Role vs. Identity

What is the difference between our "role" and our "identity"?  This question was discussed during my small group meeting this past week.  I really think this question put into words what I have been fighting for the past 6 (or so) months.  I feel like since Hunter was born I have thrown myself into the role of Mother and Wife so much that I have forgotten who I am.  Who I am for myself, not as my children's mother, my husband's wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend.  I know this soul searching has been obvious through my entries, but I just had to "vocalize" that I finally realized what I was trying to discover.  I have been playing all of my many roles, but not living my identity.  My identity is there, buried deep under the surface desperately trying to shine through.  

My small group (made up of both men and women) agreed that women struggle with this much more then men because we feel such a strong responsibility to our family, house, etc.  We feel extreme guilt if we take time to ourselves when so many other things still need to be done!  Our kids need taken care of, there is laundry to do, dishes, cleaning, husbands to tend to.  Men somehow don't experience these feelings and rarely find it hard to drop what they're doing to play a video game, take a nap, go work out, or spend an evening with their friends.