How do you cope?

How do you cope when you are going through something that is a downer to you? I hear of people who eat, or don't eat. People who work out obsessively, people who cry, who crave time to themselves. There are so many coping methods you can't possibly name them all.

I'm sure I've written about this before, but when I was in HS I coped by sleeping. I would sometimes sleep for like 18 hours at a time...not always at night either. I had the back bedroom in my basement and there were no windows. It was like a sleeping heaven! Dark, quiet - awesome for escaping the world's problems. At least for the time being... Eventually I had to wake up and face the world again, but it sure was nice to have a place and way to forget all my worries for a period of time.

Obviously when I had my kids I could no longer sleep like that. Someone had to care for them, and since Lincoln and I have always worked opposite shifts, that was usually me. No more sleeping for Mommy. So - what did I find as a coping method? Escaping - escaping my responsibilities, escaping the quiet of my own mind. Lately I have found myself going out with my girlfriends for 1/2 price appetizers after work, going to movies with my MOPS group and out for coffee afterward, going to my Mom's house to walk (for 2 hours straight), taking 2 hour baths, etc. These are not normal activities for me. Yes, during most of them Lincoln was available to care for the kids, and at least one of them was sleeping...but still. Lincoln was home, and awake. Why did I not want to spend the time with him? It is not like me to escape my home like this. To get away from my family, my husband. I think it's because there's so much I want to say to him, but know that I've beat it into the ground over the last 3 years. He has heard everything I have to say (at LEAST 3 times). He never seems depressed this time of year, which is great - I don't want to drag him down with me. So - I avoid him.

Lincoln and I had a conversation about it tonight and he swears that he hasn't noticed anything different, (which is great!), but I have - and so...now I face the quiet of my own head and heart. I must face what is inside and deal with it.

Why...???