This is how I know...

*This was originally posted on my adoption blog

My goodness...I can tell I'm going to learn a lot about myself through this process. I think I'm going to learn a lot about my trust in God, patience, diligence, organizational skills, planning, and money management.

I am so overwhelmed with not only the process of this adoption already, but with the feelings of love and desire for the child that God has planned to put in our home. It's amazing to me to think that before I was born, and before our baby was / is born, God has us knit together in His plan. I would never have thought that God had plans for me to travel half way around the world to bring home a child to love and raise. That is something much more awesome than I ever thought God had planned for me. I am feeling so privileged already to be a part of this!

I have always prayed for my children. I prayed for Hunter from the night I found out I was expecting him, and I prayed for each of my other children as we prepared to conceive them. I pray with them and for them every night when we go to sleep, and now I have one, if not more to pray for as well.

It is killing me not knowing if my child is born already, waiting for us to come and get them. I hope that they are being loved on every day, getting enough to eat, feeling God's arms wrapped around them while mine can not be, and resting comfortably at night. I hope that they smile and laugh and enjoy the others around them. I hope they feel my love from here.

If they are not born yet, I am praying for their birth parents. I can not imagine trying to take good care of my body for a growing baby in a nation where there is not enough food to eat. I can not fathom how the mother must feel everyday my baby is growing inside her womb knowing that she must let her baby go after it is born because she can not provide for it. I pray for her peace of mind. I pray she knows in her heart that I am here, waiting to love and provide for that baby just as I have my other children. I will continue to pray for her every day for the rest of my life, because giving a child up for adoption is probably the most selfless act one can make. I'm sure she will never forget our child, and although I will never meet her, I will never forget her.

This is how I know that adoption is right for my family right now. Our child(ren) are out there, and God has called us to bring them home!