I'm drowning in lists...and updates on the process

Lists, lists, everywhere!  

My life is consumed with lists right now!  I don't know how else I would keep it straight, but I literally have two sheets every day:  One for "to do's for AAI" and one for "to do's for AKI".  At the end of the day I re-write my list for the next day taking off the things that I accomplished and transferring over the ones that still need finished up, often adding new items to the list.  I literally can not walk out of the house without my binder now.  I feel the need to be prepared with all of my paperwork if a situation may arise while I'm out that I could accomplish something!  I'm always brain storming ways to accomplish the things on the list faster.  I feel as though I am constantly making phone calls to try to "sweet talk" someone into doing us a favor when it comes to paperwork.  I'm asking someone to print something, someone to let me use their copier, someone to let me fax something.  I'm asking someone to fill something out, make a deposit for me, sign something.  It's absolutely amazing when you step back for a second and look at it.  I told Lincoln yesterday, adoption could literally be a 40 hour a week job!!  

I have no idea how fast I'm accomplishing this paperwork compared to everyone else who adopts, but I feel as though I'm doing it as quickly as I can while continuing to be a good wife and mother.  I had to take a step back today because I was filling out our background check forms to be faxed and Hunter came up and hugged me and bumped my arm.  I kind of snapped at him and then realized how silly it was for me to snap at him when I'm working toward another child.  If I can't be loving to the ones I have, why in the world would I get another one?!  It did make me think.  Not that I'm going to be any less driven on accomplishing my lists everyday, but I am determined not to let them interfere with Hunter, Graysen, and Lincoln.  

Updates on the process

We should have most of our paperwork done for our home study by next Wednesday.  We are sill missing our references. (she said she would send them out this week...)  We will also be missing our certificate for completing our 10 hours of adoption education.  From what I understand they only send those out at the end of every month, and since we didn't get it until too late in April, we will have to wait until the end of May.  Somewhere in this month we will have our in home visit and then she'll write up our home study and we'll be ready to send off our 1-600A!  Yippy!

We are waiting for our educational packet from AAI.  They said there is simply a lot of stuff to read over, but nothing to complete.  About 2 weeks after they send us that, they will send us our Dossier packet!  Woohoo!  I can't wait to dive into that - I'm hoping that I'll have several of the items already due to gathering so much for the home study.  We shall see I guess...!!!

I'm a Pampered Chef Consultant!!!

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm a new Pampered Chef Consultant!  :0)  That's right, I can have your parties for you now!  I signed up under my friend Jennifer.  She suggested it to me as a way to earn extra money during our adoption and it felt like a great choice!  It is truly the only product that I feel like I can sell, because it's really the only thing that I absolutely love!  I am very excited to get started on this journey, so if any of you are interested in hosting a party and earning all kinds of great product, please let me know and I'd love to set one up with you!

It's not you, it's me. Really.

Dear Blog,

I am sorry that you are being neglected. I really do still love you. I know you're aware there's someone else. It's true, my adoption blog is seeing much more of me than you are. Someday I will be able to focus on you again...just not now. I try and try to think of things to write on you, but my mind is just consumed with other things right now. I hope you'll forgive me.

Looking forward to the day that we reconnect,
Ashley

HAPPY DAY!

Congrats to our friends the Chrisco's! They passed court today!!! I'm beyond happy for them - we can't wait to meet your little one!!! Love you!

Our First Homestudy Meeting

The day started off well. Lincoln went into work for a few hours and I had a quiet house (no babysititng kids) to get the three of us ready. I got the kids dressed, fed, and ready for the new babysitter to come, and then showered and got myself ready. I picked up the house a bit (by the way: I've kept the living room and kitchen picked up and clean since Friday night - this is a huge accomplishment for me!) I was feeling calm, cool, and collected. Our lifesavor of a babysitting came at 10:30 (what a blessing to randomly work with a UMR girl who only has class until 10 on Tuesdays!). I showed her around the house, made sure there were lunch options laid out, diapers and wipes, etc. I introduced the kids and got them settled in for about 30 minutes. I wasn't freaking out...yet.

We got in the car and headed up there and about Union I started feeling it. The nausea set in. I felt like I might puke at any given moment. Bless Lincoln, he could totally tell and held my hand and talked me through it the whole way! We couldn't find the building and had to call Jenny while driving up and down Watson Rd., but we eventually found it and had a GREAT meeting!

We gave her some paperwork, she helped us fill out some paperwork, and she gave us more to do and gather! :0) Fun stuff let me tell you! I'm wishing that I had my dossier packet so that I could make sure I'm doing everything right and not going to have to backtrack and do it again, just slightly different for that.

Overall, a great day - I feel much more at ease about the whole process, and if I weren't motivated already...I certantly am now!!! :0)

3 great things...

Three great things happened yesterday:

1.  I had my Pampered Chef show!  It was great, and I can't thank you all enough for showing your support.  As an added blessing I had someone I don't even know offer to do a Pampered Chef fundraising show for me in Ohio!  

2.  We went and saw Mom and Charlie's new house!  It's AMAZING!  Such a beautiful home, with TONS of home, yard, and woods for our THREE children to explore.  I know they're going to have a blast doing sleep overs at Grammie and Poopa's house when they get older!  :0)

3.  We received our packet back from AAI.  It has our I600-A, our detailed report on what kind of child we'll accept, and our DVDs and workbook.  I'm super excited to get started on it!  The only negative part...?  We owe lots more money when we send it back!  lol  ( I think I'd better get used to that huh?!)  :0)

Lord, Give me a new start to my day.

I went to bed with a headache.  I woke up with one.

The bath water from last night didn't get drained (another tub cleaning headed my way).

Graysen has already thrown one of her (newly) famous fits.

