people into your life, He will...now you just have to be open to Him and them.  

The Leprechaun came to visit!!

Hunter fashioned this "Leprechaun Trap" last night and set it up on the kitchen table in case a leprechaun decided to visit our home!  He read about this idea in a magazine and has demanded that we do it ever since!

Leprechaun feet leading up to the trap...

Not the best picture of the trap, but you can see the hole in the top of this one.  Hunter showed us how big he thought a Leprechaun was and Daddy cut the hole that big!

The note that sneaky Leprechaun left!

He even turned Hunter's morning glass of milk green!  That silly guy...

** I did not "celebrate" St. Pat's growing up.  We wore green (as not to get pinched), but that was the extent of it.  Although I would prefer not to go all out for this holiday, I just couldn't let Hunter down, if it's important to him, it's important to me!  :0)

5 Mothering Truths

The first main session at the Hearts at Home Conference was given by Jill Savage, the founder of Hearts at Home.  Jill encouraged us to remember that we are all real people.  We all have real lives, and real stories.  Here are the five things that she believes are true of all mothers.

1.  You are not alone.  We all need others.  We, as women, and more importantly as mothers need friends.  We need friends who are also moms, friends who are not mothers, friends who are married, friends who are single, friends who are all ages.  We need to draw on all of those women and let them help us to be the best that we can be.  We need their stories.  

2.  We have 3 kinds of stories that we need to share.

• Heartwarming - those stories where our kids were just so adorable, where they said I love you for the first time, etc.
• Humerous - those stories where you are STILL laughing at what you did or said last week.
• Hard - those stories that we don't want to share.  The ones that make us feel less than perfect. 
  

We need to stop judging each other.  We need to stick together as mothers and be able to share our stories without fear that we will be judged.  

3.  We need to share our hard stories because they help other moms know they are normal.  We need to know that we are not alone in what we face everyday.  Others have not so perfect kids, not so perfect houses, not so perfect marriages, and not so perfect lives...but it's okay!

4.  We are real moms, and we need a real relationship with a real Jesus.  Think of how much easier it would be if you believed that Jesus was in your everyday life with you; if you believed that He could relate to your everyday activities and struggles.  Think about it...

• He had large crowds follow him everywhere he went.  Don't you?!  I know I have a trail of little ducklings following me every time I walk into another room!
• People wanted to touch him.  I don't know about you, but there is a rare minute during the day when someone is not holding my hand, hugging me, kissing me, getting a piggy back ride, sitting on my lap or hip, etc.  (in fact, as I type Hunter has his hand on my left hand and his head on my shoulder.)
• People woke Jesus from his sleep for help.  I can't even begin to count the number of times I've been woken in the night be a crying baby or a yell for water, a snack, a movie, or security from a bad dream.
• He was a servant to others.  He served in any way he could, including washing others feet.  I KNOW He can relate to me on this point - what job is more a servant's job than a mother?!

5.  Your story isn't finished yet.  Today is the first day of the rest of your story!  Some of us have made mistakes in the past.  It's okay because our story isn't over!  Jesus is all about fresh starts!  When others blow it we forgive them don't we?  When our kids misbehave, we tell them that we love them and continue on with the day.  When our husbands blow it we are responsible for working it out, forgiving them, and continuing to move forward.  Who does that for us?  Jesus!  

Hearts at Home

I was blessed to attend the Hearts at Home National Conference this past weekend at the University of Illinois.  Ten of the women from my MOPS group made the 4.5 - 5 hour trip on Friday afternoon and enjoyed lots of bonding, learning, laughing, crying, praying, and encouragement over the 24 hours that we were there.  

I had never heard of Hearts at Home until the conference was offered to us at MOPS.  I signed up hoping to get to know some of the women in our group a bit better and get some parenting tips.  Little did I know that I was about to embark on a spiritual journey that I truly believe will change my life.  Hearts at Home is a completely Christian based program that encourages the hearts of mothers in their Christian walk, mothering adventures, and marriage relationships.  

This year's theme was "Real Moms, Real lives, Real stories".  We were surrounded by 4,500 other real moms who all had special stories, special lives, and special children.  We were blessed with the entertainment and knowledge of:

• Jill Savage (the founder) 
• Kevin Leman (one of my FAVORITE Christian authors)
• Sally Baucke (a hilarious woman and one of my new favorites)
• Bill and Pam Farrel (great authors and very realistic parents and marriage partners), 
• 4ever (a mother / daughter worship group) and 
• Go Fish (an terrific kids music group)

I attended 3 Main Sessions, and 4 workshops and walked away with so much new information! I heard things this weekend that I had never had anyone say to me before.  I am now able to view some aspects of my life in a whole new light.  I am going to start a series the next few days and give an over view of each of the workshops that I attended.  I hope that maybe some of the information will help you as well!  

...but I won't do THAT!

In the words of the singer Meatloaf, " I would do anything for love, but I won't do that."  What is "that" to you?

• Commit Murder
• Abandon my children
• Lose my identity as the woman God made me to be
• Change my belief system or faith

Our Children Will Do It Differently

I hope that our children will do some things differently then we've done.

I hope that our children will not feel pressured to go to college and obtain a 4 year degree.  We will encourage them to continue their education past high school, but a technical college or apprenticeship will be great!

I hope that our children will take the time to find something to study that they both love and that will be useful in their future.  I started with education, but soon realized that was not the field for me.  I switched to Dance and loved every minute of it...but let's face it...it's not doing me much good in the financial department now!  

If they do decide to go to college, Lincoln and I will help them learn and understand about college loans.  We will not send them away with no counseling on what loans are the smart ones to take out.  

I hope our kids will not allow themselves to be taken advantage of and walked on in High School relationships. 

I hope our kids will not ever use a credit card.  

I hope our kids will realize that it's okay to drive used cars and live in small homes until you're old enough to actually afford them (and that doesn't mean you can just make the monthly payment).

Confessions

• I can let Graysen cry for 10 minutes at bedtime before it starts bothering me. (although she RARELY does)

• I eat at least 2 pieces of chocolate every day.

