Wedding

"Mom, who is going to Wedding me? No one will Wedding me! Not Hunter, not Silas, not Blake! I'm a Princess, and no one will Wedding me!!!"

Valentine's Love Cookies: DIY Craft

I found this adorable craft at Babe Of My Heart. I fell in love with it because it was something that I felt like spoke truth into my children on a holiday when the world is consumed with fakeness and fleeting "love". It's also something that you can keep and use year after year!

These are Valentine's Day "Fortune" Cookies! I made 14 for each of my children. They will each be able to open one every morning from Feb. 1 - 14. I hope that this will start their day off better and fill them with words of love from their parents and the Lord. I think this would be an awesome thing even for spouses to do for one another!

Things to Gather:
felt sheets (enough for each child to have 14 circles - I got 6 circles out of each of my sheets)
pencil
circle (something you can trace around - I used my Pampered Chef Prep Bowl and it was perfect!)
hot glue gun
wire (florist wire or pipe cleaners)
scissors
printer

Step 1: Trace 4 inch circles on your pieces of felt.



Step 2: Cut your circles out.

Step 3: Cut wire (I used pipe cleaners) in the diameter of your circles.

Step 4: Hot glue your wire (florist wire probably works better, but pipe cleaners work fine...) across the center of your circle.

Step 5: Print out (or write out) words of affirmation and love for each of your cookies. I used the following verses (provided by Andrea), and then wrote little love notes to each of my children. Each of my children will receive 7 love notes from God and 7 from Lincoln and I.

You are a child of God. (John 1:12).

You are a friend of Jesus. (John 15:15).

The disobedience of the past no longer matters! You get to start fresh with Jesus! (Romans 6:6).

Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and lives in your heart! (1 Corinthians 6:19)

Because of God’s mercy and love, you have been made alive with Christ. (Ephesians 2:4-5)

You are God’s creation made to produce good things! (Ephesians 2:10).

You have boldness and confident access to God through faith in Christ. (Ephesians 3:12).

God will supply all your needs. (Philippians 4:19).

The peace of God will guard your heart and mind! (Philippians 4:7).

You have been chosen of God, and you are holy and beloved. (Colossians 3:12).

God loves you! He chose YOU! (1 Thessalonians 1:4).

God loves you and the world! If you believe in Him---you will live forever with Him! (John 3:16)

If you make Christ is your life, then you too will be with Him in heaven. (Colossians 3:4).

You are chosen, holy, and blameless before God. (Ephesians 1:4).

Step 6: Fold your words of love inside.

Step 7: Fold, pinch, and you've got your Love Cookies!

Let me know if you do this craft with your family, I'd love to know how your children or spouse respond to it!!!

Wonder

Do you ever wonder why God sent YOU on this journey?
Today is one of those days.

I try to remind God that I'm not smart enough
or strong enough for this ride He's sent me on...

I think He laughs.

If you have to help Mom...

you might as well make it fun!

One of Graysen's jobs during the day is to carry their dirty laundry into the laundry room. Here she is carrying the empty hamper back to her bedroom.

Epic Failure turned Success!

*warning...this post may contain too much information (TMI) for some of you readers. I will talk openly about women's monthly cycles (okay, not women's, just mine!)...
It's amazing how something that I'm just "sure" is going to be an epic failure can turn into a success! This week I lost 2.2 pounds! I was just positive that I hadn't lost any weight this week because I definitely don't feel it, and I've eaten terribly this week! Let me clarify. When I say terribly, I don't mean that I've gone over my points on any given day (except maybe 1), but that I have spent all of my points on junk food...like this!


My week started good with walking, but came to a halting stop when *TMI* I started my period. This is only my second period in 4 years (yes, since before I got pregnant with Graysen). I had my first one last month (and lost 3.4 lbs that week - my all time week high!), but I would not say that it was a "typical" period. This month it came with full force - back aches, bloating, and moodiness. (Oh, my poor family.) I think my bloating is why I don't feel like I've lost any weight...I guess this is one way a scale is a good thing. Also, I will contribute my ridiculous ice cream consumption to this.

This week I plan on returning to my walking plan (a goal of 2 miles a day) and cooking most meals from this cookbook: That brings my weight loss to an even 16 pounds! It feels good to have overcome that "15" mark. Hopefully I will be able to report back to you on another good weight loss week next week!

Here's to healthy living!!!

Ashley

Chicago 2010

I was blessed to get a weekend away to Chicago with Kelley and Molly again this year! We went in 2008 with Jayna (wish you could've been there this year too Jay!), and we were super excited to get back to Chicago to return to our favorite spots and discover new ones!