I'm dying to get started on the adoption packet that we received yesterday in the mail, but know that we won't have time today.

Lord, give me a positive attitude and an appreciation for the day you have given me...no matter what happens in it!

Why don't I just keep up?

Someone PLEASE tell me why I don't just keep my house cleaning up on a regular basis rather than doing everything all at once (and not often enough)????  For some reason I find it so VERY difficult to keep a nice, neat, orderly, clean house.  I'm having my Pampered Chef Party tomorrow, and so tonight I cleaned my guest bathroom, kitchen, and living room from top to bottom.  We're talking washing windows, dusting, vacuuming, picking up, wiping down, sweeping, moping, re-organizing, etc.  As I sit here (rather than falling into bed), I love the feeling of having everything in a specific place and perfectly clean.  

Why don't I just keep it up?!

The best news yet...

We are accepted into AAI!  :0)  It's official!  They sent us out our paperwork on the 21st, so we should be receiving it any day now!  (Dani - what comes next?!?!)  

Thank you all for your prayers!

Not Worth It

We've made lots of cuts lately.  Most of them are totally worth it.  One cut that I've decided is NOT worth it is...

generic baby soap!

One of my favorite smells in the whole world is the smell of my kids coming out of the bath every night, snuggling them up and kissing their head and breathing in deep.  

You just can't beat Johnson and Johnson...

Girlfriends

One of my friends recently wrote a blog post about girlfriends.  It started me thinking.  Today I was going through a huge stack of un-labled CDs and seeing what was on them and ran across a CD that Cody had made me.  It was a song that she wrote and recorded when Claire (our first daughter) passed away.  Here are the lyrics:

There are times that it's clear to me 

that we're to help each other fight the fight.

When you can't stand up,

I'll stand up for you,

When you can't bow down,

I'll be on my knees for you,

When you can't find the strength to get you through

I'll be right here, trying to help you.

That's what friends are for.

That's what friends are for.  

When you're in need and you need someone to intercede

That's what friends are for.  

There are times in our lives that we can't control

Sometimes they knock us off our feet

Sometimes they bring us to our knees

Sometimes there are times when we can't do anything

We just stand there and we breathe

When you can't stand up,

I'll stand up for you,

When you can't bow down,

I'll be on my knees for you,

When you can't find the strength to get you through

I'll be right here, trying to help you.

That's what friends are for.

That's what friends are for.  

When you're in need and you need someone to intercede

That's what friends are for. 

Oh, when you're in need and you need someone to intercede,

That's what friends are for.

That's what friends are for.

It's funny to me to think back through what "friends" have meant to me throughout my life.  Moving often growing up I tended to find one close friend in each state.  In Washington DC it was Diana, in Nebraska it was Valerie, in Illinois it was Katie, in Alaska it was Martha and Sarah.  I always had my cousins (Jayna, Brittany, and Miranda) here in Missouri for when we came "home" to visit.  When we moved back here the summer before my 8th grade year I developed a whole group of close friends.  Although a few of the friends took different paths as we got into the middle years of High School, for the most part we all stayed close all the way through.  I even went to college with two of them.  

Friends as a child and even through High School meant that we shared the same interests.  We often times did the same extra curricular activities or took the same classes in school.  As I got into college, my friends started to mean different things to me.  I had lost touch with most of my friends from high school and started making friends in college that were from all walks of life.  I had friends in and out of the dance department.  I had friends in the military, friends of different races, friends from several different countries.  Friends in college were like extended family.  They were there when your family was hours away.  They taught you new things and showed you new ways to view things.  We all came from different towns, different family sizes, and different upbringings.  It was a nice mesh.  

Now that I'm married and have children friends mean a whole new thing to me.  I have friends that I'm friends with just because we share common interests, or our kids do activities together.  I still have some friends that I have known since High School.  I also have new friends that I have met through work or church.  Some of these friends are great to meet for dinner, or do a play date with.  

I don't have time for friends very often.  I'm a busy girl.  Some of my very best friends are women that live hours and hours away.  Some of them I go weeks or even months without talking to.  It is not important that we share the same extra curricular activities or that we eat lunch together weekly.  We don't need to have kids the same age or have kids at all.  What I need right now are my friends that are friends because they know me inside and out.  They know what makes me tick.  They have seen me in my darkest of times and at my best.  They encourage me in my Christian faith and I can count on them no matter what.  I need my friends that I know will load up their kids or leave work early to drive to my side if I have a crisis.  I need my friends that I don't feel guilty asking that kind of sacrifice of because I know I would do the same thing for them in a heartbeat.  I need my friends that I don't mind correcting my children because I trust that they are good parents and truly love my children and have their best interest in mind.  

Sometimes I am okay with not seeing my friends that often...then there are times when I wish I was surrounded by them daily.  I miss you all.  

Pampered Chef Fundraiser Reminder

Hey everyone!  Just a reminder that our Pampered Chef Fundraiser is coming to a close this Saturday!  If you would like to place an order please contact me (ashleyredburn@hotmail.com, 263-0258, or comment on the blog), or place an order HERE.  

Thank you for all of your support as we travel this amazing journey!  

Ash

Pampered Chef Fundraiser Reminder

Just a reminder that my Pampered Chef Adoption Fundraiser is coming to a close this Saturday!  If you would like to place an order please contact me (ashleyredburn@hotmail.com, 263-0258, or comment on this blog post), or place an order online HERE...make sure that I am listed as your host.  If you have any questions please let me know!  

Thanks everyone!  

Why Ethiopia?