• I don't drink nearly enough water - maybe a glass every other day.  
• I'm very anxious about baby sitting ending.  I am feeling a lot of pressure to schedule activities for my kids so that they will continue to interact with other children.  The whole point to me quitting is so that I can expose my kids to the world rather than one house or facility before they start Kindergarten.  I want to do things like story hour, maybe a class at the zone, crafts at home, nature walks, etc.  I want to make sure I keep a routine for the kids, make sure we get up and dressed, meals, naps, etc.  I don't want to be the family that stays in their PJ's and snacks all day long.  I'm also a little stressed about the change in budget come May.  It's going to be a new lifestyle for us.  We need prayer that we will all adjust easily.  I'm not going to be able to pick up the "extras" at Walmart every trip, Hunter isn't going to be able to get a Happy Meal whenever he asks for it.  
• Recital is coming up so soon!  I only have 3 more class periods to teach dances!  There is so much to do to prepare (costumes, program, room mom stuff, etc.)!
• I really need to start an exercise program.  We can't afford to go to a gym, and I find it really hard to motivate myself.  I'm so busy during the day, and by the time the kids go to bed at night, I'm exhausted!  I sure don't want to do my exercising at 9:00 at night!  I was doing really well at losing the baby weight, but in the last 3 months I have put on 10 lbs...NOT GOOD!  I wish there was an easy solution to this!  

Oh the Places We'll Go

Oh The Places We'll Go Together...

I can't think of any 3 other people I would want by my side through thick and thin.  I am blessed.

My Store

If I owned a store, it would be a book store.  

One of those cozy bookstores that have couches and overstuffed chairs that you are encouraged to use while browsing before purchasing.  

I would want old bookshelves - all different with unique designs.  

I would want a small coffee stand with a few pastries for sale located in the corner.  

I would want to hand write tickets when people checked out.  

I would want to take orders from people when I didn't carry a book they were searching for.  

I would want to create relationships with my customers and call them when I got a new book in I thought they might enjoy.    

I would want to hand deliver books to the elderly or the mom's who couldn't get out of the house to pick it up during store hours.

I would want a children's section with fun mats for them to sit on and a weekly story hour where I got to read to them.

I would want a used book section where people were welcome to trade rather than just sell.

If you owned a store, what would it sell?

I believe...

That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.  Luckily I have God to forgive me of my sins and make me whole again!

That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.  I believe that who I want to be is an ever changing picture, and therefore becoming that person will be an on-going project.

That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but it doesn't give me the right to be cruel or hateful or rude.

That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.  There is a time when you must step up from your childhood and become the adult you want to be.

That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.  It could change your life forever.

That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

**A friend sent me a forward a few nights ago and these were a few of the things on there.  I expanded on some of them and left others alone.  I'm so glad that there are other people out there who can put some of my beliefs into words, because I'm not always the best at it!  

A picture is worth 1,000 words

When I look at this picture I feel so blessed to have a husband who loves our kids the way he does.  He inspires me to be a better mother every day.  These moments are not rare around our house.  We are a home that is full of love.  We have agreed that it is a priority for us to tell our kids as many times a day as possible how much we love them.  We hold hands, cuddle, hug, and kiss our kids a million times a day.  Of course there are the moments when I wish I could go 5 minutes without someone sitting on my lap, hugging on me, or wanting me to carry them around - but in those moments I am reminded of the months when we longed for another child in our home to love on.  Lincoln has told me time and time again that he will always make a special effort to tell and SHOW his kids how much he loves them by using their love language, whatever that turns out to be.  If it's a hug and high five, great.  It may be a special gift, a "great job!", or attendance at events.  Whatever it is, we're committed to doing it!  I think far too many men have a 'hang up' with expressing love for their children.  I hope that this generation of boys will change that.   

Fun Friday with Miss Kim!

My friend Kim is such an encouragement to me.  She is constantly making me smile, laugh, and reminding me that the most important thing is not how clean my house is, but that I am having fun and making memories with my husband and kids.  She has instituted "Fun Friday" with her daughter, and was kind enough to include myself and the kids in her first one!  :0)  Here are some pictures to commemorate it!

Hunter and Graysen are truly at a stage in their lives where they enjoy playing together.  Finally Hunter isn't complaining about his sister "ruining" his game, and she isn't whining every time she gets knocked down.  It's what my heart has always desired - to see my kids loving each other and interacting with kindness.  Here he is pushing her on in the swing.

Miss Kim brought a kite over for Hunter to fly!  He had only done it once before and it had been a year, so it was basically a new experience for him!  He was (amazingly) a very good kite flyer and was extremely proud of himself for doing such a great job!

I really love it when people will pose for pictures for me...and Kim is great!  :0)  She decided to give her hand at flying the kite after Hunter was done, and this was the result.  Her quote?  "How does a 4 year old manage to fly it fine and I get it stuck in the tree?!"  (She did get it down without ruining it!  Good job!)

I know, you are all beginning to think all I do is feed my kids cake and mud, but it's really just a matter of the fact that they are so much cuter when they are messy!  :0)  Yummy!

Thanks for taking our picture Kim - we had a great day with you!!

This picture is to remember my "future flash" from that day.  Graysen was running in the yard, she looked so pretty, and the wind was blowing her hair.  She turned around and smiled at me and said "Ma Ma!"  Before my eyes she transformed into a gorgeous young lady wearing a white wedding gown.  It literally brought me to tears.  I am not good with my kids growing up.  I look at the relationship I have with my mom now and realize that it's going to be great at every stage, but they are not always going to be the same as they are now...and that breaks my heart.  

Some other memories that we didn't get pictures of are:

• Graysen throwing Bailee's bottle, a toy cell phone, and Kara's hair color out on the road on our trip to the Beauty Shop.
• Hunter seeing a dead squirrel on the bike ride to the shop and then telling everyone that was the highlight of his day...only a 4 year old little boy!  LOL
• Me learning the trick that when Graysen is throwing a fit while putting her in the car seat all I have to say is "Gray, are you hungry?"  which is always answered with a yes nod, me continuing on to say that we're going to get some food and her immediately calming down and sitting back in her seat.  Oh...what a girl!  (I wonder how long that will work...)

Our First Spring Day Adventures!

I can't believe I'm posting this picture of me on here, but we so rarely get a picture of the 4 of us that I had to record it! 