In random order...here are the highlights from our trip!

The girls found super cheap airline tickets, so we went that route rather than the train, like we took last time...whew, that 1/2 hour in the air was WAY better than the 6 hours on the train!! This picture was on the way there, because on the way back we were overtaken by a man who "was going to leave us alone now"...but never did!

This is me in the Ethiopian store that we found. The bus ride took us forever to get there (in a rather sketchy part of town), and the store owner was anything BUT friendly (sorry Kel!), but I did get some shrio and berbre that my sons have loved!

I purchased my first pair of TOMS! I have been wanting a pair for a year or so, but have never let myself buy them...what better time to indulge, than on vacation?! If you don't know about TOMS, you must go here and read more. Really, I just paid about 22.00 for shoes, because I bought a pair for a child in need - there's nothing better! They are the most comfortable shoes I've ever had, no lie!

We had lunch at The Walnut Room in Macy's. Not only was it wonderful food, but the tree in the center of the room was amazing. Seriously, this picture does not even start to do it justice!

Of course we hit the American Girl Doll store! Can you go to Chicago and not go? I think not! All I purchased this year was a pair of cowgirl boots for Gray's dolls to match the ones she was getting for Christmas. This place is a girl's dream (big or little!). I just have to take a deep breath when I walk in. It's magical.

We saw the Joffery Ballet perform The Nutcracker. It was very cool to see them perform in their home theater. I love going to the Ballet and can never remember why I don't go more often. A night at the theater is my idea of a perfect night. I love getting dressed up, seeing the elegant building, seeing the lights go down, hearing the first strains of music, and seeing the dancers float across the stage. I get lost in the beauty.

We had an afternoon at the spa! We got hour long chocolate massages, and 1/2 hour cinnamon sugar scrubs. Wow. We drank mimosas while we waited in our fluffy robes, and sat and watched the snow fall on the city sidewalks (literally)!

We walked Michigan Ave...again, and again, and again! I love Chicago in the winter time! The air is crisp, the decorations are wonderful, and I get to skip down the sidewalks singing Christmas Carols with my friends!


We sat in lots of cupcake shoppes! I've never been to another city where cupcakes are "the thing"...but I like it! We enjoyed flavors we'd never had, and our favorite flavors. We drank milk with our cupcakes. We took pictures of the quirky decorations. We dreamed of opening something like this ourselves at home.

We visited the German Christmas market. It was pouring rain (although you can't tell it in this picture), so we didn't stay long, but it was fun thing to see!

...and I wrote a letter to Santa!

It's like a birthday wish...what I wrote is a secret!

I am already looking forward to our next girls vacation together girls...are we going to stick with Chicago or head south next time?! Thank you each for our friendship and what you give me. I'm blessed to have you in my life.

No words, only a content heart from this momma.

Love.

what do we do on snow day #3?

Clean the top of the fridge....gross!!!!!
We bake (looks gross, right?) really good WW cakes. Just mix any flavor cake mix and a can of pumpkin (not pie filling)...stick it in the oven....it's delicious!
Work on letters (what's the letter, what sound does it make, give me 2 words that start with that letter)...
Watch some good old fashioned cartoons...

Get ready to go sledding with Aunt Sissy and Chad!

Help Mommy clean house...

This brought tears to my eyes. I walked into the living room and saw all three boys scrunched together on the couch sounding out a book together. The celebrated everyone's success as they sounded out each word and read the sentences together out loud. It was precious to this momma's ears.
and last but not least...make up great indoor games to play!



They told me the needed some "basketball music"...like the music they play while the Varsity warms up. Well, I definitely don't have any of that kind of music, but I thought the Freaky Friday soundtrack might be good enough - it was! So, they were pumped up, and Graysen and I stood back and laughed and laughed at them. Yes...we're crazy (and I LOVE it)!!

Some thoughts

I did a really hard thing a few days ago. I sat in on a murder trial. After I left I just felt dirty. Like, needed a shower dirty. I also felt the need to soak in lots of God's precious, clean word. My body felt dirty being that close to someone who had committed such a horrific act, and my mind felt dirty hearing all of those terrible things. On the way home I had a small realization of what God must feel like listening to all our of conversations and seeing the way that we act. We are so unworthy of Him...and He must feel the need to shower and get clean again...all. the. time.

On to more low key things...

I've decided I need to keep a "snow day stash" in my house. I always feel very unprepared for snow days! Like I have no fun activities planned for my kids, and we haven't been baking much, because I can't eat of those kinds of sweets right now. So, when I get desperate I just dump a bunch of art supplies on the table and let them "go at it"! Today's activity included wiggle eyes, glue, foam, stickers, scissors, sticks, and stencils.