We've had tons of people ask why we made the decision to adopt from Ethiopia specifically.  Here are some of the reasons:  

• One in ten children die before their first birthday
• One in six children die before their fifth birthday.
• 60 percent of children in Ethiopia are stunted because of malnutrition.
• 1.5 million people in Ethiopia are infected with HIV (sixth highest country in the world).
• 720,000 children have been orphaned by AIDS alone, and there are 4.6 million orphans in Ethiopia. (The most recent stats I can find - 2007 - say that there are 127,000 children waiting to be adopted here in the US - this does not count those who are adopted at birth...but they will never live in foster care or an orphanage.)  
• Half the children in Ethiopia will never attend school. 88 percent will never attend secondary school.  (...can you imagine never sending your child to school?!)
• Ethiopia's doctor to children ratio is 1 to 24,000 (can you imagine if that were the case here?  What would the wait to get into the Dr. would be like?  We think it's bad when we can't get our sick child in that same day!)
• We didn't qualify for many countries.  I am only 25, we've only been married for 5 years, and we're not rich.  Most countries have much higher requirements.

The best words in the world

My girlfriend who is adopting from Ethiopia emailed me the first video of her son today!  A friend of hers who is over there right now took it and emailed it to her.  What a great gift.  In the video her son is being held by a woman who has also been in lots of the pictures they have gotten of him.  As she spoke his Ethiopian name you could hear the love in her voice.  Then the videographer showed the toy he was playing with that had pictures of his parents.  How wonderful that he is surrounded by their faces even though they are not there.  As she showed the toy she said, 

"Yes, that's his family!"

Wow.  I just cried.  What awesome words.  This little boy, living on the other side of the world has a family.  They have never met, but they are family...and will be forever.

God is amazing.

God knows...

how much I can handle!  I received a return email from Jenny at 11:25 am!!!  It was a great email and WE ARE ACCEPTED!  :0)  I emailed her back to schedule our first visit!  Yea!

I have to keep my eyes open and my heart ready to listen to God through this process.  This situation was just another affirmation to me that we are doing the right thing and that God is on our side through all of this.  I'm so glad to have someone like HIM in our corner!  :0)

Frustrations are common...

So here I am.  Frustrated again.  

I thought I had picked the home study agency that would be best for us.  Now I'm questioning it.  I emailed our "girl" last Friday morning with LOTS of questions.  I got an "Auto Out of Office" Reply.  It said she would be in Monday.  

I didn't have access to a computer yesterday, so when I got it today I was ready to dive into all the answers and had thought of a few more questions.  

Did I get a reply yesterday?  No.  

Have I gotten one so far today (it's 11:00 a.m.)?  No.  

Am I frustrated?  Yes.  

I'm sure that they are busy...but if they are too busy to answer my emails, then I'm not sure I want to work with these people...  

I'm going to email one more time and see how long it takes for them to respond.  

Too bad I just sent them $250.00...

Raising a Man

Thanks goes out to my husband for raising such a good young man.  Today while we were playing outside Hunter told me that there was a wasp.  

"I don't want you girls to get stung, so you get Graysen, I'll keep an eye on him, and lets get inside Momma!"  

It sounded just like something that Lincoln might have said.  I am so grateful for having a husband who is instilling the responsibility of taking care of the women in his life in our young son.  I know he will make a wonderful husband and father someday.  

Hunter's song of the day:

Hunter usually picks one song and sings it the whole day.  I just love hearing him sing. 

I'm going to try to start recording his song of the day...

On Sunday it was:   "Your Grace is enough, Your Grace is enough, Your Grace is enough for me!"

On the way home from church he asked exactly what it said, and then asked what "grace" meant.  Have you ever tried explaining to a 4 year old what grace means?!  My first explanation was "God forgiving us even though we continue to mess up over and over".  Then I said " being patient with people is an example of giving them grace".  

I looked it up today to see what I should have told him and I found that using words that he understood, I think I did a pretty good job!

Oh. My. Goodness.

We did it. We really sent off the official application to our agency of choice, and our application to our home study agency. We gathered the appropriate documents. We wrote the checks, we made copies of the packets, and I mailed them today!!!

Wow! After I handed them over to the lady behind the counter at the Post Office I just got chills. When I got back to my car I sat there for a moment, got tears in my eyes, and said a silent prayer. A prayer that we are truely following God's will for our lives and our family. A prayer of hope that the road ahead will be only slightly rocky and curvy, and a prayer for our newest child...

This is going to be an amazing journey.

We love the skating rink!

We go to the skating rink in Rolla often during the winter months because they have an awesome play place that Hunter can release his energy from being inside for days at a time.  He has never even payed attention to the fact that there is a large skating area with cool music and lights when we go.  

Hunter got skates for Easter last year and has worn them 20ish times around the living room, but with the change of nice weather (that we WERE having...) he has shown an interest in them more.  We took them outside and practiced skating up and down the road several times a few weeks ago.  I was telling him that there is a special floor to skate on at the play place and asked if he would like to try next time we went.  He was excited, so we made plans to go later that week.  

When we got there, he was very excited to start trying to learn to skate.  The employees were nice enough to let us take him out on the floor with just our tennis shoes on (because we surely would've fallen as well!).  Lincoln took him out the first time.  One trip around the rink and Hunter was done.  He came back to the play place and played for awhile and then decided he was ready for another try.  The second time he went once around with Lincoln and then let Mommy take him once around.  This was the end of our first skating experience.  He said he was having fun, but preferred to play in the play zone the rest of the visit.  

Maybe we'll try again in a few weeks...

...and we're off!

Today was a great day in the mail world!  I received both my home study application (and several other documents to start working on) AND my tax forms (in the 7-10 day time frame as promised!)!!!!  

Tonight will be a late night I'm sure...

April 16th: One Day Without Shoes

Their movement is simple yet so important. It's called One for One. You buy a pair of TOMS shoes and they give a pair of shoes to a child in need.

 They are doing something really cool tomorrow. They are encouraging everyone to go a day without shoes. 

