I lost my all time weekly high this past week - 5.4 pounds! I should've been elated...and at first I was! But, my next thought was..."let's go get a blizzard to celebrate!" It was an odd feeling when I processed that statement in my head. I can't get an ice cream to celebrate weight loss.
I didn't feel as excited as I should have the rest of the day. I felt like I was robbed of a celebration. I started having not so healthy thoughts about my weight loss and body image. I felt like 5.4 pounds wasn't enough. I started imagining in my head that nothing about my body had changed. I even started focusing on the changes that have occurred that I do not like...things like how my already oblong face is even more pronounced when I lose weight...things like me oddly feeling 7 feet tall like a giant all of a sudden ...things like...well, you don't want to know the rest. ;0)
I did discuss this with Lincoln this morning and asked him honestly if he had been able to notice a change. He was kind about it, letting me know that yes, he definitely had, but hadn't wanted to say anything because then he would be insinuating that I was fat before. He told me specifically what areas of my body he had seen a change in, and encouraged me to have a more positive attitude.
My husband has always made me feel attractive, but it was really nice to hear that he was finding me more attractive 24.2 pounds lighter...just in time, because we're about to hit that 7 year itch.
I guess I write this more as self discovery...and acknowledgment that weight loss isn't easy. It's not just about losing pounds. Weight loss and healthy body image is a deep, intricate thing. It takes a careful balancing act.
4 comments:
First off congrats on 24.2 pounds lost! I do understand how you feel and how one thought can turn in to a lot of negative things. I personally never notice the changes when I lose weight. It is a very hard balancing act. And you are right celebrating with food is a very common thing more common than we really realize. You think oh I went to the gym and worked out I can have that cookie or milk shake. Be proud of the success and lifesyle changes you have made!
I have been struggling with food a lot the past few weeks in my dieting. I have noticed so many times that I'm actually not hungry, I just want something because it tastes good. I'm trying to remember to "Eat to live, not live to eat", but I still want to have dessert and fried everything at all times.
Super Bowl was very hard. I actually brought my own food so I wouldn't have any excuse to eat the pizza and hot wings available. But it's baby steps right? To a new state of mind? Hopefully one that sticks for the long term.
Don't let the devil get in your head and tell you that a 20 + lb loss is anything but AMAZING!
Wow! You are doing an amazing job, and I admire your persistence as well as your desire to be healthy in your thoughts too. I used to think that too, about celebrating with food! I would get excited, and automatically think of a celebration involving indulging, then realize, oh yeah...I'm celebrating weight loss...lol I think it's ok once in awhile in moderation to splurge on a favorite food, especially with those special extra points! :) But I found some fun ways for me to celebrate when I began were renting a fun movie I wanted to see, getting a pedicure with a friend (that was for meeting my first goal of 5%!), spending some extra "me" time at the park or somewhere relaxing, and of course - buying a new pair of pants or other clothing item sometimes! :) I just had to be creative and turn ordinary things into little celebrations and also find big things I wouldn't normally do in my budget like a pedicure, to celebrate those big goals! Anyway, this is super long, but congratulations! I hope you find some extra fun and special ways to celebrate as you continue! :)
Yay, Ash! SO exciting! There's nothing quite like a hubby's acknowledgment of your hard work!
We went invited to dinner at a new friends' house recently, and the evening was the first time that I'd been to a get together that didn't feature food as the main event. Yes, there was dinner. It was delicious, simple, and quick. There was visiting around the table, but no lingering. We spent maybe 5% of the evening with food; the other 95% visiting and just enjoying company without food as a distraction. It made me really consider how vital I've always thought food was in entertaining... as if you can't have a great time without it.
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