Boys

Raising a son has me worried. I'll just come right out and say it. I have no experience with boys at all. I never had any brothers, and I really wasn't close to any of my boy cousins growing up. Hunter has already thrown me for a loop several times in his 4 short years, and I know there are MANY more to come! The closer Hunter gets to going to school the more and more I question the school system and the more I wish I could home school him...unfortunately this doesn't look like an option for our family at this point, but it sure is something I pray for God's guidance on daily!

I found this article that I think has some VERY good point on boys...enjoy!

http://www.newsweek.com/id/157898/page/1

The Shack

I just finished an incredible book this morning. "The Shack" is a MUST read for everyone! If you've ever craved to be in the presence of God - this is the book for you! Although it brought me to tears before page 100, I would highly recommend it to anyone. It did push some of the religious ideals that I've been raised to believe, but opened my mind and heart to new ways of thinking, a new outlook on life and those I'm surrounded by. I have to do more research into the validity of the story, but regardless - go out and READ IT!

theshackbook.com

Here are a few quotes from the book that really hit home with me...

"I already told you that forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgement, but without true change, no real relationship can be established. ..."Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation. And sometimes - and this may seem incomprehensible to you right now - that road may even take you to the miracle of fully restored trust."


"...just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means that I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."


"Don't ever discount the wonder of your tears. They can be healing waters and a stream of joy. sometimes they are the best words the heart can speak."

Sleep Woes

So I woke up this morning and feel as though I've been hit by a truck. It's not because I am tired...in fact, I've been getting more sleep lately than I have in a long time! Graysen's been doing wonderfully...waking up only once a night usually! Last night we were all exhausted and the entire family was in bed by 8:30! (We're old, I know...) Seriously though, it was awesome! Although Graysen did get up more than usual (1:30, 5:00, and 7:00), I got about 10 hours of sleep! Holy Cow! Anyhow - back to the point...my back and hips are in some major pain today. If my body hurts like this at age 25 what in the world am I going to feel like at age 80??? Yuck, I can't think about it.

My mom suggested that maybe it's my mattress...what a genius, why didn't I think of that?! So...now I'm on a hunt for a great mattress...

What mattress do you sleep on - would you recommend it or not?

Don't Cry Over Spilt Green Beans

Something's wrong with me. I was just making the kids lunch and went to put the container of green beans in the microwave when I lost my grip and they fell and spilt all over the counter and floor. What did I do? Not calmly say "sorry guys, it's going to be another minute before lunch is ready, silly Ashley spilt the green beans." No...I burst into tears. I swear. The kids are now calmly sitting at the table eating their lunch (turkey, cheese, crackers, and green beans) and everything is fine...but for that one minute today - everything was NOT fine...but I just reminded myself (outloud may I add...)

Don't Cry Over Spilt Green Beans!

Outside my box...

I've done several things lately that have made me step outside my box.

1. I started a fantasy football team this year. I've never done this, although it's been a passion of my husbands for several years now. I decided I was going to see what all the hype was about - and hopefully develop a passion for one of the same things as Lincoln. (I have not been too interested in it, but it's going for what it's worth)

2. I signed Hunter up to play soccer this season! I'm not a fan of team sports...actually, just not a fan of sports at all. But - my son and husband sure are, so I knew Hunter would be thrilled with finally being old enough to play on a team. He had his first game tonight and LOVED every minute of it. I can tell you already that sitting outside in the weather and listening to those soccer moms (yes, they are already there at pre-k soccer games) is going to stress me out every Tuesday night...but it's worth it to see the smile on Hunter's face after the game!