I've also realized lately that my kids need direction to play. They need me to present them with a "challenge" of sorts in order for them to do anything but wrestle or play football (yes, in the house...I'm one of those moms). So, I've tried harder to give them specific things to do..."put together this puzzle", or "build me a city using every lego in this bucket"...


Hunter has been coming home with homework on Mondays lately! Yes, homework in Kindergarten! I'm not totally opposed to it, because in general it's been constructive things like writing his numbers 1-20, or writing his full name...yesterday he came home with a packet of papers and told me they were "in case we have a snow day"...which, sure enough, we had the very next day!

We've gotten a tutor for Blake. Okay, so the tutor is my aunt, but she's a retired teacher (this is her first year of retirement) and she is awesome! I wouldn't want to trust just anyone to work with him one on one, so this is the perfect set up! She has only worked with him once, because of the snow days this week, but we are going to set something up more regularly, and I hope that he gets big benefits from it (both academically, and emotionally). We saw the gap between him and "perfect" on the report card grow tremendously between first and second quarter and I just wanted to be proactive and get him help so that we can gradually close the gap rather than allowing it to continue to grow. Let's face it, this kid has huge mountains to cross - new family, new culture, new language, school for the first time in his life. He's doing beautifully, and I think he deserves the best help he can get!

I guess that's about all that's going on around this neck of the woods lately. The new season of Biggest Loser is on, but for some reason I'm not nearly as addicted this season as I was last...maybe it's because I'm on my own journey?! Speaking of, you're about to see a terrible picture (that I can't believe I'm posting on here) to hopefully help inspire some of you! Here I am, doing my daily work out (pre-shower for the day and everything!). I told you that I started walking 2 miles a day...but did I mention I'm lifting soup cans while I do it?! Yes, frugal me, isn't going to buy hand weights...I just sent my supportive husband into the kitchen to bring me soup cans! They are working great, and I just keep them by my treadmill. I do bicep curls, and tricep exercises...anything to keep moving my arms (and hopefully tone them in the process), burn more calories, and feel the burn! If I can sneak away from my 4 children for 40 minutes a day to walk 2 miles...I know you can do it too!!!


I have decided that my children's threshold is 13 minutes. That's how long they can go without needing me to do something for them. It doesn't matter if I set them in front of a movie, or instruct them to play in the playroom...I can't get more than 13 minutes to myself. They usually yell for me or come ask me something before the 13 minute mark, but I can usually hold them off with a "yes, no, hold on a minute". But...13 minutes and I have to quit what I'm doing and help them with something. Whew. Sometimes it takes me all day to get those 2 miles in!

I'm waiting for Lincoln to get home so we can watch this week's episode of The Bachelor. Yup, after 3 years of not watching it, I'm back at it. The last time I watched it Brad was The Bachelor, and I was on bedrest with Graysen...when I saw it was him again, I just had to tune in.

Check out this blog. She's a cute momma who is choosing adoption for their first child! They are doing a great giveaway just through Monday...so check her out, maybe donate to help them bring their child home, and enter the give away!

So, how was that for a random post?! Just a little insight into the everyday life of the rowdy Redburn bunch!

a few of my favorite things * Updated with Weight Loss*

**So, this week I walked 2 miles 5 days of the week...and it helped! I lost 2 pounds this week, bringing my total weight loss to 13.8 pounds. This is an average of 2 pounds a week! I am working hard to be at my goal weight by recital, which happens May 14th. We shall see... This is the first week that I've noticed some small differences. Exciting things this week include: a noticeable (to me) difference in the way my black dress pants fit, moving one ring from my ring finger to my middle finger because it was so loose I was afraid it might fall off, and noticing how easy it was to sit with my legs crossed! I also moved into another "tens" spot...never to go back to the others!

Lately I've been working hard to take notice of little things that I find everyday joy in. Here are two I noticed yesterday...

Sweet tea (sweetened with Splenda these days) out of a jar, and a new magazine!

knit dresses with leggings. throw a cardigan on top, pair them with warm, cozy socks at home, and it's the best!

What little things bring you joy?

A Year of Their Faces

One year ago this evening I was headed to work. I had spent the day emailing back and forth with AAI about twin 6 year old boys. I had read about them Saturday night via a mass email from our agency and to be honest, my "momma claws" came out then. I had spent Sunday and Monday (AAI was closed due to MLK Day) stewing over these boys who I just "knew" were ours (even though I hadn't seen a picture or knew anything about them!).