You can check out the details at www.TOMSshoes.com/OneDay. Here are some ways to join the movement and spread awareness:

On April 16th, go barefoot on the way to the water cooler, walking to the mailbox, in an afternoon meeting or on your lunch break; go barefoot for the entire day or long enough to raise awareness.

Attend a shoeless event in your area. Check this page (www.TOMSshoes.com/OneDay) for updates on times and specific locations.

Share One Day Without Shoes with all your friends on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Myspace by updating your status, writing a note, or posting a bulletin.

Blog about One Day Without Shoes on April 16th.

Buy TOMS Shoes and join our One for One movement! For every pair you purchase, TOMS will give a pair of shoes to a child in need. One for One. Purchase yours today!

Share the TOMS mission, and how our One for One movement is changing the lives of children in need.

And speaking of those needs, check out these facts and just some of the reasons why what TOMS shoes is doing is so important:

Fact #1: In some developing nations, children must walk for miles to food, clean water and to seek medical help.

Fact #2: Cuts and sores on feet can lead to serious infection.

Fact #3: Often, children cannot attend school barefoot.

Fact #4: In Ethiopia, approximately one million people are suffering from Podoconiosis, a debilitating and disfiguring disease caused by walking barefoot in volcanic soil.

Fact #5: Podoconiosis is 100% preventable by wearing shoes.

Check out this video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUSTOe-fiyI&feature=player_embedded

A List of What's to Come:

My camera card is full and I haven't put any of them on my computer or blogged about any of them!  Here is my list of things that need to be scrap-blogged or blogged about:

Our Easter Egg Tree Fun Friday

Our first time to the skating rink

Chuck E. Cheese Trip

Hunter's First Circus

Hunter Playing Soccer

Easter

My Girly Girl

It's official.  Graysen is a girl through and through!  She loves rings and shoes.  Does it get any better for a mom of a daughter?!  :0)  She loves playing with my rings while they are on and literally squeels with delight when I take them off and let her try them on!  She also loves shoes and will put ANYONE'S on, but obviously her favorites are high heels (that make great noises on hard floors), or anything that is pink and sparkly!  

A Mixed Family

When I say that I am probably the most color blind person you will ever meet I do not say this to "brag" on myself.  In fact, I think it shows up as a negative thing more often in my life than not.  

I have never noticed the color of someone unless I'm oohing and ahhing over an African person's hair (boy or girl, I love all the possibilities, the beautiful curls, and the 'fros!)  In fact, while watching a basketball game on TV a few months back, they showed a player make an awesome shot and then cut to a woman jumping up and down in the stands obviously excited.  I said to Lincoln, "is that his mom or something?"  His response?  "Uh, Ash, he was black...you seriously are the most color blind person I know!"  It was funny at the time, but strikes a whole new chord now that we are going to be a multi-racial family!

We will get those comments.  Teachers will not be looking for me to come pick my child up from the classroom.  We will probably get odd looks in Walmart with 2 white parents, 2 white kids, and 1 black kid.  Someday when my child is doing something famous on TV and the camera shoots to me jumping around like an idiot, someone sitting at home will make the same comment Lincoln did.  (ha ha)  It's really okay with me.  

I hope that our generation will make the stero-type of families disappear.  I hope that our kids will view a family as a group of people who have made a life long commitment to each other rather than a group of people who are blood related to each other.  It is my hope that they will realize that God brings all kinds of people together, from all over the world to work for His good, and for the good of all of His children.  

Generally I'm all for "traditional" things.  Traditional households (moms who stay home, dads who work), traditional families (one mom, one dad, several kids who all belong to the same set of parents), traditional gender roles.  This is the one case where I'm hoping that "tradition" will change!  I hope that when my kids grow up people will not think it out of the ordinary for people of all skin colors to claim to be brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, parents and children.  

Now...that being said...

I'm aware that there are going to be new things to think about because we are not only adding a child to our family through adoption, but the child is coming from an African country.  Here is my list of things that need thought before our child comes home:

1.  Hair Care (Lincoln wants to keep it shaved, I want to let it grow...I think if I agree to do the care, he'll agree to it.  This is also something Kara needs to brush up on for me!)

2.  Names (I talked about this briefly in a previous post, but we need to decide - based on the age of the child - how we are going to handle his name)

3.  Heritage (we feel like there is a very fine line between keeping his Ethiopian heritage alive - which I would love to do - and singling him out of the family )

4.  Negative comments (we need to equip our children with "ready-made" responses for when they are questioned about their brother's skin color)

My First Dream

Last night I had my first dream of our new little boy.  I never saw his face, but I did feel him in my arms, and kiss his pudgy cheeks.  I also heard his name.  This was kind of funny because I've been thinking a lot lately about his name.  Chances are that we will get an older child who already knows and responds to his name.  If this is the case we obviously will not change his name all together.  I do fear that it will be a name that is difficult for others to say, so I've been brainstorming and praying that it might be a name that we could pull a section out of to use as a "nickname" of sorts.  

I won't share the name I heard in my dream, but it was an African sounding name that actually sounds very much like the name I would like to use if we get a young child who does not know his name already.  It also had a very easy section to pull out that is a name that Hunter LOVES!  

My dream gave me a sense of peace that our baby is okay and will be okay until he gets to his forever home with us.

Waiting already?!

I thought the waiting game wasn't supposed to start until after you have your home study and dossier done and in the mail...

I'm feeling like I'm already playing a waiting game, mostly due to my lack of organization and decision making skills.  We are currently waiting on our tax forms (lack of organization) to arrive in the mail to complete our official application for AAI.  We are also waiting on our packet from our home study to arrive (lack of decision making skills).  It won't even be mailed out until Monday.  Hopefully we'll get it by Wednesday at the latest since they are located in STL.   