3. I read a sports book! "Why My Wife Thinks I'm an Idiot" was great! I'm often "privileged" enough to watch Mike and Mike in the Morining with Lincoln on TV and I do find both Mikes very funny. When I was desperate for a book about a week ago Lincoln suggested I read one from him stack of "to reads" (that doesn't get depleted nearly as fast as mine does...). I thought he was funny, but picked this one (because I also think my husband is an idiot at times and was curious what made 'Greeny' think his wife thought of him as one as well). Turns out the book was a wonderful easy read with tons of amusing stories told from a father's point of view. I'm actually getting ready to hit amazon.com and see if I can find anything else written by him...and I'm looking forward to Mike and Mike in the Morning tomorrow! :0)

4. I watched "Baby Mama". I usually don't care for "light hearted" movies about pregnancy or parenthood because I get on a high horse about people who take pregnancy and healthy children for granted. But - my girlfriends and I watched it last night and I was able to laugh at a lot of it! It wasn't nearly as funny as people had hyped it up to be, but it was at least - finally - a light hearted look at pregnancy (and some of the problems associated with it) that I wasn't offended by. Kudos to the script writer and producer!

Lincoln's Like List

My husband and I are so very different. I'm reminded of this at least once a day, but, somehow we semi-balance each other out. We tend to do things to humor the other one - such as this "love list" that Lincoln started for me. He couldn't get very far - not sure if that's because he doesn't love many things, because he's embarrassed to do such a thing, or because he just wasn't interested in it enough to sit down and actually think about it - but either way, he started it and promises that he'll keep adding as he thinks of things.

Here is Lincoln's "love list":

1. Doing nothing for a whole day
2. The yard after it's just been mowed
3. Manual vehicles
4. CD's that you can listen to from start to finish
5. My wallet
6. Jeans
7. Folding Laundry
8. My kids
9. Coming home from work and knowing that the kids are going to be excited to see me
10. Going to the movies
11. Putting clothes on straight out of the dryer


I was reminded twice today that we're so different...

1. Lincoln would sit and watch Sunday Football ALL DAY LONG - I could never do this
2. I'm always looking for a new house (and calling my brother in law - our realtor) - Lincoln would stay in this house forever

My prayer is that, no matter our differences that we can always find some common ground to connect on. Someday when our kids are grown and gone I think that ground is going to get smaller and smaller - but we're working on making memories now that we'll share forever and establishing things that we do have in common...what are you doing to make sure your marriage lasts forever...?

Tour of Missouri in STJ

The Tour of Missouri was in STJ today. You would've thought the President himself was coming to visit. I thought the amount of things the city had planned was ridiculous really. Sorry if I'm being a Party Pooper, but honestly, must we try to make ourselves out to be this big city when really we're just a little bitty town where everyone knows everyone else and their business? No - it's a lot like the people who leave here and then come back (either while in college or afterward) trying to "prove" to those of us who choose to make our home here how much "better" the "outside" is. (yes, i know there were a lot of quotation marks in that sentence.) Now...don't get me wrong, I don't think everyone tries to do that, but there are a fair amount who do and they drive me NUTS! But - I digress. Lincoln and I decided to take our family out to Redburn's and watch the race from their front yard, that way we didn't fight the street closings and crowds in town. It was awesome to be that close to them while they were actually racing (the race didn't start until they turned on B Hwy). But...if you blinked you missed it. There were TONS more cars and support vehicles than bicyclists, and they were so crammed together that they went by in 5 seconds flat. Big time disappointment and let down for all of us. Oh well, at least we can say we saw them.

Happy Birthday to a Great Friend!

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Bethany....
Happy Birthday to you!

I hope you have a great day - let me know how 26 feels! :0)

in a rut

Well...I'm in a rut. Just kind of in life in general. I feel like I need to branch out a bit. Try something new. Experience something new. It seems that day in and day out I do the same thing. Luckily looking at my calendar (which I live by) I have some exciting things coming up before the close of 2008.

Exciting things...

#1: Hunter starts his tumbling class tomorrow! This will be his first organized class and I can't wait to see how he reacts to it!

#2: Hunter starts soccer this Friday! He is really looking forward to playing on a "real team"! They will have practice and a game each week for 10 weeks!

#3: The kids and I are going to the Springfield Zoo on the 13th.

#4: Lincoln and I will be taking our first overnight trip together away from Graysen on the 25th. We are going to STL to the Cards Game that afternoon and spending the night up there...coming home on the 26th. I'm sad because it will be my first night away from Gray, but excited because Lincoln and I desperately need a rejuvenating date!