The kids found a treasure...

New growth!  Yea!

Brother had to show Graysen the awesome tree climbing!  She liked it...for about 1 minute. 

"Hunter, did Graysen eat some mud?

"no way mom!"

:0)

We found our first worm of the year!  We found three of them actually and put them in a box.  Hunter then told us that we needed to find some place for them to live.  I suggested back in the ground and he replied with, "uh, I know...the water!"  "I don't think worms live in the water Hunter", I said...his response?  "oh I know mom - but they sure are good for fishing!"  He is DYING to go fishing already this year and gets a reminder in any way he can!  :0)
 

Thursday was a great spring day outside...it was so nice to get out of the house and into God's nature.  Graysen LOVES being outside and throws a huge fit every time she has to come in.  Although I'm thankful for that, it might lead to a long summer...

Mr. Clean Eraser

Who else knew about these and didn't tell me?!

You're all in trouble!!!!!

A few days ago I called a girlfriend who was at Wal-Mart.  I was a little concerned because Gray had just climbed onto the table (yes, again...) and scribbled all over it with a green marker.  I scrubbed and scrubbed, but couldn't get it off!  She told me she would bring me something home to take it off.  In she walked with Mr. Clean Magic Erasers!  Right before my eyes it did take it off!  

Then it took off scum in my sink, on my oven door handle, on my front door, on my window seal, and my blinds!  These things are AMAZING!  

I was so thrilled with them that we immediately left to go to Sams so I could buy a BIG pack of them...and we're ready for Spring Cleaning!  :0)

**New uses since this post was written:

• Last year's Old Navy Flip Flops (I haven't gotten there yet to buy this year's supply!)
• Tiles on the kitchen floor (thanks Kim!)
• Ink pen on the kitchen table

The Last Great Race

The Iditarod officially started today!  It has been a few years since I have really followed it, but I fully intend to this year!  Hunter is old enough to understand the race and follow it with me!  I can't wait to read Zuma's Paw Prints with him every day and show him race footage (from when we lived there)!  I'm cheering for Dee Dee Jonrowe again this year of course...

Poop Pa

Apparently this is the name of choice for Charlie after he officially becomes part of the family!  I wish more than anything that I could record on here Hunter's voice inflection when he says it.  Mom, Charlie, and I sat around and laughed at him for a good 15 minutes while he just ran around the living room saying it over and over again!  I have to admit, the name suits their relationship perfectly, although I'm hoping to come up with a more "appropriate" name for public use...something like "Grandpa" would fit nicely...but, as Hunter said tonight, "You're never going to get that name out of my head!"  :0)

This Year I Want To...

write 2 letters.  There are two people that I would like to tell how much their footprint on my life means to me.  One was a high school teacher, another an ultrasound technician.  I did not realize at the time what each of them would mean to me years later, but I can't get either of them out of my mind and I take that to mean that God would like me to let them know!  I'm not currently in contact with either, so I suppose I will just mail these letters.  I'm not sure if either will remember who I am, but that's not the important part.  What I hope to accomplish is to let them know that they are wonderful at their occupation and to encourage them to continue doing an excellent job every day.  I'll let you know when I get them off...

My family rocks!

We love Rock Band!  Lucky for us Charlie has it at his house, so we have the privilege of playing almost any time we want, but don't have to house the instruments at our house!  

some random facts I've learned about myself recently

• I want a "note to self" recorder because there are so many times I want to remember something to blog about that I know I'll forget by the time I get the chance to sit down at the computer.


• I love going to Subway because there are so many opportunities to say "please" and "thank you" as they make your sandwhich.
  


• I usually enjoy seeing parents of friends from HS and listening to them tell me about their child's life since I knew them. I like to hear the story from a parent's point of view.


• I find that I am always the unborn baby's advocate above the mom's.


• I believe I am a very different mom to Graysen then I was to Hunter at this stage.


• I think it's udderly rediculous that MS students are allowed in the hallways a full 35 minutes before the first bell rings. There is NO reason they need that much time to linger and socialize before going to class.


• I think it is MUCH harder to be a parent the older the child gets - I'd take sleepless nights and crying over a disobidient child ANY DAY!


• It is a pet peeve of mine for people to eat Dove Chocolates and not read the message in the wrapper...seriously...I get mad about it.


• I get baby fever all the time. All I have to do is see a pregnant person, see an ultrasound picture, or hear a baby name I like. It's bad.


• I am determined to teach my children how to respect their teacher's classrooms when they go to school. (Pushing in their chair when they get up, helping to pick up paper off the floor, saying please and thank you, not talking out of turn, etc.)


• I think it should be a crime for anything to be scheduled on a Saturday before noon.

• I would rather have a few really good friends then lots of people who I THINK are friends.
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Big Girl Hair!

I love my kids being babies.  I know, I'm opposite some others of you, but I adore the pregnancy, infant, baby stage...until 3 are my favorite years!  I like to keep them babies as long as possible, and part of that is appearance.  As long as they look like a baby they are, right?!  ;0)  Here is Graysen's first day of "Big Girl" Hair.  I'm sad about it, but she's SO adorable I can't help but be "proud" of her!  

Quiet doesn't always equal bad...sometimes, just yummy!

This morning it was just Graysen and I awake.  I was folding laundry in the living room and she was in the kitchen.  She usually comes in the kitchen and pushes her baby stroller or plays in the "kids" drawer.  This morning, she was unusually quiet...this is what I found!  :0)

I know, some of you will disagree with me allowing her to continue to eat it, but I figured she would have it at some point during the day, why does it matter in what order we eat our food - just as long as we get it all right?!  :0)  

(And yes - Hunter ate cake for breakfast as well!)

Praise and Worship

The other night I was blessed to have an experience I have never had before.  11 other people and I spent 1.5 hours in a dark sanctuary with worship music blaring.  We all spread out across the church and were able to worship in our own way.  It was an awesome experience where I truly felt God.  I raised my hands, I danced, I sang, I kneeled, I smiled, I cried.  It was perfect for me.  I love worshiping through song.  I didn't know all of the songs, but would love a copy of the playlist (hint, hint blog stalker who never leaves comments...).  I walked out feeling refreshed and revitalized.  