Once we get those two things going I will feel better, but for now I am praying for peace of mind and heart...I feel so very helpless in this whole situation and that is not a feeling I am used to.  I am realizing more and more what a control freak I am - I really don't like depending on others to provide me with what I need to reach a goal.  

I'm hoping that next Easter we will be close to a court or travel date to bring home our child...

My Heart Sings

Today Hunter was playing with the neighborhood kids and out of the blue started singing 

Hunter:

"Savior, 

He can move the mountains, 

my God is mighty to save, 

He is mighty to save, 

Forever, Author of Salvation, 

He rose and conquered the grave, 

Jesus conquered the grave!"

Girl:

"What are you singing"?

Hunter:

"Have you ever heard that song?"

Girl:

"No"

Hunter:

"You should hear it, it's really good!"

It makes my heart sing when I hear Hunter praising God and telling others about Him!  :0)

Waiting Already?!

* This was originally posted on my adoption blog.

I thought the waiting game wasn't supposed to start until after you have your home study and dossier done and in the mail...

I'm feeling like I'm already playing a waiting game, mostly due to my lack of organization and decision making skills. We are currently waiting on our tax forms (lack of organization) to arrive in the mail to complete our official application for AAI. We are also waiting on our packet from our home study to arrive (lack of decision making skills). It won't even be mailed out until Monday. Hopefully we'll get it by Wednesday at the latest since they are located in STL.

Once we get those two things going I will feel better, but for now I am praying for peace of mind and heart...I feel so very helpless in this whole situation and that is not a feeling I am used to. I am realizing more and more what a control freak I am - I really don't like depending on others to provide me with what I need to reach a goal.

I'm hoping that next Easter we will be close to a court or travel date to bring home our child...

You can always come home for advice

I'm so blessed that this statement is true in my life.  God has given me a mother who I know I can always count on.  She is always there when I need her.  I've never been let down when I needed to talk with my mom.   She is always willing to sit for hours and listen to me talk in circles, cry, or complain.  She rejoices with me in the joys in life and comforts me in the dark times.  I know that her home is always open to me, my family, and even friends.  I can count on her for sound, Christ-centered advice.  She is one of my greatest blessings.

"My child...listen carefully.  Don't lose sight of my words.  Let them penetrate deep within your heart."  Proverbs 4:20-21

Baby Fever

It's struck the Redburn home again.  This time in full force...both Ashley AND Lincoln have it!  We are blessed with several friends who have added or are adding to their families in a very short time frame.  

John and Tina Spurgeon added Owen John on March 29th.

Ben and Hilary Smith added baby Isacc Thomas on the 8th of April.  (It was after talking to Ben that Lincoln got baby fever...and then he spent the day in STL with the Smith's today, and it's gotten worse!)

Corey and Nel Fuhring added Abby Lynn also on the 8th of April.  

Chris and Megan Zika are due May 17th with their first...

and...

Daniel and Dani Chrisco are waiting their travel date to bring home their baby boy Pheonix from Ethiopia!  

We just can't wait until it's our turn again!  It's hard to know that it's going to be much longer than a regular pregnancy, but exciting to experience something new this time around!

Baby Fever

*This was originally posted on my adoption blog.

It's struck the Redburn home again. This time in full force...both Ashley AND Lincoln have it! We are blessed with several friends who have added or are adding to their families in a very short time frame.

John and Tina Spurgeon added Owen John on March 29th.

Ben and Hilary Smith added baby Isacc Thomas on the 8th of April. (It was after talking to Ben that Lincoln got baby fever...and then he spent the day in STL with the Smith's today, and it's gotten worse!)

Corey and Nel Fuhring added Abby Lynn also on the 8th of April.

Chris and Megan Zika are due May 17th with their first...

and...

Daniel and Dani Chrisco are waiting their travel date to bring home their baby boy Pheonix from Ethiopia!

We just can't wait until it's our turn again! It's hard to know that it's going to be much longer than a regular pregnancy, but exciting to experience something new this time around!

Your Grace is Enough

* This was originally posted on my adoption blog

Your Grace is enough Lord! Thank you so much!!

Today we had a blessing. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but so be it, right?! This blog is all about honesty about the adoption process, so here it is folks! Lincoln and I are extremely disorganized when it comes to files. We don't keep anything that we should. Sad, but true. So...we're on a hunt for the front page of our 1040's (tax returns) from '06, '07, and '08.

Where to start...well, obviously with the IRS right?! So...I call. I sit on hold for about an hour. I finally talk to someone and of course it's the WRONG department. She gives the correct number to call. I call and wait for another 10 minutes or so.

I tell the woman what I need and she explains to me that it will be 57.00 per year and will take 60 days to receive. After a loud sigh and a "are you kidding me?!" from my end she asks what is wrong. I tell her that we are adopting and that we don't have 60 days to wait or the extra 170.00 to pay. She says "oh, it's for your adoption agency?" "Yes", I say. "Oh, no problem sweetheart, I'll wave the fee and get them to you in 7-10 days!" "Oh, thank you Jesus - and you too! I'm so grateful! You've been such a blessing to us!"

This stranger reminded me today that there are kind people in the world who want to help others. Thank you dear IRS worker...you have banished all horrible stereo-types I put on the IRS and shown me God's grace when I needed it the most.

So, our tax forms are on their way, they are the last bit of paperwork that I need for this part of the paper chase! :0) Yippy!

Tomorrow...? Scheduling our first apt. with our home study agency! :0)

Thanks for turning around my day!

Thanks to my great girlfriend who showed up at my house this morning bearing gifts because she knew I'd had a hard week.  She came in her lounge clothes (because that's all I wear), with a 42 oz. sweet tea and a brownie melt from McDonalds for each of us.  We sat at the table and visited and ate.  It was the perfect thing after my long week!  

