I read this 20x's a day...

I have mentioned our friends who are adopting from Ethiopia several times on this blog before, and here I go once more!  This is an excerpt from one of Dani's most recent blog posts:

One of our CT friends just got back from visiting their daughter and we got this:

I didn't get any pics of Feyesa....once he was sleeping with his back to me and the other time I didn't have my camara, but I did give him a cuddle and he looked like he was doing great. When I asked about him, the nannies said Feyesa "big baby". He isn't that big, but there are lots of new tiny, tiny babies." 

Side note-Ash one of those tiny tiny babies is going to be yours the rate you are moving!

She also said:

The babies are getting about 4-5 bottles of formula a day and they eat solid food twice a day. They fix them a large portion of food. They take the babies outside around 9am and let them get some sunshine. After that they are all ready for a morning nap. They are on a good schedule. I would go in before bed to check on Wubeski and they would all be asleep in their cribs. It was very peaceful. The nannies sleep on a mattress on the floor right by their beds. The nannies do love our babies and take good care of them.

As silly as it seems, that one line "Ash one of those tiny tiny babies is going to be yours...!" makes me smile every single time!!!  It's amazing to think that families who are traveling to pick up their babies, could be seeing, holding, and kissing our baby, Hunter's baby brother!  It's also awesome to hear someone say that the nannies are taking such good care of them for us.  

How in the world am I going to be able to thank them enough for all of the love and care they've given my child when I get there?  I pray that God will give me the words to communicate my thankfulness to them.  I pray that I will think of the right gift to take them.  

Sometimes Mommies just ruin everything!

It seems that I'm already ruining Graysen's life.  Or so she thinks.  

Every time she comes up with an idea of something to do and I shoot it down she just gives me this priceless pouty face look and whines.  In her language (which if you know her very well, you know she's had forever and doesn't seem to be willing to give up anytime soon) she pretty much gives me the "what for".  Sometimes I get the full out "throw myself on the floor and sob and see if that changes her mind" treatment.  

Last night we were playing a game with my glasses (I know, big no-no, but sometimes you just have to have fun and not worry about getting your glasses broken!).  I started getting a headache from not having them on, so I told her the game was over.  I got the pouty face and whine.  Then she wanted to go outside.  "Ouw" (this is her word for outside).  When I told her it was too late I got "the talk".  A few minutes later she went back to the door and wanted to go out again.  Again, I told her "no".  Lucky me, I got the "I'm going to throw myself on the floor to show you just how mean you are" treatment.  

I'm sure that this will only manifest itself in a variety of ways over the next 17 years.  I can't wait!  

Quote to Ponder

"Sometimes, when we feel stuck, or stagnating — even slipping backwards, we may actually be backing up — to get a running start. I urge you to trust such periods of adjustment, the way a writer has to trust the stillness before the creativity starts to flow again."

~Dan Millman

I like this quote very much.  My thoughts on it aren't forming into words.  I would encourage you to be still and let it sink into your mind...

I'm drowning in lists...and updates on the process

Lists, lists, everywhere!  

My life is consumed with lists right now!  I don't know how else I would keep it straight, but I literally have two sheets every day:  One for "to do's for AAI" and one for "to do's for AKI".  At the end of the day I re-write my list for the next day taking off the things that I accomplished and transferring over the ones that still need finished up, often adding new items to the list.  I literally can not walk out of the house without my binder now.  I feel the need to be prepared with all of my paperwork if a situation may arise while I'm out that I could accomplish something!  I'm always brain storming ways to accomplish the things on the list faster.  I feel as though I am constantly making phone calls to try to "sweet talk" someone into doing us a favor when it comes to paperwork.  I'm asking someone to print something, someone to let me use their copier, someone to let me fax something.  I'm asking someone to fill something out, make a deposit for me, sign something.  It's absolutely amazing when you step back for a second and look at it.  I told Lincoln yesterday, adoption could literally be a 40 hour a week job!!  

I have no idea how fast I'm accomplishing this paperwork compared to everyone else who adopts, but I feel as though I'm doing it as quickly as I can while continuing to be a good wife and mother.  I had to take a step back today because I was filling out our background check forms to be faxed and Hunter came up and hugged me and bumped my arm.  I kind of snapped at him and then realized how silly it was for me to snap at him when I'm working toward another child.  If I can't be loving to the ones I have, why in the world would I get another one?!  It did make me think.  Not that I'm going to be any less driven on accomplishing my lists everyday, but I am determined not to let them interfere with Hunter, Graysen, and Lincoln.  