#5: I am doing the Walk For Life on Sept. 27th - it's a fundraiser for the Pregnancy Resource Center of Rolla!

#6: October is coming, which means a trip to the pumpkin patch, new Halloween costumes (2 this year!), a Halloween Party with our friends, and a trip to the farm to ride horses, and go on a hay ride! (I must plan all of these outings very soon!)

#7: November 8th I am going to the Lindenwood Dance Concert, their first one in their new theater! Some of my girlfriends are performing in the concert and I can't wait to watch them dance and see what's become of the program that I poured my heart and soul into during my years at LU!

#8: November 27th is Thanksgiving! I love this holiday with no stress of purchasing gifts, but enjoying the company of family and good food! :0) This is also Miriam's 1st birthday!

#9: November 28th is Graysen's 1st Birthday! Wow! My kid's birthdays are my favorite days of the year, and I'm so excited to have another one to celebrate this year!

#10: December 12th I leave for my 1st husband and kid free vacation in over 5 years! This also marks the first time that I will ever be away from Hunter for more than 1 night. 2 of my best friends and I are going to Chicago - we leave at 6:30 Friday morning (from Union Station STL) and arrive home at 12:30 p.m. Sunday night (or Monday morning)! Yippy for girlfriend time and a first trip to Chicago.

#11: Christmas! I love Christmas morning with Lincoln, Hunter, Graysen, Mom, Kara, Charlie, and Grandma. It's some of my favorite hours all year long. What a great way to close out each year!

Dislike List

1. Women who don't take care of themselves or their babies, yet never have any problems with pregnancy.
2. Lawn Seats at UMB Bank Pavillion
3. People who change plans at the last minute
4. People who think that divorce is okay just because it's common
5. Black olives and mushrooms (unfortunately this is Lincoln's fav. pizza!)
6. Abortion
7. People's dumb comments when someone is going through a loss (if you haven't experienced it before, just don't say anything at all - find another way to SHOW them that you love them!)
8. Pictures of scenery
9. Trying to fit into clothes that just don't fit anymore
10. Hot Apple Pie with ice cream
11. Black Coffee
12. Public "release of gas"
13. Drunk people / night clubs
14. Playing sports
15. People who give their opinion without being asked
16. Sushi
17. People who raise their sons to be wimps (hard to explain, but very evident when you see it!)
18. Thinking about funding retirement
19. Teachers who don't leave adequate notes for their subs
20. People who come back to STJ and try to prove how much they've changed or have bettered themselves.
21. When people are mad at me or disappointed by me
22. The thoughts of going to a class reunion
23. Spending the night away from my kids
24. Leftovers (although I'm getting much better at this...)
25. Not having caller ID
26. Touching the food on dirty dishes
27. Scary Movies and Stupid Humor movies (not sure what the technical term for that is)
28. Lincoln's snoring (before I fall asleep, afterward it doesn't bother me)
29. Fans who yell at sporting events on TV
30. Football games
31. Little girls with unkept hair
32. Bugs, spiders, mice, and snakes
33. Getting sweaty
34. Fake crying (out of children)
35. Messy eaters

Love List

Yet another challenge...can you come up with a list of things that you love - as random as can be???