I can't wait to do it again.  Soon Please!   

My Child "Do Withouts"!

Here are a list of items that I think are either utterly ridiculous (sorry if you use them!), or I've tried and feel like they were worthless.

• Itzbeen Baby Care Timer - Okay, so I will say that the reminder as to what side you nursed on last might be helpful (but if you really can't tell by the feeling in your breasts a safety pin will work...).  I can also say that this item might be good for the possibility of having multiples who aren't on the same schedule or premies that MUST eat every x amount of hours, but for normal people I find this ridiculous!  If you are honestly "spacey" enough that you can't remember to change your baby, feed your baby, etc....should you really be a parent?  Usually a smell of the bottom or a hunger cry is a good enough reminder!
• Breast Milk Testing Strips - To me, part of the nursing is the continued sacrifice for your child.  If you want to go back to drinking alcohol as soon as your baby is born, then don't nurse them - I just think it's kind of an oxy moron.  (Obviously since these items are actually made and people actually use them I'm probably in the minority in this mind set.)
• Wipe Warmer - I had one of these with Hunter and found that no matter what setting I put it on , or how short of a period I left it plugged in it always dried out the wipes.  Balling the wipe up in your hand for a few seconds before using it is a much more efficient way to warm wipes...I think.
• Prenatal Heart Listener - I got one of these when I was pregnant with Hunter and I could NEVER find his heart beat.  It not only cost me money (that was wasted because it didn't work), but it caused me lots of stress worrying about my baby (whose heart I couldn't hear!).  
• Play Mat - I never felt like my kids (or baby sitting kids) laid under something like this for more than 2 minutes.  Also, even if the mat part folds up nice and compact the bridges with toys on them don't, so they take up lots of storage space.  So not worth it to me.
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My Child "Must Haves"!

Here is a list of baby / children's items that I've used with my kids or baby sitting kids that I adore.  Obviously every baby is different...some of these have worked for only one child, some have worked for all of them.  Either way, these are items that I will never go without while I have young children in my home!  The links are the places where I've purchased them, but obviously you can buy them from several different places!

• Moby Wrap - I have tried lots of different carriers, slings wraps, etc.  I think this one is the best one for several different positions and is most useful for the longest period of time.
• Wooden Teething Ring - I love these!  I always feel like the plastic ones get germs in the crevices that are impossible to get out.  It's kind of like an heirloom after they are done with it as well.
• Home made toys - Graysen has loved the toys that I've made her for her the most.  (rice in a used spaghetti jar, cut the top in a formula can and let her learn to stick baby food jar lids in them, etc.)
• Leg Warmers - on the days that we spend at home it's so nice to just stick her in a onesie and her leg warmers.  That way she's warm, but diaper changing is super easy!  
• Bumbo - This chair is amazing!  It helped Graysen (and many other kids I've babysat) sit at an early age and play with toys (in order to not get frustrated with tummy time so quickly).  It was a perfect chair to take into restaurants with us rather than using the germy restaurant high chairs.  It continues to be a great chair for Graysen to sit in every morning while her hair is being done!
• Luv's Diapers - We have found that these are the only diapers that work for day and overnight while not giving Graysen a diaper rash!  (I am hoping that if there is ever another baby in the Redburn household future I exchange this for Bumgenius diapers!)
•   Quick Clean MicroSteam bags - it's a bag that can be used 20ish times.  You literally stick all of your breast pump parts in there with 2 oz. of water and microwave them.  They come out steam cleaned!  Saved me SO much cleaning time!
• Puff Snacks - They come in several brands now, but the little puff snacks are amazing!  They come in both veggie and fruit flavors and were life savors in the car and high chair while I was preparing breakfast, lunch, or dinner.  
• Medela Pump in Style Breast Pump - I went through 4 breast pumps (both electric and hand) from Wal-Mart before my Mom bought me my breast pump (at Babies-r-us).  I could not have lasted nursing my kids with out it.  From being able to pump and feed them in a bottle (so mommy could be gone for more than 2 hours at a time), to pumping for relief when my milk first came in, this has been my best friend at times!
• Swing - I think the two most important parts to a swing are 1) that it swings both front and back and side to side.  2)  The mobile on the top is on an arm that lifts for easily putting your baby in and taking baby out.  
• Umbrella Stroller - I have found that an umbrella stroller is much more useful than any other stroller.  The big ones that your infant car seat hook into are okay in the beginning because they aren't sitting up and you don't have to take them out of their car seat, but once they sit up I think these are all around much better!  They are light weight, much smaller, and MUCH easier to maneuver!   (They actually fit through the store aisles in mall stores!)
• Lansinoh Nursing Pads - I found this brand to be the most comfortable and absorbent.  I am hoping if I ever have another nursing experience I will use these though!
• Lansinoh Breast Milk Storage Bags - I think these are the easiest to pour from bottle to bag and bag to bottle.  I also felt confident in the thickness of them (so they wouldn't tear and leak).  
• Cabinet Locks - These put my mind at ease once my babies started crawling.  I could lock the cabinets with cleaning supplies, heavy ones that could slam on their fingers, ones with glass fronts, etc.
• Mam Pacifiers - These are the only kind Hunter would take and I might've lost my mind if he hadn't taken them!  :0)  Graysen on the other hand did not take a paci (luckily she was not a kid who needed one!)
• Step Stool - Once Hunter learned to go potty by himself a step stool like this was a huge help so that he could also wash his hands by himself!  Made him feel like a big boy and saved me from having to run in the bathroom every time he went potty!  (I also bought another one when he learned to dress himself in the mornings so that he could reach his underwear drawer!)
• Preggie Pops - I needed these big time with Graysen!  They really worked for me!!
• Leather Shoes - Graysen wears shoes like this almost every day!  They have gotten wet, dirty, etc. and have stayed awesome!  She loves them (so they must be comfy).  You can buy them several places and there are lots of different brands, but they all seem to be about the same - GREAT!

Come back tomorrow for my list of items I could've definitely lived without!

HAPPY 82ND BIRTHDAY!

