This means 1 hour of every day will be spent rocking my children...having one on one conversation, maybe reading a story together, singing a song together, sharing our hearts.
This is going to be hard, but sooo worth it. I am going to attempt it for 28 days and see where we are... I can't promise I won't miss a day, but I'm going to really try to stay the course and invest this time in my children.
"Many of us are mothering children who came to us with broken hearts; it stretches us and sometimes we doubt our ability to help them become whole. In the nearly four years since our adopted children joined our family, we have sought many avenues of healing for them. One of the simplest and most profound means of encouraging attachment we’ve found is rocking our children in our big “Ugly Chair.”
On December 20th I began a personal challenge to rock Honeybee 15 minutes each day. It has not been easy, in fact, some days it is quite difficult — but I am hopeful.
Join me in the Rockin’ Mama Challenge!
(Rockin’ daddies also welcome)
- Join the challenge by clicking HERE.
- Rock your child for 15 minutes each day for 28 days. If possible, these should be consecutive days, but don’t let that stop you! Since starting the challenge, I have already missed two days. The perfectionist in me is tempted to give up, but the benefits of rocking cannot be denied, even when days are missed.
Some children cannot tolerate being touched and held for 15 minutes. You may want to try five minutes at a time with a goal of fifteen total minutes per day.
- Rock your child alone. Honeybee says, “no other kids allowed!” No phone, no books, no computer, no distractions.
- Keep a daily journal of rocking. All you need is one line to say how many minutes, what time of day, what you did – did you sit silently, sing, eat a cookie together, chew gum? Record any impact or change you see in your child’s behavior — and in your own, even if it is negative.
- Email me once each week or so to share what you are learning; email it to challenge@onethankfulmom.com. You can send a copy of your rocking journal, excerpts, a summary, or a one sentence observation.
- Start today, start New Year’s Day, start whenever you can. It is never too late to join the challenge. I will officially close the challenge on February 14th (time to start holding your hubby), so that I can collect the lessons you shared with me.
- Please share this link ( http://bit.ly/hWiC2O ) on your blog, twitter, facebook, etc. Encourage others to join us.
I will gather our experiences into one document that will be available on my blog. If enough people join us, maybe we will publish an ebook. Wouldn’t that be great?!
Let’s rock our children and give ourselves deeply to loving them and bringing healing to their hearts."
My journal, Day 1: started at 10:30 a.m. - rocked each 15 minutes (timed with my cell phone)
Hunter (6 years, bio) went first. We read a book and then looked through an eye spy book. He was happy and content on my lap, and when the timer went off, he happily hopped off and went to play.
Blake (6 years, adopted, home 7 months) was second. He wasn't nearly as relaxed on my lap as Hunter was, but wasn't wanting off either. We played rock paper scissors for a few minutes and then just talked and talked. He asked question upon question. When the timer went off he laid down and begged for more time. I told him that we would try to get in another session today and if not, definitely tomorrow.
Graysen (3 years, bio) was third. She was happy as we read a book two times and then just rocked and sang together. We sang "Graysen is my baby", and "Graysen is a pretty girl" (my mother made up the first one and sang it to me as a baby and my grandma taught my mom the second one.) When her time was up she was also disappointed and cried not wanting to get off. This is very common with her, as I hold her the majority of every day.
Silas (6 years, adopted, home 7 months) went last and he was not nearly as content on my lap as I expected him to be. He tried to get off several times and wanted to play with the Bop It, which I didn't allow. We read a short book together and played rock paper scissors just a few times. We talked some, and sat in silence some. He also didn't want to leave when his time was up. This made me laugh because he wanted off the majority of the time!
The rest of the day they were all very whiny and complaining. Just discontent in general. I think I will try this activity toward the end of the day tomorrow rather than toward the beginning...
Will you join me?!
4 comments:
I do this everyday, but I think its also the nature of my child's age. I think of it as lap time though, and we do usually read or sometimes sing. Other times its Curious George lap time and we whisper about the TV show.
I don't think I would like it to be called Rocking TIme or Lap time if I were a kid who was older, like 8! But you could always just spend quality, quiet time together reading or talking and touching legs or toes or something less "baby".
Mrs. Haid,
Yes, I can see where a lot of kids might not like the idea of "rocking" with Mom as they get older, but as of now, my three 6 year olds are CRAZY about it. They also love to sleep with us (when we allow it)...so I guess I'm just lucky that they still enjoy that contact with us.
We'll see how it plays out as they get older...hopefully we won't NEED it anymore by then and it will just be for ME when I am missing them being babies! :0)
I was just telling a fellow mommy the other day, how I am home with my children everyday but feel like we lack having one on one time together. I think this is the perfect solution(or at least a good start)! So although we have no adopted children in our home (YET!), I believe I will do this with my bio children! Count me in on the "challenge".
What a wonderful idea! We are hoping to be foster parents soon and I am going to keep this in mind. My girls are 12 and 10 and I miss all those sweet times of rocking them, but I do still read to them. They still love it and I think this love comes from all the times I read to them when they were little while we rocked. I know you will see so many benefits from the time you spend rocking!
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