1. Chocolate covered bananas
2. Being Married
3. Being a Mommy
4. Getting to sleep - anytime, any place!!!
5. "Me" time
6. Seeing Hunter and Graysen grow up and experience new things and explore new places
7. Dancing in a studio by myself
8. Stretching
9. Thinking about seeing my children in Heaven
10. IC Mocas
11. Red Lobster
12. Cinnamon and Sugar Toast
13. People who nurse their babies (not forever...lol)
14. Traveling out of Missouri
15. People who are confident in their body types
16. Family Hugs
17. Manual Cars
18. Singing with Lincoln and Hunter
19. Looking at / taking pictures of people
20. Sleeping with music playing
21. Blogging late at night
22. The smell of Bacon
23. The smell of rain
24. Reading books to myself
25. Buying new clothes
26. Cold Apple Pie
27. Ruby's Ice Cream
28. Christmas Decorations at the Mall
29. Sweet Tea
30. Girls Nights
31. Talks with my sister
32. My wedding ring
33. Getting my hair cut and colored
34. The feeling I get when I know without a doubt that Lincoln and I are on the same team...always.
35. My kids birthdays
36. Being pregnant!
37. Gerbra Daisies
38. Whitney Houston and FFH
39. Wearing and apron (and getting a new one!)
40. Moby Wraps
41. My Bread machine and homemade bread
42. Getting out of a hot bath and crawling straight into bed still wrapped in my towel
43. My husbands kisses
44. Family heirlooms (like my table and step stool)
45. Seeing other people's taste in home decor and dreaming about what my house will look like when I have the time and money to do what I really want with it!
46. Reusable shopping bags
47. Bumbo Chairs
48. My Pearls
49. College Memories
50. Learning from my mistakes

Challenge - Love

My friend has challenged me to do a study on Christian Stewardship! The verses that I will be studying and responding to are the following:

Love - John 15:9
Sacrifice - Romans 12:1
Possessions - Proverbs 3:9-10
Ownership - Psalm 24:1
Relationship - Leviticus 26:12

She defined Christian Stewardship as this: Being Responsible and Generous with the Gifts God has Entrusted You.

Here's what John 15:9 - 17 says:

9"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17This is my command: Love each other.

My response: Wow! What a call! When I read this the first time I was so overwhelmed with the calling and I sat and read it 3 more times before I began to write this. Although the command seems simple at first glance - love each other - putting it into practice is not that easy is it? When I think of it in terms of Stewardship I think that God is calling us to take our talents, whatever they may be, and use them in a way to show His Love to others. If you're a great hostess, have people over to your home, show them the "love of Jesus" (as my small group likes to say). If you have a beautiful voice, sing at your church, if you can knit, make baby hats to donate to the hospital, or afghans for the nursing home.

I guess, the overall picture that I got out of these verses is to share your love with people...and let them know that the reason you're doing it is because Jesus first loved you.

25 Years

What will it be like to be married to Lincoln for 25 years? Hmmm...

My Great Aunt and Uncle renewed their wedding vows today for their 25th wedding anniversary. We made the trip to STL to watch the special ceremony after church and eat a "reception" style lunch with many of their friends and family. It was very encouraging to see a couple (well up in their years because they were both married before) share such a public love with each other. It was so awesome to see them WANT to reaffirm their love for each other in front of their children, grandchildren, brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, friends, and most importantly, God. So many couples these days (well, those who actually stay married) are just going through the motions. They just stay together because for their kids, or because that's what's comfortable. Not because they are in love with each other. Really Sad.

Although I'm not sure Lincoln and I will ever renew our vows, I hope that 21 years from now a younger generation can look at us and feel the same way I felt looking at Mr. and Mrs. Bill Albright today.

Congratulations!

Words to live by...

I got a box of Dove Chocolates for my birthday from one of my girlfriends. Not only is Dove my favorite chocolate, the extra perk of the "words of wisdom" on the inside of each wrapper just makes them all the better. When I worked in an office I had a few of the wrappers actually posted on the wall above my computer. Silly, maybe to keep a candy wrapper, but I really think that whoever comes up with these 1-6 word phrases are genius. Hunter has greatly enjoyed helping me finish this particular box of chocolates and he is also thrilled when he unwraps one and waits for me to "read the words".

I hope that next time you eat a piece of Dove chocolate you'll take time to stop and ponder the message...maybe it's meant just for you!

Proud of Kara

I am very proud of my sister.  She has followed her dreams and has begun her career as a stylist.  She is very talented!  On her first day of work she already had 6 appointments!  Not only is she the best friend, sister, and aunt, she's also the best hair dresser ever!!  :0)  

Idiot...