Updates on the process

We should have most of our paperwork done for our home study by next Wednesday.  We are sill missing our references. (she said she would send them out this week...)  We will also be missing our certificate for completing our 10 hours of adoption education.  From what I understand they only send those out at the end of every month, and since we didn't get it until too late in April, we will have to wait until the end of May.  Somewhere in this month we will have our in home visit and then she'll write up our home study and we'll be ready to send off our 1-600A!  Yippy!

We are waiting for our educational packet from AAI.  They said there is simply a lot of stuff to read over, but nothing to complete.  About 2 weeks after they send us that, they will send us our Dossier packet!  Woohoo!  I can't wait to dive into that - I'm hoping that I'll have several of the items already due to gathering so much for the home study.  We shall see I guess...!!!

I'm a Pampered Chef Consultant!!!

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm a new Pampered Chef Consultant!  :0)  That's right, I can have your parties for you now!  I signed up under my friend Jennifer.  She suggested it to me as a way to earn extra money during our adoption and it felt like a great choice!  It is truly the only product that I feel like I can sell, because it's really the only thing that I absolutely love!  I am very excited to get started on this journey, so if any of you are interested in hosting a party and earning all kinds of great product, please let me know and I'd love to set one up with you!

It's not you, it's me. Really.

Dear Blog,

I am sorry that you are being neglected. I really do still love you. I know you're aware there's someone else. It's true, my adoption blog is seeing much more of me than you are. Someday I will be able to focus on you again...just not now. I try and try to think of things to write on you, but my mind is just consumed with other things right now. I hope you'll forgive me.

Looking forward to the day that we reconnect,
Ashley

HAPPY DAY!

Congrats to our friends the Chrisco's! They passed court today!!! I'm beyond happy for them - we can't wait to meet your little one!!! Love you!

Our First Homestudy Meeting

The day started off well. Lincoln went into work for a few hours and I had a quiet house (no babysititng kids) to get the three of us ready. I got the kids dressed, fed, and ready for the new babysitter to come, and then showered and got myself ready. I picked up the house a bit (by the way: I've kept the living room and kitchen picked up and clean since Friday night - this is a huge accomplishment for me!) I was feeling calm, cool, and collected. Our lifesavor of a babysitting came at 10:30 (what a blessing to randomly work with a UMR girl who only has class until 10 on Tuesdays!). I showed her around the house, made sure there were lunch options laid out, diapers and wipes, etc. I introduced the kids and got them settled in for about 30 minutes. I wasn't freaking out...yet.

We got in the car and headed up there and about Union I started feeling it. The nausea set in. I felt like I might puke at any given moment. Bless Lincoln, he could totally tell and held my hand and talked me through it the whole way! We couldn't find the building and had to call Jenny while driving up and down Watson Rd., but we eventually found it and had a GREAT meeting!

We gave her some paperwork, she helped us fill out some paperwork, and she gave us more to do and gather! :0) Fun stuff let me tell you! I'm wishing that I had my dossier packet so that I could make sure I'm doing everything right and not going to have to backtrack and do it again, just slightly different for that.

Overall, a great day - I feel much more at ease about the whole process, and if I weren't motivated already...I certantly am now!!! :0)

3 great things...

Three great things happened yesterday:

1.  I had my Pampered Chef show!  It was great, and I can't thank you all enough for showing your support.  As an added blessing I had someone I don't even know offer to do a Pampered Chef fundraising show for me in Ohio!  

2.  We went and saw Mom and Charlie's new house!  It's AMAZING!  Such a beautiful home, with TONS of home, yard, and woods for our THREE children to explore.  I know they're going to have a blast doing sleep overs at Grammie and Poopa's house when they get older!  :0)

3.  We received our packet back from AAI.  It has our I600-A, our detailed report on what kind of child we'll accept, and our DVDs and workbook.  I'm super excited to get started on it!  The only negative part...?  We owe lots more money when we send it back!  lol  ( I think I'd better get used to that huh?!)  :0)

Lord, Give me a new start to my day.

I went to bed with a headache.  I woke up with one.

