dear baby {letter 1}

 Dear Baby,

I'm not sure what to say in this letter to you.  I am 16 weeks pregnant with you right now.  We found out we were expecting you on July 21st, which seems like an eternity ago.  I won't pretend I wasn't scared when we found out you were on your way...I was.  Very scared.  How would I care for another little one?  How would I do going back to the "baby stage"?  Your big sister is almost 4 years old.  That's a long time to be without a baby in the house!

 

I was much sicker this pregnancy than I ever have been before.  You gave us a scare at 6 weeks, but I went in for an ultrasound and your little heart was beating away, and you measured right on!  Since then you've been doing great!  I'm growing quite a bit, and in all maternity pants at this point.  

I've been very scared each time I go in for a doctor's appointment, scared your heart won't be beating.  But there are you, beating away, music to my ears each time.  Each time, growing my faith in a God that takes great enjoyment in healing hearts.  We have 25 more days until our next ultrasound.  25 more days until we find out if we'll be adding a little sister or brother to our growing clan.  25 more days until this Mommy's mind can rest and my heart can start growing exponentially to add you in.  25 more days until I can start laughing, and dreaming, and hoping.  I can't wait to know that you are healthy and that you'll not only be in my arms, but in my home for years to come.   

Your big brothers and sister are very excited about you coming.  They love you so much already they've decided that they will all help change diapers!  Wow.  Now, that's love coming from 7 year old boys!  Your sister is sure you are a boy.  Only because she had a dream that she took the toy cart away from you while I was doing the laundry and you cried, then she gave it back.  In the dream you were a boy apparently.  She's talked about that dream for weeks.  I'm praising God for knitting you into your siblings hearts long before you arrive.  Nothing is more precious to me than to see your brothers and sister loving on each other, just as I know they will do with you when you arrive.  

Much love,

Mommy