Happy birthday Grandma!  I pray that I will have 82 years on this Earth to influence as many lives as you have.  You have been an awesome role model of what it means to be a real, Christian Woman.  You have had your share of struggles through the last 82 years, but with the Lord have always persevered.  Thank you for setting such a great example for me to follow.  I love you more than you will ever know!

Happy Anniversary Honey!

My note to Lincoln in his anniversary card:

Lincoln,

Today is our 5 year wedding anniversary.  We have had our ups and downs, but mostly ups.  I've been blessed to have a husband who loves the Lord more than he loves me, and in that way loves me the best that he can.  You have taken care of me both physically and mentally more than I ever expected.  You have continued to keep your vow and love me even when it's not been easy.  You have given me beautiful children, and more memories than I can count.  For these things I thank you.  I promise again today that I will continue to love you and work to make our marriage the best it can be until the day I die.  Love is not a feeling, but a choice, and I want you to know that I'm making the same choice again today that I did 5 years ago.  

Love always,

Your Bride

Lots of thoughts tonight

My head is swimming with thoughts...

I had a really hard morning watching my Grandma be in such pain.  I think I've probably seen her cry 2 times in my whole life - and she cried this morning.  She has been in such bad physical pain for so many weeks now.  It seemed like her Doctors weren't trying to do anything to help her, and in today's modern medicine world, you can't tell me that there isn't something to make an 82 year old woman comfortable!  So, I got her in to see another doctor in the same clinic this morning and he gave her a shot that worked wonders and upped her oral meds.  They leave her a bit shaky, but it's better than being in such bad pain.

It hit me really hard this morning how terrible it must be for older people to realize what they have become limited to.  I watched my Grandma struggle to get out of bed, sit on the toilet while she fixed her hair because she was too weak to stand at the mirror, and grab the wall all the way out to her car to go to work because she is too stressed about finances to quit working!  Then at the doctors office I watched a man who once was a Military General struggle to get out of the car and into a wheel chair.  His daughter filled out his paperwork for him and had to hold the clipboard still so he could sign his name at the bottom.  I just can't imagine how humbling it's going to be for me when I get to that point in my life.  Whew.  Too much for one night.  

My cousin passed away in a car accident last night.  It's weird to me because I've never lost a cousin.  I've had 3 grandparents, 1 great-grandparent, 1 great uncle, 1 aunt, 1 uncle, 1 daughter, and now 1 cousin die in my lifetime.  That's 9 people.  Maybe that doesn't seem like many to you, maybe it does.  Lincoln could only come up with 4 in his (2 great-grandparents, 1 great aunt, and 1 daughter).  Anyway...death it seems so easy when you're not confronted with it, but so complicated and confusing when you're in the midst of it.  I'm obviously not going to air my family's dirty laundry on my blog, but let's just say that there are some hard feelings between SEVERAL family members surrounding Jimmy's death.  It's so sad.  I see my grandma trying to reach out to her son and comfort him while having to comprehend the death of her first-born grandchild.  I listened to her talk to Jimmy's wife (of only 8 months) on the phone today and tell her how much she loved her, how she would always be a part of our family even though we haven't had the opportunity to get to know her very well yet.  Then of course there is the salvation factor.  It's just really hard when you don't know for sure where the person stood with God...obviously it's not for any of us to judge or decide, all we can do is pray for the comfort of those closest to him.  

I do marvel at the way God works everything for good.  Jimmy was just here to visit (because his father had a stroke last week).  He got to spend time with his 3 siblings (who don't all live in the same place and rarely get to be together), his father, and his grandma.  The kids even got their picture taken together a few days before he passed away.  How awesome will that be for them to have?! As U. Jim was going through the stroke I found myself thinking, "why would this happen?  Why should my Gma have to go through this stress with her oldest son when she is not in good health herself and is 82 years old?"...well, now I feel like I know!  I believe God had that happen so that the family would all be together before Jimmy passed.  I don't know if this is true or not, but I like to think that God wanted them to have some time together, and since God knew Jimmy's Days before he was even born, He knew this was coming...and what a nice gift to his siblings, Dad, and Grandma.  Thanks God!  :0)  

It's stressful trying to plan to be away from home for 3 days to travel to Omaha for the funeral.  I've got to get everything packed for myself and the kids.  Lincoln won't be able to travel with us because he's got to stay here and work. (Another sucky thing about struggling financially is that you can't just take off work whenever you want to, often times you have to miss out on extremely important events in order to continue to provide for your family!)  Don't get me wrong, I will have lots of help from other family members with the kids - but nothing is quite like having your husband there to help.  Hunter hates sleeping in hotels (he loves them until it's time to go to sleep and then he just wants his own bed...), and Graysen never sleeps in the same room with anyone (and always in her crib), so I'm sure we'll be in for bad nights all around on our trip.  

I had a great evening away with my husband tonight celebrating our 5 year anniversary.  We went to STL, ate dinner at Red Lobster, and then went to the Maryville U Boys Basketball game!  I loved the conversation in the car, Red Lobster is my favorite, and it was awesome being able to sit WITH Lincoln at a game and be able to really watch (a great game) without chasing after and entertaining kids the entire time!  It was a terrific, much needed, night out.  It also helps we got a little bit of time together before I leave on this trip!

My house is freezing.  I hate all the work this electricity bill is creating for me!  Silly, I know, but I felt like my life was full enough before I had to start hand drying the dishes, hang the clothes out to dry (rather than just throwing them in the dryer), search for my cell phone charger (rather than it just being plugged in the wall where I always keep it), and wear 3 extra layers of clothes (which creates more laundry)!  

It's well after midnight and I have a full day tomorrow including a baby shower, packing to travel, a trip to Walmart, going to church (hopefully), and emailing pictures for the funeral.  I suppose I should go to bed...but you can tell my mind is elsewhere right now...

So, it was a bit higher than we expected...

the utility bill that is.  We were aware that it was going up, but we had no idea that it would be nearly as high as it was this month.  I know this is a problem around the entire city, so I'm not complaining, just thought I'd throw some ideas out that we are going institute in our household starting TODAY!  

