Her first birthday several of my best friends remembered and called, sent flowers, or cards. My cousin took a rose out to Claire's grave. Our families (both sides) went out to eat together on her birthday. It was nice that so many people acknowledged it just like they do my other children's birthdays.
The second year only those very closest to me called or came by on her birthday. My mom, my sister, my grandma, my cousin. I'll be honest, it was hard for me that so many others forgot.
The other day my Grandma brought me home a gift from a wonderful woman. I'm not sure how she remembers, she is not an especially close family friend. But, God used her to bring me a wonderful book about healing and remembrance. I will never be able to put into words how much it means to me that she not only remembered, but was not afraid to acknowledge it. Her card was short, but heart felt. The perfect thing I needed at this time of year.
On Claire's third birthday my mom and I are going to go out to brunch and then get pedicures together. I think it's something that we may do with her on her 3rd birthday. How fun it would be to take her to a salon and get her finger and toenails painted. I'm sure she would pick out a pretty pink and be thrilled for the time with her Mommy and Grammie. This year I've decided not to focus on how many people remember, or are brave enough to acknowledge, but to enjoy my time with my mom and to take some quiet time for myself to think through all the memories of those few days - the good and the bad. And do some more healing.
1 comment:
Ashley it is so up lifting to read your story. My nephew would have been 2 on Feb. 7th. Every year I go to his grave site and put flowers out. I think about what he might look like or what his favorite food might be. I never know what to say to my sister-in-law or what she might be feeling. My thoughts are with you and your family!
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