Does anyone else hate it when they look like an idiot?  Especially when it's someone else's fault?  I realized today that this is one of my faults.  I get so mad when I do something that makes me look dumb just to find out later that I wasn't informed of plans or information ahead of time.  

It's totally silly...I'm sure I'm the only one who thinks I look like an idiot, but I think it comes from my overly obsessivness with planning ahead of time.  I HATE to run late, I hate to change plans, I hate to not know what's going on next week.  Whew.  I'm complicated.

What a Week...

This has been a wild and crazy week in the Redburn household!

Monday: Fairly Normal - Lincoln worked, Vanesa came and helped me babysit...but there were 3 Bad Things:
1. My new cell phone came in (it's pink and pretty!), but as Nesa put it together for me she realized that the sim card was set for Lincoln's number, not mine. After calling Customer Service I was told that I would have to go to the nearest At&t store to resolve the issue. Of course this means an extra trip to Rolla when we have been really trying to save gas!
2. One of my normally very happy mom's dropped their baby off that morning and were NOT happy - I was afraid she was upset with me over something.
3. I misunderstood one parent and gave their child the wrong dosage of medicine! This I'm ashamed to admit, but it's the truth.

Happily - all 3 things got resolved that day!
1. I bit the bullet and went to Rolla and got the sim card switched out no problem - now I have a working phone again! (And I got to pick up Applebees for dinner while I was there!)
2. After the parent was again very short and not happy when she picked her baby up, I emailed her to make sure everything was okay and she wasn't upset with me at all, there were just some other things going on in her life. She actually thanked me for my friendship - not at all what I had feared!
3. After a rushed phone call to the Dr. I found out the medicine was just for heart burn and spit up, nothing that could hurt the child at all! Praise God!

Tuesday: My Mom's 50th Birthday and Kara's 1st Day of her new career! I got a phone call from my mom at 6:50 a.m. telling me that my sister was getting ready to be rushed into emergency surgery for her appendix! Of course all of the kids were coming, but I could NOT miss seeing my sister before she went in for surgery, so I jumped out of bed, got dressed and made some phone calls on my way to Rolla. Vanesa came over to help Lincoln with the kids! (She really is a lifesaver, and I am SO SAD she's back at college already!) Anyway, I got there just in time to see Kara, give her a hug, listen to the surgeon explain what was about to happen, and hold her hand as they gave her the anesthesia.
Mom told me that my Dad (whom I've not talked to face to face in almost 6 years) was coming to the hospital as well. Great. Happy Birthday to Mom huh?! First her daughter goes in for emergency surgery, and then she gets to spend hours sitting in the hospital with her ex-husband?! On a positive note - the visit with him went very well. I feel like God has been preparing my heart for about 6 months to let go of the anger toward him...and now we were thrown together like this. Maybe, just maybe we can have some sort of a civil relationship. I know that it'll never be like it was before, but maybe we can have something, slowly, who knows...only God!
On top of all of this, Lincoln's best friend from college, Caleb came down for a visit on Tuesday. I was sad I didn't get to visit with him very much, but after I got home the boys were able to go golfing together and I prepared a popcorn shrimp, mashed potato, and fruit salad dinner for us all to sit down together and enjoy.

Wednesday: Lincoln had his second ortho appointment. We had to make our first major payment, luckily God had blessed us with some extra cash this past month, so it was there to pay without putting it on the credit card! When he got back from that he took the kids up to the hospital to see Kara. She got to go home Wednesday evening. We had bible study at Renauds and the kids were at our house. It was their first night with the new babysitters. They all seemed to do okay.

Thursday: This was a fairly calm day. It was my sister-in-law, and Cody's birthday. I actually got to talk to Cody for a few minutes, which was great because conversation has been scarce since she's had the twins. My whole family went to Pizza Hut that night, then I went with Kara to the Queen Pageant Practice for her to give a presentation on Stage Make-Up.

