I wish I understood 4 year olds.

What I'm about to tell you might gross you out.  It might change your opinion of me as a parent.  But again, I'm writing this as a journal for my kids, so this is something I MUST record for Hunter's sake.  My Mom has always told me the story of me hiding and pooping in the closet at my Grandparent's house when I was 3 years old.  Embarrassing - yes.  Fact of life - yes.  

My time as a parent came last night.  Hunter had been acting up all evening, so he went to bed 1/2 hour earlier than he usually would.  He continued to come out of his bedroom several more times and was reprimanded every time.  We would send him back to his bed.  Finally, he came out one last time and asked me to change his PJ's.  As I'm changing them I keep smelling poop.  You guessed it.  He has pooped in his pull up!  Not like diarrhea, "didn't know it was coming until it was too late" poop - "I'm mad that you're making me go to bed" poop.  Defiant poop.   The grossest kind of all.  

So the clean up process started.  I just kept looking at him and saying "how do I clean up a 4 year old's poopy pants?!"  "Why did you do this Hunter?!!!"  It was horrible, I'll spare you the details.  I was angry.  I probably didn't handle it as best as I could have.  As I was wiping my son's boofanny with baby wipes, I said "Hunter, since you decided to act like a baby, you will go to bed like a baby tonight.  No movie.  Babies just lay down and go to sleep - and that's what you'll do tonight."  Did I think about the fact that I was making life harder on myself at that moment?  No.  Did I think about the fact that Hunter is scared of being alone and scared of the dark and that is why we let him watch a movie to fall asleep in the first place.  No.  I was mad and this was his punishment.  

So, we got him all cleaned up, and in new PJ's.  Then he laid down and we went to our room.  We sat and talked about it.  I called my Mom for advice.  Then my sister called me back.  She reminded me (being the awesome Aunt that she is) to make sure that he knows that we still love him.  So - Lincoln went in first and talked to him about it.  Got him all calmed down.  Then I went in and fixed up a night light for him in the hallway and laid with him and stroked his hair.  I told him that I still loved him as much as before.  I was simply disappointed in his decision.  We cried together.  It was a huge moment for us.  Who knew that my son would do some growing up and bonding with him mom over poopy pants?  Not me.  I wouldn't have ever guessed it.  

And yes, he did go to sleep without a movie - and without crying.  My boy is growing up...and growing up is hard to do!