The bath water from last night didn't get drained (another tub cleaning headed my way).

Graysen has already thrown one of her (newly) famous fits.

I'm dying to get started on the adoption packet that we received yesterday in the mail, but know that we won't have time today.

Lord, give me a positive attitude and an appreciation for the day you have given me...no matter what happens in it!

Why don't I just keep up?

Someone PLEASE tell me why I don't just keep my house cleaning up on a regular basis rather than doing everything all at once (and not often enough)????  For some reason I find it so VERY difficult to keep a nice, neat, orderly, clean house.  I'm having my Pampered Chef Party tomorrow, and so tonight I cleaned my guest bathroom, kitchen, and living room from top to bottom.  We're talking washing windows, dusting, vacuuming, picking up, wiping down, sweeping, moping, re-organizing, etc.  As I sit here (rather than falling into bed), I love the feeling of having everything in a specific place and perfectly clean.  

Why don't I just keep it up?!

The best news yet...

We are accepted into AAI!  :0)  It's official!  They sent us out our paperwork on the 21st, so we should be receiving it any day now!  (Dani - what comes next?!?!)  

Thank you all for your prayers!

Not Worth It

We've made lots of cuts lately.  Most of them are totally worth it.  One cut that I've decided is NOT worth it is...

generic baby soap!

One of my favorite smells in the whole world is the smell of my kids coming out of the bath every night, snuggling them up and kissing their head and breathing in deep.  

You just can't beat Johnson and Johnson...

Girlfriends

One of my friends recently wrote a blog post about girlfriends.  It started me thinking.  Today I was going through a huge stack of un-labled CDs and seeing what was on them and ran across a CD that Cody had made me.  It was a song that she wrote and recorded when Claire (our first daughter) passed away.  Here are the lyrics:

There are times that it's clear to me 

that we're to help each other fight the fight.

When you can't stand up,

I'll stand up for you,

When you can't bow down,

I'll be on my knees for you,

When you can't find the strength to get you through

I'll be right here, trying to help you.

That's what friends are for.

That's what friends are for.  

When you're in need and you need someone to intercede

That's what friends are for.  

There are times in our lives that we can't control

Sometimes they knock us off our feet

Sometimes they bring us to our knees

Sometimes there are times when we can't do anything

We just stand there and we breathe

When you can't stand up,

I'll stand up for you,

When you can't bow down,

I'll be on my knees for you,

When you can't find the strength to get you through

I'll be right here, trying to help you.

That's what friends are for.

That's what friends are for.  

When you're in need and you need someone to intercede

That's what friends are for. 

Oh, when you're in need and you need someone to intercede,

That's what friends are for.

That's what friends are for.

It's funny to me to think back through what "friends" have meant to me throughout my life.  Moving often growing up I tended to find one close friend in each state.  In Washington DC it was Diana, in Nebraska it was Valerie, in Illinois it was Katie, in Alaska it was Martha and Sarah.  I always had my cousins (Jayna, Brittany, and Miranda) here in Missouri for when we came "home" to visit.  When we moved back here the summer before my 8th grade year I developed a whole group of close friends.  Although a few of the friends took different paths as we got into the middle years of High School, for the most part we all stayed close all the way through.  I even went to college with two of them.  

Friends as a child and even through High School meant that we shared the same interests.  We often times did the same extra curricular activities or took the same classes in school.  As I got into college, my friends started to mean different things to me.  I had lost touch with most of my friends from high school and started making friends in college that were from all walks of life.  I had friends in and out of the dance department.  I had friends in the military, friends of different races, friends from several different countries.  Friends in college were like extended family.  They were there when your family was hours away.  They taught you new things and showed you new ways to view things.  We all came from different towns, different family sizes, and different upbringings.  It was a nice mesh.  

Now that I'm married and have children friends mean a whole new thing to me.  I have friends that I'm friends with just because we share common interests, or our kids do activities together.  I still have some friends that I have known since High School.  I also have new friends that I have met through work or church.  Some of these friends are great to meet for dinner, or do a play date with.  