I am so grateful that God has sent me good friends in my life who keep me grounded and encouraged (and well fed!).  

Easter Egg Dying

Hunter has always loved to dye Easter eggs.  We have dyed them since his very first Easter (that's right, he was 7 months old!).  We used to spread a picnic table cloth down on the table, set up the dye and set him on the table with it all.  This past year he was old enough to skip the plastic table cover...still, very little mess!  He gets a kick out of cracking one and "having" to eat it on the spot...amazing that we end up with any eggs left to leave for the Easter Bunny to hide!  :0)  

Your Grace Is Enough

Your Grace is enough Lord!  Thank you so much!!  

Today we had a blessing.  I'm embarrassed to admit this, but so be it, right?!  This blog is all about honesty about the adoption process, so here it is folks!  Lincoln and I are extremely disorganized when it comes to files.  We don't keep anything that we should.  Sad, but true.  So...we're on a hunt for the front page of our 1040's (tax returns) from '06, '07, and '08.  

Where to start...well, obviously with the IRS right?!  So...I call.  I sit on hold for about an hour.  I finally talk to someone and of course it's the WRONG department.  She gives the correct number to call.  I call and wait for another 10 minutes or so.  

I tell the woman what I need and she explains to me that it will be 57.00 per year and will take 60 days to receive.  After a loud sigh and a "are you kidding me?!" from my end she asks what is wrong.  I tell her that we are adopting and that we don't have 60 days to wait or the extra 170.00 to pay.  She says "oh, it's for your adoption agency?"  "Yes", I say.  "Oh, no problem sweetheart, I'll wave the fee and get them to you in 7-10 days!"  "Oh, thank you Jesus - and you too!  I'm so grateful!  You've been such a blessing to us!"  

This stranger reminded me today that there are kind people in the world who want to help others.  Thank you dear IRS worker...you have banished all horrible stereo-types I put on the IRS and shown me God's grace when I needed it the most.  

So, our tax forms are on their way, they are the last bit of paperwork that I need for this part of the paper chase!  :0)  Yippy!  

Tomorrow...?  Scheduling our first apt. with our home study agency!  :0)

Spring Cleaning

We are deep into spring cleaning our house.  This cleaning is serving many purposes and it feels great!  1.  We are gathering things for an adoption yard sale.  2.  We are preparing our house for our home study.  3.  It is giving me something other than the adoption to focus on!!!  

So far we have done Lincoln and I's closet and bathroom, and Hunter's room is being done today!  Yippy!!!  

Clean Out!

I've got the fever people!  I want to clean out my house!  I want to get rid of so many things and am not sure what the best way to do it is.  Here are a few of the items that I need to get rid of:

• A diamond ring
• A solid gold men's band
• Books
• CD's
• DVD's
• XBox games
• Clothes (kids, adults, and maternity)
• Toys
• Decorations
• Baby gear (swing, bouncy seat, etc.)
• Coats
• Jewelry
  
• Art supplies

I want to have a yard sale, but I'm not sure if it would be better to take some of the things to a consignment store, pawn shop, etc.  

What have you found works best?

Awesome Video

Here is an awesome video that says so much of what I want to say about our adoption.  My friend Kim found it for me (she's slightly addicted to youtube!  lol).  Thanks Kim...your loving support means the world to us!  We can't wait for our new addition to experience a Fun Friday with you!  :0)

Pampered Chef Adoption Fundraiser!

Hello everyone!

My good friend Jennifer Shaner is a Pampered Chef Consultant.  She is very kindly running a Pampered Chef fundraiser for our adoption!

Who:  Everyone you know!  If you can not order, please forward this email on to anyone you know that might be interested in ordering.  If you would like a catalog to pass around work or your friends, please let me know and I'll get you one!

What:  Pampered Chef Party / Adoption Fundraiser!

Where:  Anywhere that's convenient for you!  I'm having a cooking show in my home (215 Lois) that I would love for you to attend, but if you can not, you may place an order with me in person, over the phone, through email, or online at:  http://www.pamperedchef.biz/jshaner

When:  Now-April 28th

Why:  We are raising money for our adoption!  Currently we are saving for our first payment to our agency.  We can't wait to give our new child a loving home and would appreciate any help you are able to give!

**Many of you may receive this message in an email, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to post it on here as well!  :0)

Pampered Chef Adoption Fundraiser!

Hello everyone!

My good friend Jennifer Shaner is a Pampered Chef Consultant.  She is very kindly running a Pampered Chef fundraiser for our adoption!

Who:  Everyone you know!  If you can not order, please forward this email on to anyone else you know that might be interested in placing an order.  If you would like a catalog to take to work or pass around your friends, please let me know and I'll get one to you!

What:  Pampered Chef Party / Adoption Fundraiser!

Where:  Anywhere that's convenient for you!  I am having a cooking show in my home (215 Lois) that I would love for you to attend, but if you can not, you may place an order with me in person, over the phone, through email, or online at:  http:www.pamperedchef.biz/jshaner

When:  Now - April 28th

Why:  We are raising money for our adoption.  Currently we are saving for our first payment to our agency.  We can't wait to give our new child a loving home and would appreciate all the help you're able to give!  

**Many of you may receive this same message in an email, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to post it on here as well!  :0)

Picking a Homestudy Agency

* This was originally posted on my adoption blog

You have to be careful when picking a Home Study Agency! Although there are a few here in Missouri that are very similar in price you must also take into account what they require of you. Some require one in-home visit, some require two or three. You must take into account the milage cost of these visits (because there aren't any close to STJ of course!). Do they charge by the hour or by the mile?

Do they require any educational courses...and if so do you have to travel to the workshop, do you have to purchase the books or DVDs, or will they be provided to you with the agency fee?

