About 4 weeks ago we found a lump on Graysen leg.
A HUGE lump.
And I was scared.
I took her to the Dr. the next day and he gave us antibiotics for an infected lymph node, and said that if it didn't go away he would want to do an ultrasound and run some blood work...
but that it didn't feel like cancer.
The "C" word...did he really have to say it out loud?
She took the 5 day antibiotic and it seemed to be getting smaller.
I analyzed it every. single. day.
Until Tuesday night...
It was big again, protruding from her leg - pink.
So, back to the Dr. we went.
All I could think about was cancer.
Sure, I knew that it was probably cat scratch disease...
but cancer...
what if?
He gave her more meds, this time for 2 weeks.
He also ordered blood work.
He told me that we would get the results of the lymphoma test back the same day.
As I held my 3 year old little girl on my lap while she was getting blood drawn all I could think about was...
more tests. chemo treatments. more pain. more tears.
In the 4 hours that followed my mind was full of fears.
"So this is what our 7th year of marriage would hold.
Silas' birthday would be forever tainted by the news we would receive today.
hospitals.
hair loss.
fighting for her life. every. single. day.
losing another child."
The pain was so scary it started to grip my heart and then I stopped.
God is all mighty.
God reigns.
God has already won this battle.
Why was I questioning?
Why did I fear?
This little girl isn't mine anyway.
She is His...and He loves her more than I ever could.
At 1:05 p.m I got the call...the test was negative.
God is good.
All the time.
A HUGE lump.
And I was scared.
I took her to the Dr. the next day and he gave us antibiotics for an infected lymph node, and said that if it didn't go away he would want to do an ultrasound and run some blood work...
but that it didn't feel like cancer.
The "C" word...did he really have to say it out loud?
She took the 5 day antibiotic and it seemed to be getting smaller.
I analyzed it every. single. day.
Until Tuesday night...
It was big again, protruding from her leg - pink.
So, back to the Dr. we went.
All I could think about was cancer.
Sure, I knew that it was probably cat scratch disease...
but cancer...
what if?
He gave her more meds, this time for 2 weeks.
He also ordered blood work.
He told me that we would get the results of the lymphoma test back the same day.
As I held my 3 year old little girl on my lap while she was getting blood drawn all I could think about was...
more tests. chemo treatments. more pain. more tears.
In the 4 hours that followed my mind was full of fears.
"So this is what our 7th year of marriage would hold.
Silas' birthday would be forever tainted by the news we would receive today.
hospitals.
hair loss.
fighting for her life. every. single. day.
losing another child."
The pain was so scary it started to grip my heart and then I stopped.
God is all mighty.
God reigns.
God has already won this battle.
Why was I questioning?
Why did I fear?
This little girl isn't mine anyway.
She is His...and He loves her more than I ever could.
At 1:05 p.m I got the call...the test was negative.
God is good.
All the time.
3 comments:
So very glad to hear the test was negative! Its hard to not think of all the bad what ifs when your child is sick or has to have tests.
She looked so very brave in the picture though!
Praise the Lord! Grey looks so pretty.
Wow! I really need to check in on your blog more often, so glad this post ended with good news.
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