I don't have time for friends very often.  I'm a busy girl.  Some of my very best friends are women that live hours and hours away.  Some of them I go weeks or even months without talking to.  It is not important that we share the same extra curricular activities or that we eat lunch together weekly.  We don't need to have kids the same age or have kids at all.  What I need right now are my friends that are friends because they know me inside and out.  They know what makes me tick.  They have seen me in my darkest of times and at my best.  They encourage me in my Christian faith and I can count on them no matter what.  I need my friends that I know will load up their kids or leave work early to drive to my side if I have a crisis.  I need my friends that I don't feel guilty asking that kind of sacrifice of because I know I would do the same thing for them in a heartbeat.  I need my friends that I don't mind correcting my children because I trust that they are good parents and truly love my children and have their best interest in mind.  

Sometimes I am okay with not seeing my friends that often...then there are times when I wish I was surrounded by them daily.  I miss you all.  

Pampered Chef Fundraiser Reminder

Hey everyone!  Just a reminder that our Pampered Chef Fundraiser is coming to a close this Saturday!  If you would like to place an order please contact me (ashleyredburn@hotmail.com, 263-0258, or comment on the blog), or place an order HERE.  

Thank you for all of your support as we travel this amazing journey!  

Ash

Pampered Chef Fundraiser Reminder

Just a reminder that my Pampered Chef Adoption Fundraiser is coming to a close this Saturday!  If you would like to place an order please contact me (ashleyredburn@hotmail.com, 263-0258, or comment on this blog post), or place an order online HERE...make sure that I am listed as your host.  If you have any questions please let me know!  

Thanks everyone!  

Why Ethiopia?

We've had tons of people ask why we made the decision to adopt from Ethiopia specifically.  Here are some of the reasons:  

• One in ten children die before their first birthday
• One in six children die before their fifth birthday.
• 60 percent of children in Ethiopia are stunted because of malnutrition.
• 1.5 million people in Ethiopia are infected with HIV (sixth highest country in the world).
• 720,000 children have been orphaned by AIDS alone, and there are 4.6 million orphans in Ethiopia. (The most recent stats I can find - 2007 - say that there are 127,000 children waiting to be adopted here in the US - this does not count those who are adopted at birth...but they will never live in foster care or an orphanage.)  
• Half the children in Ethiopia will never attend school. 88 percent will never attend secondary school.  (...can you imagine never sending your child to school?!)
• Ethiopia's doctor to children ratio is 1 to 24,000 (can you imagine if that were the case here?  What would the wait to get into the Dr. would be like?  We think it's bad when we can't get our sick child in that same day!)
• We didn't qualify for many countries.  I am only 25, we've only been married for 5 years, and we're not rich.  Most countries have much higher requirements.

The best words in the world

My girlfriend who is adopting from Ethiopia emailed me the first video of her son today!  A friend of hers who is over there right now took it and emailed it to her.  What a great gift.  In the video her son is being held by a woman who has also been in lots of the pictures they have gotten of him.  As she spoke his Ethiopian name you could hear the love in her voice.  Then the videographer showed the toy he was playing with that had pictures of his parents.  How wonderful that he is surrounded by their faces even though they are not there.  As she showed the toy she said, 

"Yes, that's his family!"

Wow.  I just cried.  What awesome words.  This little boy, living on the other side of the world has a family.  They have never met, but they are family...and will be forever.

God is amazing.

God knows...

how much I can handle!  I received a return email from Jenny at 11:25 am!!!  It was a great email and WE ARE ACCEPTED!  :0)  I emailed her back to schedule our first visit!  Yea!

I have to keep my eyes open and my heart ready to listen to God through this process.  This situation was just another affirmation to me that we are doing the right thing and that God is on our side through all of this.  I'm so glad to have someone like HIM in our corner!  :0)

Frustrations are common...

So here I am.  Frustrated again.  

I thought I had picked the home study agency that would be best for us.  Now I'm questioning it.  I emailed our "girl" last Friday morning with LOTS of questions.  I got an "Auto Out of Office" Reply.  It said she would be in Monday.  

I didn't have access to a computer yesterday, so when I got it today I was ready to dive into all the answers and had thought of a few more questions.  

Did I get a reply yesterday?  No.  

Have I gotten one so far today (it's 11:00 a.m.)?  No.  

Am I frustrated?  Yes.  

I'm sure that they are busy...but if they are too busy to answer my emails, then I'm not sure I want to work with these people...  

I'm going to email one more time and see how long it takes for them to respond.  

Too bad I just sent them $250.00...