Is the home study agency willing to sign a cooperating agreement form with your Adoption Agency?

What is their response when you ask about the wait time after all the paperwork is completed? I have heard anywhere from 5 weeks to "I have no idea, I guess however long it takes to get back the fingerprints and such". (wow...definitely not going with THAT agency! ha ha)

We will pick our home study agency this afternoon...I'm anxious to get this part of the adoption over with! :0)

Picking a Home Study Agency

You have to be careful when picking a Home Study Agency! Although there are a few here in Missouri that are very similar in price you must also take into account what they require of you. Some require one in-home visit, some require two or three. You must take into account the milage cost of these visits (because there aren't any close to STJ of course!). Do they charge by the hour or by the mile?

Do they require any educational courses...and if so do you have to travel to the workshop, do you have to purchase the books or DVDs, or will they be provided to you with the agency fee?

Is the home study agency willing to sign a cooperating agreement form with your Adoption Agency?

What is their response when you ask about the wait time after all the paperwork is completed? I have heard anywhere from 5 weeks to "I have no idea, I guess however long it takes to get back the fingerprints and such". (wow...definitely not going with THAT agency! ha ha)

We will pick our home study agency this afternoon...I'm anxious to get this part of the adoption over with! :0)

I Was Jealous, I admit it

I was in my girlfriend Amy's wedding this weekend. It was a beautiful Catholic wedding complete with a wedding party of 14 (including the bride and groom) and wedding photos all around Forest Park and the Arch. It was wonderful, and I hope the bride and groom enjoyed it even more then I did. Amy looked stunning in her halter top, mermaid style, beaded, white gown, and Simon looked very handsome in his tux, complete with suspenders and bow tie. He cried like a baby when she walked down the aisle escorted by her father...

Which brings me to my jealousy. I'm jealous of women who have their fathers. I'll admit it. For a long time I pretended like it didn't bother me. The phrase "I've lived this many years without him and I'm doing just fine" was often heard out of my mouth. That phrase is true, but the part that wasn't ever stated was "...but there are some things that only a father can do for his daughter."

I'm sad that my dad wasn't there at my wedding rehearsal to admit to all the bridesmaids that he was going to need a hanky more than they would. I'm sad that I didn't have my dad there waiting anxiously outside of the room to be the very first one to see me in my wedding dress. I'm sad that my dad wasn't there to walk me down the aisle and shake Lincoln's hand. I'm sad that I didn't have a dad to do a father / daughter dance to at my reception.

There are everyday things that I'm sad my dad isn't here to do. After the Maid of Honor gave her speech, her dad came up to her and said "Great job Katie!" She responded with "I was nervous dad", and he said "I know, but you did a wonderful job!" I'm sure she didn't think another thing of that conversation, but I did. I haven't had one of those conversations with my dad for going on 7 years.

Girls...don't ever start taking your dad for granted...no matter how old you get, because sometimes Dad's can do and say things that just aren't the same coming from anyone else.

Life Lesson

* This was originally posted on my adoption blog

I've already been made aware that I'm going to learn lots of "Life Lessons" though this adoption process.

Pay close attention to the people God sends you.

We are ever looking for doors that God is opening in this process. We have been blessed by some people that God has sent us already.

1. Our families. They have accepted this adoption with open arms. We are so grateful.

2. Elaine. She is a wonderful woman who willing came to our home a year ago to discuss international adoption with us toward the beginning of our investigation stage. She prepared materials for us and spent her time educating us on the process, cost, and blessings. We thank her for her time and energy in supporting us.

3. Amy. She is our PAT lady and now a friend of mine. She has encouraged us over the last few months as we have toyed around with the idea of actually starting the process. She is the one who said the words "if you have it all figured out and know exactly how it's going to happen, it's probably not a God thing. God wants us to rely on Him to figure it out." Those words have never left my head after that conversation in my driveway and I can't thank her enough for them!

4. Daniel and Danielle. Dear friends of ours for several years who we miss terribly! They are waiting to pass court so that they can go pick up their son from Ethiopia and have been an amazing sounding board for us so far. I have called Dani late at night, and flooded her inbox with email questions...she's been an angel.

"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2

Life Lesson #1

I've already been made aware that I'm going to learn lots of "Life Lessons" though this adoption process.

Pay close attention to the people God sends you.

We are ever looking for doors that God is opening in this process. We have been blessed by some people that God has sent us already.

1. Our families. They have accepted this adoption with open arms. We are so grateful.

2. Elaine. She is a wonderful woman who willing came to our home a year ago to discuss international adoption with us toward the beginning of our investigation stage. She prepared materials for us and spent her time educating us on the process, cost, and blessings. We thank her for her time and energy in supporting us.

3. Amy. She is our PAT lady and now a friend of mine. She has encouraged us over the last few months as we have toyed around with the idea of actually starting the process. She is the one who said the words "if you have it all figured out and know exactly how it's going to happen, it's probably not a God thing. God wants us to rely on Him to figure it out." Those words have never left my head after that conversation in my driveway and I can't thank her enough for them!

4. Daniel and Danielle. Dear friends of ours for several years who we miss terribly! They are waiting to pass court so that they can go pick up their son from Ethiopia and have been an amazing sounding board for us so far. I have called Dani late at night, and flooded her inbox with email questions...she's been an angel.

"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2

So Blessed!

* This was originally posted on my adoption blog

After we sent out the email yesterday we had so many positive responses! We are so blessed to have family and friends around us that are supportive of our decisions. We've had people offer to help in the planning, financially, by praying for us, people who have connections in Ethiopia, and people who have encouraged us in our parenting.

Thank you Lord for surrounding us with people who love You, us, and our children.

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow will all be slow days on progress. I am in Amy's wedding this weekend, and don't have much time to work on things. I hoping that things will slow down enough for Lincoln and I to go over the home study agencies together on Sunday evening and choose one of those.