Friday: TGIF! Today was pay day, yippy! More money went back toward the ortho payments, which I just am happy that we are able to pay for without putting it on the credit card! We also figured the bills again and realized that we are going to be able to pay all the bills with Lincoln's paychecks and the babysitting money can just be for gas, groceries, etc. Yippy! Hunter with with Grammie for some special time and then Mom, Kara, Gma, Lincoln, the kids, and I all went to the Diner for dinner. Came home and went to bed EARLY! :0)

After quite the eventful week I'm glad that it's the weekend. It's just me and my kids at home, Hunter is playing the Wii, Graysen's playing with blocks, and I'm blogging. What a great morning!

My Quirks Part IV: Discipline

Yikes!  Such a touchy subject!  I'm going to keep this one short.  Let me just say that personally I am a fan of distraction, re-direction, and time-out.  Don't get me wrong.  Hunter has had some swats on the bottom in his 4 years.  But never before the age of 2.5, and only with us asking him to stop the behavior, then getting a warning, then the swat.  It's never our first reaction... because it would be out of anger that I swatted him if I did it the first time the bad behavior occurred.  We all know that's not the right way to "spank" your children.  

I don't know really what to say on this subject except that I totally agree that every child is different, and something different will work with each child.  This is also true within the same child.  What worked with Hunter 6 months ago is no longer working.  

I also believe that the punishment should fit the crime (which is why I'm against spanking for the most part).  So...if Hunter pushes Graysen down...you're more likely to see me walk by and push him down than to give him a spanking.  If he colors on the wall with crayon...he has to help clean it off.  If he spits his food on the floor, he cleans it up.  Of course there are situations like talking back that we do the time - out routine.  Actually, currently it's "Go to your room and pick up until we tell you to come out" (which is 4 minutes from the time that he actually starts picking up).  He HATES to pick up...and didn't mind sitting in time-out anymore, so this is the new punishment.  

I have to say that since I've started babysitting I've been encouraged to see that my child is not the only one who misbehaves.  Do any other moms begin to feel that their child is the only one who doesn't listen?!

Under Dog

I was just pushing Hunter on the swing outside and he asked me to run under him. It brought back so many memories of my Dad giving me Under Dog's when I was growing up. I can just hear him saying "you want an Under Dog?" "Yes!" I would scream and away I would go, so high in the sky I felt like I was flying!!! I hope that Hunter will look back on his childhood with the fondness that I do mine!

My Quirks Part III: Nursing

Alright - so there was a flurry of thoughts coming to me in between these "parenting" entries, but I'm back...sorry I'm so hard to follow sometimes!

I am a huge fan of nursing. I mean breastfeeding. Whatever you want to call it - I wish everyone would do it. This is something that no one can recreate. You know if they haven't been able to figure that out...it's some GOOD STUFF! :0) It's free (minus maybe a pump purchase), and soooo much healthier for your baby! Have you read what formula is really made out of?! Yikes and Yuck!

I understand there are circumstances in which nursing is not an option. I'm not bashing those people for not nursing. I had to quit nursing my son at 9.5 months because I had a miscarriage the medicine they gave me in the ER completely dried it up...overnight. Who I am questioning are those who give up because it hurts. (Trust me, I know it hurts, I literally sat and cried silet tears for 6 straight weeks with Hunter). Those who don't even try because they're afraid of the effects on their body (and image)....please - time to give up the selfishness and become selfless - that's what parenting is all about!!!

I wish people would quit thinking that it's a "hippy" thing to do! Holy cow...there are a lot more "hippy" things to do than feed your baby what God intended for them to eat!

I favorite book on nursing is called "So That's What They're For!" It's a easy read packed with information, tips, and laughter! I didn't read it until after I was already nursing Hunter, but I would recommend it to anyone who is pregnant!

I think that sticking with nursing takes a great deal of support. If you don't have the support of your husband, mother, best friends, etc. it will be very, very hard. There were countless times when I would call my mom and she would sit on one side of me and Lincoln on the other while I was feeding Hunter crying. Bless their hearts, for that commitment and support I owe them forever!!!

Mostly - I push you all to just give it a try, it's scientifically proven to be the best food for your baby and God created you to feed them (obviously). Those should be reason enough!