Birthmother's Day

Today is Birthmother's Day. This year this day has a very different meaning to me than ever before. As I prepare to leave for Ethiopia in 6 days, I am filled with anticipation of what is to come...

Last year I wrote this letter:

"Can this be a "Happy Birthmother's Day"? Is there such a thing as a happy birthmother? As this is the first year that I have even known about "Birthmother's Day", or even sat and contemplated what it means to be a Birth Mother, I have very mixed emotions.

To my child's birth mother,

Today is a day to honor you. I don't know your story yet. I may never know. I wonder if you planned your entire pregnancy to give up your child, or if you were forced to take him to the orphanage after several months of desperately trying to provide for him. I wonder if you are alive and crying for him each night, or if God has already taken you from this Earth. I hope that someday I know a little bit about your story. I hope that I have something to tell my child about the mommy that grew him in her tummy. I know he will be curious to hear stories about you, and his country. I earnestly pray that I am able to provide him with all the information that you would want him to have.

Today is an odd day for me. I don't even know our child yet, but somehow, I feel drawn to you tonight as I sit in a quiet house with your son's 2 siblings sleeping in the rooms across the house. I dream about what it may be like a year from now. Will he be here with us, sleeping in a crib next to his big brother who has asked and prayed for him for months now? I pray that you have peace in your heart tonight like I have in mine.

I know that this is not what you wanted out of your life. I know you didn't grow up
as a little girl dreaming of the day that you would give up your child to a family
who would take him from his country and raise him across the globe. All I can do
is thank you for your brave decision to do what was best for your child. I can
thank you for allowing us to love him, comfort him, nourish him, and teach him about
the love of Jesus Christ.

Next year on Birthmother's Day I hope to know a little more about you, and certainly
know more about our baby boy. Our hearts will forever be entwined with a love for
the same child...this I know already.

I will write again then,

Ashley"


This year my letter is very different. It's too personal to share
on here. I do want my boys to know that I am writing their
mother a letter every year on Birthmother's Day. I will save
them all together and they can read them when they get older.
Boys, please know that I have the utmost respect for your
mother, and I love her with all of my heart...

Mom