• Turned off the drying cycle on the dishwasher - we will now hand dry
• We bought new line for the clothes line outside and will start hanging our clothes to dry whenever possible
• When not possible to line dry we will do loads as close together as possible (so the dryer stays hot).
• We will empty the lint trap after every load
• We are no longer using the lights during the day, just opening all the blinds in the house.  
• Lights will never be on in a room that we are not in during evening hours (we've always done this)
• We unplugged everything that is unnecessary (cell phone chargers, digital picture frame, etc.)
• We will start turning the computer off at night
• We turned the thermostat down 2 degrees (the most I can stand!)
• We are going to try to wait until July to turn on our air and just use fans (we'll see how hot it gets!)
• No more using the exhaust fan or light above the stove or sink

We'll see how this works and hope that it's a tiny bit lower next month!  Any other tips for us?  

**  We are not a family of extremes.  We do not usually go / do anything to one extreme or the other, so I'm aware that this list is not amazingly sacrificial or huge.  It's just a few little things that a normal American family can handle.  

Faith Muscles

I haven't been inspired anything that has come into my own head these days.  I have been inspired by so many other people and things that I've read though!  My next few posts will probably be excerpts from things that I've heard or read lately.  I hope they inspire you as well.  

I get the magazine "Mom Sense" through my MOPS group.  It is always great!  Here are some excerpts from an article that was in there this month.

"As if we don't wrestle with enough guilt, we moms tend to beat ourselves up for not being as committed to our spiritual life as we think we should be.  But connecting with God can happen in all kinds of mothering moments.  Here are a few ways to stretch your faith muscles at every age and stage:  

The warm-up years:

...Notice how you're changing, how your heart is opening up.  Watch the ways your child is growing and marvel at the work God is doing in him or her.  Give yourself grace when you mess up and know God has plenty for you, too.  Let these be the years you discover how to lean on God.

The aerobic years:

As your child moves into the preschool years, he enters a stage of incredible discovery.  You can join in and uncover a new appreciation for God's goodness.  ...Perhaps part of what it means to have faith like a child is to recapture a child's awe and joy for being alive.  Pump up your faith as you develop a new appreciation for all God's provisions.

The stretching years:

...These are the years when our patience is tested, our tempers get fired up and our dreams become dashed a little.  But out of these challenging years can come tremendous strength if we turn to God for help.  Spend time each morning asking God for the patience to parent well.  Make time to talk to other moms and get their support.  Be willing to apologize when you lose your cool and offer grace when your kids lose theirs."

I thought this analogy was a wonderful one and made me stop and realize that I am growing closer to God every day - even if it's not spent with hours of bible study and prayer.  My children are helping me every step of the way!

Fun Art Days

We often have "Art time" at our house.  It usually takes place when Daddy is gone somewhere because it stresses him out to have that kind of a mess going on.  (Although he has gotten tons better...when he comes home while we're still doing it he actually can walk in the same room to check out the art work!)  Sometimes we do a craft project, but normally we do finger painting, or just regular painting.  When Hunter was younger he liked to finger paint on blank paper, but lately he's really enjoyed painting the pictures out of those HUGE coloring books.  We currently have a Backyardagins one, and he is greatly enjoying painting (not coloring...) all the pictures in it.  Gray is still a little young to paint with, but I'm sure she will be ready in a few months.  For now she either colors with crayons or draws with chalk while brother paints.

Note to God

Dear God,

Thank you for the rain today.  It's not too much, as to soak the ground and make lots of mud, but it's just enough.  The air smells so fresh and clean - like spring!  Today is the first day I've smelt spring in almost a year and it smells so so delicious!  It rejuvenated my hope that warmer weather will be coming soon and I will be able to resume many fun activities with my kids.  I promise that on the first day possible we will take a walk and talk about all the awesome things you have made all around us.  You know just what I need and always send it in time.  You must've known I needed that reminder today as I struggle with waiting for answers on other issues.  Thank you.  I will continue to wait until you see fit to provide a way.

Love,

Ashley

Maybe I'll buy Huggies this month...

I get tired of the stupid (okay, so I think they're stupid) campaigns that most companies have lately.  I hate the fact that so many of them are based on sexuality or popularity.  Huggies sent a story in the mail today (along with some coupons in the back) that I would not have read except Graysen brought it to me to read to her.  I thought it was the first good, funny advertisement that I have seen in quite some time!  It was in full color and had awesome illustrations!  Some of you may have gotten it in the mail - for those of you who missed out, here's the story (sorry you're missing out on the pictures...try to use your imagination)!

Look at me, check me out

My name's Harry - Harry Hubble

You're probably wondering why I'm here

Inside this plastic bubble.

The answer's pretty simple

My mom is full of STRESS

She gets freaked when I get close

To any kind of mess.

So here I am, with my friend Sam

Who loves to finger paint

If my hands were ever red, green & blue

My mom would surely faint.

And at those birthday parties

Kids have ice cream on their cheeks

If that was me, my mom's eye  would be

Twitching for 2 weeks.

If you're uptight, Mom that's alright

It takes all kinds and types

But your messy-stress would disappear 

if you grabbed some Huggies Wipes.

Feels gentle like a washcloth

Cleaning any mess on me

Like ice cream, mud or syrup

And of course my poo and pee.

And just like that, the switched was flipped

My Mommy heard my plea

She released me from the bubble

And made a party just for me.

And mom no longer freaked out

With Huggies Wipes right by her side

She even got some ice cream on her face

A welcome sight I must confide.

So check me out!

I'm Harry Hubble!

In a plastic bubble?

No Way!

(in fact my mom is sending the bubble back to the bubble store today)

Of course Hunter's favorite was the "poo and pee" line, so we read that page several times (after we read the whole story 5 times!).  Pretty cute story if I do say so myself!

Dating Rules

Lincoln and have tried off and on to schedule regular date nights...but unfortunately we don't feel right asking our families to baby sit when they sit for us SO many other times.  If we hire a babysitter we can't really afford to do anything on our date that costs money...so we end up fizzling out and going for months without a real date.  I found these "dating rules" today and agreed with ALL of them!  Amazing!  

Anyone have any tips on how they make regular date nights work with a limited budget and kids?!

Marriage is hard work!

I recently listened to a speaker who gave some wonderful tips on the marriage relationship. 