This adoption has just proven to be so consuming. It's much more like being pregnant than I thought it would be. I think about it all the time...I spend all my free time researching it. I am so lucky that God is allowing me to experience both ways of having children!

Sometimes I like to...

My kids and I have discovered a new favorite children's book!  

I found this book while I was in STL yesterday for a wedding rehearsal and I couldn't help but buy it.  First of all it was in an adorable little gift shop downtown, secondly I thought it was a fun lyrical story about enjoying all kinds of things.  I bought it in the board book style so that there would be no worries about tearing of pages.  Hunter likes to act out all the actions in the story and Graysen loves to sit on my lap and laugh at her brother while we read.  

A highly recommended story for all kids!

At age 4.5

At age 4.5 Hunter has decided who he's going to marry.  His sister!  :0)  He told Lincoln last night that when they get old enough he is going to marry Graysen.  How sweet is that?  I talked to him about it this morning and he said, I know you have to love the person that you want to marry and want to be with them forever and I love Graysen and want to be with her forever, so I'll marry her!  :0)

Doesn't get any more precious than that.

So blessed!

After we sent out the email yesterday we had so many positive responses! We are so blessed to have family and friends around us that are supportive of our decisions. We've had people offer to help in the planning, financially, by praying for us, people who have connections in Ethiopia, and people who have encouraged us in our parenting.

Thank you Lord for surrounding us with people who love You, us, and our children.

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow will all be slow days on progress. I am in Amy's wedding this weekend, and don't have much time to work on things. I hoping that things will slow down enough for Lincoln and I to go over the home study agencies together on Sunday evening and choose one of those.

This adoption has just proven to be so consuming. It's much more like being pregnant than I thought it would be. I think about it all the time...I spend all my free time researching it. I am so lucky that God is allowing me to experience both ways of having children!

Redburn Family News

Friends and Family,

Lincoln and I wanted to let you all know some special news that we are very excited about...

WE ARE ADOPTING! :0)

We have been feeling God call our hearts for a few years now and have decided that now is the time to follow. We have entered an Ethiopian program and are looking at a 12-18 month time frame. Seems like a long time, but we know that God has our baby already knit with us and we can't wait to meet them!

We will be updating a new blog (redburnbabydoll.blogspot.com) daily and would love for you all to follow along the ride with us! We will also be sending out email updates on the major milestones. Because of Ethiopian laws, we have to keep our blog private, but if you would like access to it, reply to this email and I will send you an "invitation" to view it.
We would appreciated your prayers as we travel this path.

Lots of love,
The 4 Redburn's (soon to be 5!)

Redburn Family News

Friends and Family,

Lincoln and I wanted to let you all know some special news that we are very excited about...

WE ARE ADOPTING! :0)

We have been feeling God call our hearts for a few years now and have decided that now is the time to follow. We have entered an Ethiopian program and are looking at a 12-18 month time frame. Seems like a long time, but we know that God has our baby already knit with us and we can't wait to meet them!

We will be updating a new blog (redburnbabydoll.blogspot.com) daily and would love for you all to follow along the ride with us! We will also be sending out email updates on the major milestones. Because of Ethiopian laws, we have to keep our blog private, but if you would like access to it, reply to this email and I will send you an "invitation" to view it.
We would appreciated your prayers as we travel this path.

Lots of love,
The 4 Redburn's (soon to be 5!)

Day 7 - Already a Week!

* This was originally posted on my adoption blog

Wow...today marks 1 week since we made the commitment to follow God's calling and adopt our child from Ethiopia. This has been on my heart for several years now, and I honestly think that I have ALWAYS pictured myself with a multi-cultural family. It's amazing how much I have learned in the past week and how much more farther we have to go!!

I thought today, for the first time, about how we (and our children) are going to handle the negative comments from small minded individuals who are disapproving of our multi-cultural family. I am adding this to my list of prayer concerns with God! :0)

It makes me feel better thinking that I'm doing something toward bringing my baby home everyday, so I will try to include a list of accomplishments (I'm trying to use positive words...lol).

Accomplishments:

• Got a return email from AAI...read through all their information.
• Talked to PCB - not very encouraging phone call
• Emailed AAI with a couple of questions, had several emails back and forth
• Talked to a few more possible home study agencies
• Wrote a letter to friends and family announcing the news
• Told our Bible Study group. This will be a huge help to me knowing that I can openly count on these people to be praying for the safety of my baby so far away from me, and for us.

Day 7 - Already a week!

Wow...today marks 1 week since we made the commitment to follow God's calling and adopt our child from Ethiopia. This has been on my heart for several years now, and I honestly think that I have ALWAYS pictured myself with a multi-cultural family. It's amazing how much I have learned in the past week and how much more farther we have to go!!

I thought today, for the first time, about how we (and our children) are going to handle the negative comments from small minded individuals who are disapproving of our multi-cultural family. I am adding this to my list of prayer concerns with God! :0)

It makes me feel better thinking that I'm doing something toward bringing my baby home everyday, so I will try to include a list of accomplishments (I'm trying to use positive words...lol).

Accomplishments:

• Got a return email from AAI...read through all their information.
• Talked to PCB - not very encouraging phone call
• Emailed AAI with a couple of questions, had several emails back and forth
• Talked to a few more possible home study agencies
• Wrote a letter to friends and family announcing the news
• Told our Bible Study group. This will be a huge help to me knowing that I can openly count on these people to be praying for the safety of my baby so far away from me, and for us.

Like brother, like sister

Graysen adores Hunter.  Everyday she wants to be more and more like him.  I find her trying to copy him in ways I couldn't have imagined she understood at this age.  Here is just one example of how much she wants to be just like him - already!