I think I just realized that I've lost my own identity. Maybe not to some - but do I even see myself as Ashley anymore? Or am I Hunter and Graysen's mom? Do Dad's lose their identity the same way moms do? I don't think so. Sure, Lincoln is Hunter and Graysen's dad...but he is also still Lincoln. This is something that I struggle with.
I am a big "self-help" book reader. Everything I read reminds me that it is imperative for me to keep some time for ME. That my mental and physically health depend on it. Hmm...do I do that? I know I do have some time for me once in awhile...but I'm not sure that I'm doing the activities that keep me mentally at my strongest. My me time usually consists of driving to and from Rolla to work, showering (sometimes I get to do this alone...), and reading my book in the middle of a chaotic living room. I think men (in general) are more apt to make time for themselves a priority. Lincoln goes on trips with his brothers and friends from church, he plays sports for fun...he takes time for himself.
I am very blessed to have a husband who understands the importance of keeping my own identity...and he encourages me to do this more than I encourage myself. He sends me on spa days to STL with girlfriends, is more than happy to keep the children in order for me to go see a girly movie, etc.
Luckily, the bottom line is - I'm happy with my life. Most of the time I'm okay with not having my own identity anymore. I'd rather be known as Hunter and Graysen's mom than Ashley anyday. I'm a better person as their mom than I was on my own.
And I thank God for that everyday.
1 comment:
I think your blog is nice. I'd like to know some of the books you've read that are great, and maybe I can share some of the books I've read, too.
I felt like I lost my identity when I got married. I started teaching and was known as "Mrs Haid", and it was strange because "bethany" and "mrs haid" seem to have different personalities. I understand what you said.
PS, it was easy to find your blog on google!
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