I had been told that we were not in line to receive their referral. That they were being offered to lots of other families. I was heartbroken. I cried before leaving for work telling Lincoln I was just heartbroken.

I was about a mile from work when I got a voice mail on my phone. No ring, just a voice mail. I listened to it and started shaking. It was from Susan, who works for AAI. She said that she had a file for twin 6 year old little boys ready to be reviewed if we would like to see it! I pulled the car over because I knew I couldn't talk and drive at the same time (not this conversation anyway!) and called her back.

I told her that yes, we would like to see the file and to please email it to me. I didn't ask their names, nothing. All I knew is that they were 6 years old and twin boys.

I didn't even call Lincoln! I immediately called my boss, and told her that I would not be able to make it to class that night. I called another girl who volunteered to cover for me, and I drove to on to the school that I was teaching at that afternoon. I walked in, explained that I had just gotten a phone call telling me about my two new sons and that I needed to get home. Luckily everyone was very supportive.

I left there and called Lincoln..."they're ours if we want them!" is all I could get out...but I was crying so hard he couldn't understand me. I took a few deep breaths and said again "the twin 6 year old boys are ours if we want them." "Of course we want them!" was his response. I explained that I had spoken with Susan and that I was on my way home. I told him there should be an email waiting for us and asked him to look to see if it was in my inbox...but made him promise he wouldn't open it without me!

I'm pretty sure I called Joanna approximately a million times on my way home and finally called Travis' phone. He told me that Joanna was at work, but celebrated with me and told me he would have her call me AS SOON as she got home.

I walked in the door and we got the video camera ready. The video of it is pretty hilarious...we tried to get Hunter to come with us to the computer to open the email and see their pictures, but he was nervous and shy with the camera on. I finally turned the camera off so that we could enjoy the moment as a family (well, the three of us - Gray was too young to understand).

When we opened the email we saw this:

Wow.

We had prayed from the start not to receive a referral that we should not accept, so we were sure that God intended these boys to be in our family. Odd, since we started the process with a request for one boy 0-18 months...but we trusted God!

My Grandma stopped by our house just moments after we saw their picture and I happily sat her down in front of the computer to show her her newest great grandsons! She was so excited! I can still see her smile and hear her tell Hunter "I think they resemble you!" ha. What a lady!

Lincoln had a basketball game (it was STJ Tourney week), so he had to get ready and leave, and I started planning on how to share the news with the rest of the family. I packed the kids up and went out to my Mom's house. I called her on the way and pretended that Hunter just wanted to see her before we went to the game. We walked in and Hunter said, "come here, Grammie, I have to show you something!". We went to the computer and I pulled up the email while she had her eyes closed. "Those are my brothers!" Hunter said! Mom was wonderful and immediately started printing out all the reports on them and their picture. She scoured the medical reports and looked up all their lab results while I went to the game.

After the basketball game we (Lincoln, the kids, and I) went out to his mom's house. We shared the news with her and she was super excited as well. It was so nice to finally be able to put a face (or faces!) with the love in our heart!!

Every time we got a new picture I would print it out and put it on the fridge. We stared at their faces, and tried to analyze their expressions. We tried to figure out how tall they were and what size clothing they would wear. We questioned their personalities. We dreamed of hearing their voices.

It all seems like a dream now. I'm amazed that it's been a year since our referral day...

and now we look at this everyday!

Blake Bizayehu and Silas Sintayehu - we started to fall in love with you 1 year ago. Today, you have stolen our hearts. You are our sons. You have opened our eyes, and our hearts. We can't imagine life without you. You will be our sons - our family...forever!

We love you to the ends of the earth,
Mom and Dad

I can't heal their hearts

I have been feeling very heavy lately under the "expectation" to heal my boys hearts.

To make them whole again, and to create them to be children who accept and give love freely.

Their hearts have been broken.
Broken by a mother who was not physically available to them, by a mother who laid unfathomable expectations on five year old boys, and by a world whose circumstances meant that they could not stay in the country and culture of which they were born.

These are great odds to over come.
Great canyons to cross.
But my boys are doing it.

I was reminded by this blogger that I can not heal their hearts.
No matter how much love I give them, how much time I give them...I can not heal them. My love will always fail. I will lose my patience, I will be physically gone for moments in time. My love is not perfect...and what their hearts need is a perfect love.

Perfect love comes from only one place, one person.
God.
God's love is perfect, God is the ultimate physician!
Only Jesus came make their hearts whole again, and fill them with a perfect, never ending, healing love.

Yes, I play a part. Yes, I can assist. Yes, I will try every day.

But I can not do it on my own.

And that realization is freeing.