A Mixed Family

When I say that I am probably the most color blind person you will ever meet I do not say this to "brag" on myself.  In fact, I think it shows up as a negative thing more often in my life than not.  

I have never noticed the color of someone unless I'm oohing and ahhing over an African person's hair (boy or girl, I love all the possibilities, the beautiful curls, and the 'fros!)  In fact, while watching a basketball game on TV a few months back, they showed a player make an awesome shot and then cut to a woman jumping up and down in the stands obviously excited.  I said to Lincoln, "is that his mom or something?"  His response?  "Uh, Ash, he was black...you seriously are the most color blind person I know!"  It was funny at the time, but strikes a whole new chord now that we are going to be a multi-racial family!

We will get those comments.  Teachers will not be looking for me to come pick my child up from the classroom.  We will probably get odd looks in Walmart with 2 white parents, 2 white kids, and 1 black kid.  Someday when my child is doing something famous on TV and the camera shoots to me jumping around like an idiot, someone sitting at home will make the same comment Lincoln did.  (ha ha)  It's really okay with me.  

I hope that our generation will make the stero-type of families disappear.  I hope that our kids will view a family as a group of people who have made a life long commitment to each other rather than a group of people who are blood related to each other.  It is my hope that they will realize that God brings all kinds of people together, from all over the world to work for His good, and for the good of all of His children.  

Generally I'm all for "traditional" things.  Traditional households (moms who stay home, dads who work), traditional families (one mom, one dad, several kids who all belong to the same set of parents), traditional gender roles.  This is the one case where I'm hoping that "tradition" will change!  I hope that when my kids grow up people will not think it out of the ordinary for people of all skin colors to claim to be brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, parents and children.  

Now...that being said...

I'm aware that there are going to be new things to think about because we are not only adding a child to our family through adoption, but the child is coming from an African country.  Here is my list of things that need thought before our child comes home:

1.  Hair Care (Lincoln wants to keep it shaved, I want to let it grow...I think if I agree to do the care, he'll agree to it.  This is also something Kara needs to brush up on for me!)

2.  Names (I talked about this briefly in a previous post, but we need to decide - based on the age of the child - how we are going to handle his name)

3.  Heritage (we feel like there is a very fine line between keeping his Ethiopian heritage alive - which I would love to do - and singling him out of the family )

4.  Negative comments (we need to equip our children with "ready-made" responses for when they are questioned about their brother's skin color)