 Here are some of my favorites:

• Never use absolutes "you always", "you never", etc.
• Rather than telling him what to do, start your request with a statement such as "It would mean so much to me if you would ___".
• Realize that although women are prone to believing that if they feel something it is a fact, that is not always the case.  Facts are very different than feelings.
• Women are especially sensitive to criticism.  We have a built-in desire to be pleasing to others and therefore criticism, especially from our husbands, is very hard to handle.  
• If you are craving some actual conversation - something other than the score of the game last night or what your child ate for lunch, ask him "In what ways can I let you know that I value you?"
• Just as you reserve some of your energy for your children (rather than using it all at work or on the house), you need to reserve some energy for your husband.  This includes conversation, intimacy, and date nights.
• Book suggestions:  The Five Love Languages, The Power of a Praying Wife, Love and Respect, and The DNA of Relationships.
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MOPS

Some of the special women in my MOPS Group!

I've mentioned MOPS a couple of times on this blog, but I'm not sure I've really devoted a whole post to talk about a group that has proven to be such a blessing in my life!  I joined MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers, which really means mothers of any child who is younger than kindergarten) after my cousin Brittany invited me to go along with her.  I started going in January '07.  I went for 2 semesters before I was put on bed rest with Graysen.  I never got very close to any of the women in MOPS.  I enjoyed going and listening to the speakers and doing the activities, but nothing else developed outside of the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of the month.  At the point I was on bed rest I was gone for almost a whole semester.  The women that I had never spoken to outside of our two meetings a month brought me meals and sent home crafts for me to do.  They sent encouraging emails, and prayed for my family.  I realized then how blessed I was to have this group of women in m

y life.  I vowed then and there that when this new year started I would become involved in the group and give back to them whatever I was capable of.  I have since grown so much as a Christian mother, wife, and friend.  I've started participating in the extra fun events that they do, and have began to make friendships that I hope will last a lifetime.    

This is a picture that was taken of Lincoln and at the MOPS Valentine's Day Dinner - lots of fun!

Not Right Now

If I say to Hunter "Not right now buddy, I have to _____" once a day, I must say it 20 times.  It breaks my heart every time.  I want to just scream and say "who cares about _____...I want to play with my son!"  Unfortunately, that's not how life works, things have to get done, and I just pray that he won't remember all the times I told him no.  I also pray that come May I'll have a lot more time to say "Sure buddy, let's go do it!"

My family is expanding

No - I am not pregnant!  Ha ha, just had to get that over with.  

As many of you know, my mom is engaged to Charlie, a man that has been in our lives for the last 5 years.  I have to admit - we have gone through a few rough patches over those years.  There have been days when I REALLY didn't like him.  Days when I wished he would just disappear out of our lives.  

I am thrilled to say that those days are over.  I find myself more and more fond of him every single day.  I am proud to say that he has been a changed man for a little more than 2 years now and I have grown to love him in these past 2 years.  He has been a support for me during hard times.  He has opened my eyes to new ways of viewing the world.  He has taught me things after I thought I would no longer have a dad to teach them to me.  He has filled a void that I longed for for many, many years.  

I haven't always told him how much I appreciate him (I guess he knows now, because I'm sure my mom will let him read this post...lol), but I do.  I appreciate him letting us invade his house at all hours.  I appreciate him listening to me ramble about my life.  I appreciate him being a Grandpa for my kids.  I appreciate the days when we cook out, and the days when we play Rock Band.  Mostly, I appreciate him loving my mom.  My heart leaps with joy when she calls me to say that her day was made because he sent her a sweet email, or when I hear them joking on the phone together.  I have seen my mom at the lowest of lows and I never want to see her there again.  That's why I'm glad that they have learned to appreciate each other and respect each other's differences.    

As they talk more in detail about their upcoming summer wedding, I get more and more anxious to have him in our lives forever.  I am excited about getting to know my new step-sisters better.  I'm can't wait for us to have huge family gatherings with 2 parents, 5 daughters, 1 son, and 2 grandkids.  

I'm excited about our future as a family together...

Messy Snacks

There are so many days when my kids look like this!  They think it's very funny to see how messy they can get while eating a snack.  I've even given up sweeping under the high chair until the end of the day - it just gets too frustrating after every snack (and there are lots in my household)!  I love seeing them giggle together and laugh as they shove the food in their mouths, often times turning to shove some in their siblings mouth.  The only thing that would make these pictures any better is sound to hear their little voices.  Oh, how I love them...

Congratulations!

Congratulations are in order to our good friends who finalized the adoption of their 7 month old little girl today!  

You have been down a hard path, but have proven to be patient and loyal to Our Father and He has blessed you beyond belief with your baby girl.  Your friendship means so much to us and we are very lucky to have you in our lives.  We love you all dearly!  Soak up the memories of this day - you deserve it!

A great gifting game!

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me!  My choice.  For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1.  I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!

2.  You will receive your gift before the end of the year (or sooner)

3.  You will have no clue what the item will be.  It could be a story or a CD.  It could be a piece of handmade jewelry or an art doll.  I may draw, paint, collage, or knit something.  I might bake you something and mail it to you.  I may grow you a plant.  Who knows?  Not you, that's for sure!

4.  I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch?  In order to receive a gift you must repost this and make and send out five surprises of your own!  

That Loving Feeling

I find that I have much more loving feelings toward my husband when he does something that is usually my "job" without complaining.  I asked him to sweep and mop the kitchen floor today and I would get the rest of the house ready to host bible study and not only did he sweep and mop, but he did a spectacular job!  :0)  

(Wish I had gotten a picture of him on his hands and knees scrubbing, but I think he might have frowned on that...!)  

The truth from a 4 year old

Ashley:  Last night I had the house all picked up and I went in the bedroom to talk on the phone for 30 minutes, then we ate dinner for 30 minutes, then I watched my 2 hour show and by the end of it our house was destroyed again.  How does our house go from put together to totally destroyed in 3 hours?!

Lincoln:  I don't know, honey - it's amazing isn't it?

Hunter:  That's the life about having kids mom!

Lincoln:  Hmm...I don't know that I've ever heard a statement more true than that!

Mark-ups make me MAD!

Okay, so I usually don't vent about these kinds of topics on here...but...I hate how much people mark up their services!!!  Because we are going to cutting our income in May, I have been shopping around for TV and Internet services.  We were hoping to not have to get rid of either of them completely, but realized that at the rate we were paying, that may be a possibility.  So - I called Direct TV and although they advertise a great rate, you get roped into 6 months of a total rip-off rate after the advertised rate is up!  So...we'll stay with Dish.  I also called Century Tel (who we have our internet through) to see what we could do about that.  When it seemed that all was hopeless, I asked to be transfered to the department where you cancel your services.  When I got to them I had a very short conversation with the woman about how money was just tight and we could no longer afford to pay for a phone that we never used (land line), or the outrageous price we were paying for internet.  She immediately offered me a deal.  I asked about the contract, and again, it extended past the time that the deal was offered for.  I told her it was a no-go and she shortened the contract for the "deal" time.  Amazing.  So...now we are paying literally 1/2 what we were paying for internet to begin with and no phone line.  I can't believe that with that little prodding we could've been paying this for the last year!!!  So now...I'm thinking I'll try the same "trick" with Dish and see what they say.  Why do they feel the need to mark things up so much that people stress out and get to the point where they decide they can't afford them anymore?!  

Frustrating to say the least....but I sure am glad we're getting to keep both TV and Internet!  :0)

Their Old Vs. My Old

I always thought it was funny growing up when my parents would listen to "their music".  The oldies you know?  Right now I am listening to Hunter and Lincoln singing "The Right Stuff" by New Kids on the Block!  Funny how he is now listening to "my oldies"!  Every single time we get in the car he requests the "oh oh oh oh-oh song"...that's right, I still keep my New Kids On the Block CD in my car!  :0)    

20 things we can do for ourselves

What can women (or men I suppose) do for some time alone to nourish our souls?  These are my ideas - most of them kid-free since I find that it's the mothering role that zaps me the most (must be what I put the majority of my energy into huh?).  

1.  Study God's Word - with a group of trusted friends or alone

2.  Go to STL Bread Co. (or an equivalent) and spend time drinking a favorite drink, reading a book, writing in a journal, listening to music, or people watching.

3.  Get together with friends for a night of movie watching or crafts

4.  Take a nap

5.  Watch a favorite TV Show...kid-free!

6.  Take a bath

7.  Take a weekend vacation - alone, with your spouse, or with girlfriends

8.  Have a family day - a day where there are no expectations, only fun activities planned!

9.  "Lock" yourself in the other room and have a long overdue phone conversation with a friend.

10.  Blog your true feelings (even if you don't publish it)

11.  Take a drive in the country (or whatever nature feeds your soul) with the windows down and the music up loud

12.  Exercise (in a gym, taking a walk around a park, etc.)

13.  Have a date night with your husband

14.  Go to bed early (without feeling the guilt of your husband having to do the bedtime routine with the kids for once...this also means letting him do it however he sees fit)

15.  Take a dance / aerobics / yoga class

16.  Go somewhere in nature to meditate (I love to do this in the cemetery)

17.  Have a good long, hard cry (and not tell yourself "crying doesn't fix anything" the whole time)

18.  Sing worship songs at the top of your lungs by yourself or with your kids

19.  Join a women's group (such as MOPS)

20.  Pray without ceasing for a renewed spirit - for the energy and grace to continue to serve those around you.

We're on the same team!

Graysen has discovered that she can ALMOST get her own diaper off.  If she doesn't have pants on she is tugging at her diaper to try to get it off.  Today she was attempting to get the new one off after a diaper change.  A few minutes later she ran in to me in the kitchen, naked, giggling her little head off.  I couldn't believe that she had finally figured it out!  I looked in the living room and Hunter was curled up in the corner of the couch covering his mouth cracking up.  I asked him what was so funny and he told me that he took it off for her!  I gave him "the look" and said, "why would do that son?!  She could pee on the floor!"  His response?

"I had to help her Mom, we're on the same team!!"

I love the fact that at such an early age we have successfully instilled in our children that they are always to be on the same team.  Even if it means that they are against us, our hope is that they always take up for each other - no matter what!!!  That's what being a sibling is all about!

A few new accomplishments!

Graysen is a very different child then Hunter.  She has TONS more personality than Hunter did at her age.  She lets you know how she's feeling at all times.  She is a child of routine, very unlike her brother.  She is extremely vocal as well.  In the last week she's done three new things that I wanted to save though...

1.  She has started saying "night night".  So...it sounds more like "nigh, nigh", but we all know what it means.  She says it to whoever is around before I carry her into her bedroom at night.  She is thrilled to go to bed most of the time.  It's rare when she cries when I put her down.  She loves her bed and to sleep - just like me!  :0)  She is a terrible traveler, and the other day on our way to STL she was crying (because she was tired), and Lincoln looked back at her and said "you can go night night Gray", and she stopped, laid her head back and relaxed!  What a girl.

2.  She has started saying "Thank you" when you hand her something!  It's adorable!!!

3.  She went and got me a diaper this morning and brought it to me.  She is usually terrible to change because she screams and rolls around, but apparently this morning she was ready for it to come off!  She went to her room, got a diaper, brought it to me, and followed me to the living room and laid down (and still) to have it changed!

Role vs. Identity

What is the difference between our "role" and our "identity"?  This question was discussed during my small group meeting this past week.  I really think this question put into words what I have been fighting for the past 6 (or so) months.  I feel like since Hunter was born I have thrown myself into the role of Mother and Wife so much that I have forgotten who I am.  Who I am for myself, not as my children's mother, my husband's wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend.  I know this soul searching has been obvious through my entries, but I just had to "vocalize" that I finally realized what I was trying to discover.  I have been playing all of my many roles, but not living my identity.  My identity is there, buried deep under the surface desperately trying to shine through.  

My small group (made up of both men and women) agreed that women struggle with this much more then men because we feel such a strong responsibility to our family, house, etc.  We feel extreme guilt if we take time to ourselves when so many other things still need to be done!  Our kids need taken care of, there is laundry to do, dishes, cleaning, husbands to tend to.  Men somehow don't experience these feelings and rarely find it hard to drop what they're doing to play a video game, take a nap, go work out, or spend an evening with their friends.    

Valentine's Day '09